Pregnancy after loss: spring 2019 edition (The Brexit Babes) 🐧

[PassTheAfterEights]

Extra supportive pregnancy journey thread for grads of the penguin huddle and anyone due spring 2019 after a long and bumpy road.

All welcome 🐧

Thread commandments:

Thou shalt share and not apologise for any neurosis or worry

Thou shalt shuffle immediately to the centre of the huddle when feeling vulnerable or hopeless

Thou shalt share all photographs and good news and celebrate raucously that of others

Thou shalt not apologise for TMI, or pearl-clutchy words and language

Thou shalt add your handle, age, number of DC and EDD when joining the thread to roll call so we know where everyone is (thanks!)

May our beans snuggle down, heads stay steady & the elastic on our waistbands quickly snap x

Oh @Newbie21 that is so difficult for you, how far along should you be? I was seen at 6 weeks and they could only see a sac and no embryo? Could your dates be out maybe? It's so unfair. I hope in a week you will get a nice surprise, horrible to be in limbo for a week tho. The hCG levels are confusing. Surely an mc the levels drop by 50% or more in 48 hours? Hope you are ok.
Thank you for your kind words lovely xxx

Oh @Newbie21 ❤️

Lovely scan @kisses4u. Nice to reach that milestone and hopefully start to relax a bit.

@newbie21 I'm sorry you have some more uncertainty but hope you get a pleasant surprise in a week.
Really pleased they finally scanned you, just sorry it took so long and didn't confirm happy news xxc

@kisses4u that's a lovely scan pic! I had the same due date with DS - gorgeous time of year to have a baby!

@Newbie21 thinking of you and hope you're ok. I'm so sorry things haven't worked out this time.

Ladies...slightly different topic. I know most of us are here because we are concerned about miscarriage but I imagine a few of you have nagging doubts about still birth...after all, I think we are all quite naturally clingy to our beans and bad experiences naturally makes us a touch anxious.

The other day I came across the fact that you're more likely to have a still birth than a child with downs. Which is interesting given the desire for NIPTs...but I digress. I see this 2014 article which basically says most stillbirths can be prevented by a scan of the blood flow in the placenta to detect abnormalities. Has anyone looked in to it? Why is it not more common place 4 years on? Is it worth doing privately...I see it comes as part of some of the standard private scan offerings.

Thoughts...?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-29367001

frankiefumbles many stillbirths are prevented by being under consultant led/private care but I imagine it all comes down to cost and so the NHS is only able to offer scans and extra care to those who are deemed high risk.

Once upon a time, when I was quite naive about these things, I ignorantly presumed stillbirths were due to an underlying issue with the baby. The reality seems to be that the placenta and cord are so often the cause instead and someone knowing what they are looking for (although hindsight is a wonderful thing!) could have done much to prevent it.

I think that lots of people feel it won’t happen to them or else they are making what they think is an informed decision to do something (such as go over 42 weeks) and actively go against medical advice. There are times when these increase the stillbirth statistics and were avoidable.

Since the death of my daughter, I go to regular SANDS meetings and the huge number of avoidable baby deaths I hear about are devastating. I was told the day you are born is one of the most dangerous you will experience but for some, it’s before this.

Thats interesting @frankiefumbles what isbit called when they do it so that i know which private would be worth using

Oh gosh, even more to worry about. Think I'll book one of these Doppler scans. I've already found a local place.

I'm sorry if I've caused any worry to anyone.

@SurfingOwl I was conscious of your situation when I posted this, and I hope I haven't caused you worry/distress.

I was just quite taken aback by the bold statements they make and wondered if perhaps it's something that all mothers to be should consider, even if they have to self fund. I didn't want to post it on the normal boards though because I feel people are maybe a bit more objective here having already gone through various traumas - I hate worrying the people who are having the elusive magic no-fear-perfect-pregnancy

@Swisbest2 It's my understanding that you would call it something like..."Doppler analysis of placental blood flow"...or "of blood flow between the placenta and baby"

On Ultrasound Direct (they have places everywhere) I see they offer analysis of placental blood flow. This is in their normal £89 growth scan. I suppose what I was saying is we see a fair number of people opting for NIPT and gender scans when in actual fact there is some evidence (albeit well hidden?) that having a scan of the placenta could make a much more significant difference to the health of the baby. I do worry about whether a sonographer could interpret the scan.

For my second pregnancy, an mc, I wanted to go consultant led as I felt it was the gold standard and I was desperate. However I went in, he told me he could see a heart beat but to me it was very clear it wasn't a heartbeat. I'd never seen one before so I wasn't bold enough to tell him that. But when I saw one it confirmed he was wrong. Even a good consultant can...get it wrong/have a bad day etc.

Now don't get me wrong, I understand the NHS does its best. I understand we can't all be tested for everything. But I do feel that in the scheme of a child's life, £89 is a drop in the ocean. Some people spend more than that drinking coffee for 9 months.

I was high risk and consultant led for my last pregnancy (with four weekly scans) and, ultimately, it was a placenta issue. This time round I am also high risk and consultant led but I have a fetal medicine specialist carrying out all of my scans (including Doppler analysis) instead of a sonographer. Last time was supposed to be a random one off that won’t happen again so 🤞🏻.

Absolutely fingers crossed for you. Do you feel you get more info from the feral medicine specialist or do they just sound like a sonographer and the additional info gets relayed to the consultant rather than you? I think if I were to get an analysis of the placenta I would go to somewhere slightly more glitzy than our local clinic and would seek out someone with experience of looking "critically" of placenta flow

The fetal medicine specialist is also my obstetrician consultant who I will see every fortnight (alternate a scan or antenatal clinic) and the scan appointments are much longer and more detailed. I’m planning on going to the Placenta Clinic in Manchester (part of Tommy’s) for a scan, which is supposed to be one of the best in the world, so will keep you posted on that.

It's ok, I'm just trying to think positive and saw my dating scan as when I can begin enjoying this pregnancy. But this is something I hadn't even thought of. I guess I just want to stop worrying. I will look at getting a doppler scan though. Places I've found say it's for around 20 weeks.

@SurfingOwl it's great you've found the right place. It sounds like you'll get the gold standard there!

Dopplers sound interesting to me but im a bit kack handed at the best of times let alone in my current state. How many people are planning to/ have already used them?

I wouldn’t use a home doppler @Swisbest2 as I think they can provide false reassurance (just because you can hear a heartbeat doesn’t mean the baby is well) but a doppler scan, although confusing with the name, is completely different and looks at blood flow in the baby and placenta and can help to predict a high risk pregnancy.

Yes doppler scan was what I was referring to. As @Swisbest2 said.

Sorry I meant as @Surfingowl said

Yeah ive done a bit of research and i think i might cause myself more worry. Im on edge as it is without struggling with a piece of kit dwsigned for professionals!

Yeah I think it's more hassle than its worth. Might cause unnecessary worry if you can't use it properly and can't find a heartbeat.

Someone else got their dating scan Monday too? I forget who. 4 days to go. I can't wait! When did everyone tell their work? Did you wait a few days incase you get a call. Or did you all tell straight away?

@Pancakes7 I’ve got my 20 week scan on Monday!!!.... I’m a mixture of nerves and excitement!!!
Hope all goes well for everyone else getting scans

Oh wow 20weeks, how exciting. What time is it? You finding out the gender? I've got my dating scan Monday at 9am.

I'm 12 weeks today. 3 days till scan. I'm too excited!!

Wow bet youre soooo excited for your scans ladies 😁