Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧

[PassTheAfterEights]

Extra supportive pregnancy journey thread for grads of the penguin huddle and anyone due spring 2019 after a long and bumpy road.

All welcome 🐧

Thread commandments:

Thou shalt share and not apologise for any neurosis or worry

Thou shalt shuffle immediately to the centre of the huddle when feeling vulnerable or hopeless

Thou shalt share all photographs and good news and celebrate raucously that of others

Thou shalt not apologise for TMI, or pearl-clutchy words and language

Thou shalt add your handle, age, number of DC and EDD when joining the thread to roll call so we know where everyone is (thanks!)

May our beans snuggle down, heads stay steady & the elastic on our waistbands quickly snap x

@kisses4u I'm going private for the NIPT and it is quite pricey - £399. Its frustrating it's not offered on the NHS at the moment. I think they are possibly introducing it next year. I don't get the NIPT with my DS but I'm getting on a bit and more nervous about things so would rather the most accurate form of test.

*didn't

I'm not sure if I should do it too then... I'm 38 so also getting on a bit... this will be my last. However I would keep baby if it had downs it wouldn't therefore effect my decision. I guess it would be useful to know about the other syndromes however as some are life limiting. And better to know the likelihood to mentally prepare... I've got my scan Monday however and they measure the fold on the neck I think? So I'd know fairly early on if there were an anomaly as I'm only going to be 11+5 on Monday.

My hospital offer it on the NHS so I’m going to wait and see if I need it. due to my age (37) I’m already at a 1:149 risk already so it all depends on the NT/bloods if that will get pushed up or down.

@kisses4u I feel the same way. It's more to mentally prepare. Also, I think the NHS test can flag issues when actually the position is a lot better than the NHS test reveals so part of my reasoning is to give me added comfort I contemplated waiting to have the NHS scan first but DH and I just decided to go ahead and book it. So I have it on the 22 Nov them have my 12 week NHS scan on 3 Dec. (more opportunities to see the little one hopefully). You could always have your NHS scan and then see how you feel and if you think you still want reassurance then book the NIPT.

@Kisses4u My dating scan is Monday 12th. So a bit longer to wait. Off work with a migraine, been sick 🙁 I feel awful. Worried it's food poisoning. Got doctors appointment at 12. Also had some sharp twinges earlier but looked it up and it say's it's probably round ligament pain where my uterous is expanding.

Went to gp earlier. She wasn't worried. Checked me over. Then used a dopper type thing so I could hear the heartbeat. It was worth it for the reassurance.

NIPT done. Baby still in there (!) and they've put me another few days forward so I'm now 11+5 which is by my dates almost impossible!! The immaculate conception, lols

@Pancakes7 how easily did they find the HB with the Doppler? I thought it was too small to find it!

Another question guys when i went for first midwife appt (nhs) at 8 weeks she took my bloods havent hear anything but cant remember what they were for? Any ideas?
She also said i must get a flu jab or theyll do it at my 12 week scan though ive heard bad things so torn

@Swisbest2 controversially I have no plans to have the flu jab. I've never had it, I've never had flu, I've never known anyone with flu. I lead a low risk life and I don't really have any commitments where I'm likely to be exposed (I'm not commenting on public transport, working in an office etc etc). I think it depends very much on how likely you are to get it. Seems pointless to me to get a vaccine against 1 strain of illness that may not even replicate this year's virus. That said I'm not all "anti vax". I just think it's pointless in my case. Highly doubt you'll be forced to have it at the 12 week scan, but of course it would be on my conscience if I did catch the flu. I feel really naughty for saying I'm not having it.

I asked on the other thread about the bloods. I had them taken and haven't heard back. Looks like either you hear at your 16 week midwife appointment (!!!!) or if you are worried, call in and check with the GP. I'm curious because I don't think I've had chicken pox. I went in before I was pregnant to ask for the vaccine as I've heard it's terrible as an adult, but they weren't interested in doing it for me. But I guess there is nothing I can do now either way other than avoid catching it!

Hey @frankiefumbles yeah i always get the jabs and trust their advice but im just not feeling 100% confident about it after a bit of reading which i guess if youre looking for some opposing views you will find. I do remember her saying that with the test ill get a letter in a couple of weeks if all ok or a phone call if anything needs to be discussed wish i could remember what for but im all a bit of a fuzz atm!

Oh and im a retail manager so lots of bugs travelling my way. Cant remember last time i had it though quite a hardened inidividual after a good dirty outdoorsy upbringing lol

@Swisbest2 I think they check whether or not your rhesus negative and your blood type as well as other stuff - AIDs, hepatitis I think and others - could be wrong. I think the rhesus negative check is the main thing they are checking.

I'm getting flu jab. I don't always get it but I did when I was pregnant before and will do this time. Just round rather increase the protection if I can. I had a terrible cold in my last pregnancy which took ages to shift so really really don't want to get flu! Can't imagine what flu would be like.

@Swisbest2 When you collect your notes it states your blood results. It's just blood type and checking for any illnesses. I had the flu jab last weekend. I was recommend it but we don't have to. I decided better safe than sorry and I'm fine and so is baby.

@frankiefumbles she did say it might not work but it did. It didn't take too long to find it. It was lovely to hear it again.

Just got my second blood test results. Sadly HCG has dropped a bit so looks like another miscarriage. I'll be leaving this group ladies. Wishing you all so much love and luck and thank you all for your support.

@Newbie21 sorry to hear it. Sadly these MCs are more common than you imagine. I don't know if it's any consolation at all but I've had two early MCs, and I now seem to be over the "danger" hump on this third try. I thought I'd be paralysed by fear on the third try but actually my brain has gone in to self protect and been passably calm. I hope you have someone to talk it through in real life because that helps so much. Best wishes x

@Swisbest2 I think if I was working in a retail environment I'd be much more inclined to do it because the risks seem higher. When I looked at my case, I'm pretty insular and now I'm not riding my bike or running or swimming etc I'm hardly socialising at all either. In my own little snot bubble!

So sorry newbie21

So sorry @Newbie21, I hope that somehow there's been a mistake and that everything is going to be ok, otherwise to see you back here very soon indeed. I hope you're getting all the help and support you need at what must be a devastating and worrying time xx

Sorry @newbie21 i hope this is a blip or mistake for you dont lose hope you are not alone xx

@frankiefumbles i prob will get it just being very emotional and anxious atm

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry. Sending hugs.

@newbie21 I am so sorry. I hope they offer you a scan now so you can find out what is going on for sure xxx

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry.

Today is my due date of the mmc we discovered at 12 weeks in April. I'm currently (I hope) 7+5 and have my first scan on Friday. Feeling overwhelmed with emotions today. Also feel it's unfair of me to feel this way when we're so lucky to have DS. I'm just surrounded by antenatal friends onto pregnancy number 2 and really wishing with everything I've got that we'll get good news on Friday. And even then I know it'll be short lived since we'll still only be 8+3. God it's hard sometimes.

Hi ladies, I'm going for my "booking in" appointment today and meant to be having another blood test to check levels again. I'm getting a bit upset at the hospital. I literally have so many what ifs floating around my head. The hospital seem very reluctant to give me a scan which I think is very unfair on so many levels - firstly, and I know this is clutching at straws - I should be 8+3 today (and that is just me guestimating based on LMP which happened to be a CP so my cyclec was quite random) and I have read that HCG levels can start falling from 8-11 weeks. So how do they know absolutely that this is an MC? Secondly, I've had neck and shoulder pains - more dull ache for the last week and a half - I told the gp and the EPAU - gp thought I should have a scan to rule out workpiece but EPAU are saying that I'd be in more pain - which is probably very true but say this the early stages - are they just waiting for it to rupture - surely a scan would be the best way to check? And thirdly, if as is likely the case I am miscarrying then I want to know as much information as possible to help me know what happened - how far along did my little baby get? Is there even a fetus in there? Was it possibly an issue with my placenta or was it all going wrong before that? I know a scan won't give me all the answers but it might help rule things out.

Am I being ridiculous? Is this the normal course in these situations. My previous MC was an MMC so I only found out when I went for my NIPT scan but at least I had a scan so they could tell me when it happened/how far along baby got.

Rant over.

It's so hard at times @toasterstrudle I hope you get god news on Friday. I'm sure you will.

My due date for the one we lost is 11/11.

Sorry to hear your struggle @Newbie21

There is no easy answer. For me on the first time I needed to know ASAP so I just sucked up for a private scan when I had bleeding. With that I could see that the baby was very obviously an empty sack and it should have been at that point.

The second time occurred straight after a scan where the consultant told me he could see a heartbeat but I didn't believe that was what I was seeing. The baby was a week smaller than it should have been which didn't make sense as I was sure about dates. I began to miscarry it that evening.

For my own sanity, I would get myself in to a private scan ASAP if it occurred again however I realise that isn't an option available to everyone. I have never qualified for a scan with EPU and the only thing the GO has ever offered is bloods and that's a horrible 3 day wait each time because the tests have to be 48h apart plus processing time for results.

I think the problem is the things you want to know are mainly for personal reasons not medical (as they will see it) which means they won't be so keen to scan. Unfortunately you don't get any special treatment or investigation until you have three MCs. It's my understanding that at the point you are at the placenta won't be in action therefore probably that won't be the cause.

For me, I would have wanted the scan to confirm hubby and I are able to conceive. I'm not sure what to say. Have you got funds to go private? That's the most reassuring way to go and the fastest answer. Can you find a cheap scan on groupon?

*eptopic not workpiece!!!