Due May 07 - Thread for w/c 27/11/06

[twelvedaysofchristmas]

Morning.

Message withdrawn

HAIRSPRAY AND SERUM

OK, OK, I know I haven't given birth before and I don't know if it is worse than toothache. My grandmmother told me last week that she doesn't remember even getting a pain.

I am choosing to believe these people and not my best friend who says it was like the number 17 bus running into her fanny at 60mph.

Is fanny still used? Can I say fanny to the midwife and consultant? I can't stop saying it now. Fanny.

i like fanjo myself, MKG would think fanny was bottom i think. Thats what the Americans call it. I got fanjo from on here and norkd actually...it's a whole new language on here!

I find i get all horny when dh isnt here but as soon as he gets in from work im too tired and cant be bothered (says a lot for dh doesnt it!)

OOh LVB&T a young pierce brosnan eh arent you lucky (a bit different from your Ex then ) Have you made him wear his uniform for you yet IYKWIM {wink wink nudge nudge} Another MNer i talk to tries to get her fireman dh to wear his but hes a spoilsport and wont.
Ds1's dad looked like a young Elvis not quite sure who/what dh looks like (shrek sometimes lol)

Norks even...!

Wont do it unless he's in full uniform.....when he finishes this part of his training he gets a sword too.....>

Pinkjenny My friend has likened giving birth to trying to squeeze a melon up your nostril, how she knows what that would feel like i dont know, always have visions of her trying it one night when drunk I would say its like someone giving you a chinese burn down below when the baby's head starts to come out. Hard to describe contractions except they bloody hurt near the end (have i scared you yet? )

It is bad but it cant be that bad, im about to do it for the 5th time!! I quite like the gas and air....

You lot are outrageous. What about a nice cup of horlicks and a pair of fluffy pjamas?

That sounds like fun to me! Isn't dh lucky?

Horliks... Id rather have a f**ck myself.....

Sorry, sorry, sorry, blame pebble she started asking about dh's uniform....

The melon and nostril thing is seriously horrific. And yes, you lot, you have scared me. Mean things.

Its this 'ring of fire' thing that I keep reading about that worries me the most.

Well im on #3 but still cant say i like the whole labour thing. If they could invent a way to have the pregnancy (without ms preferably)and then suddenly go to sleep one night and when you wake up the baby is there (no pain,no operation just magically appear)then i think i would be happy.

Just after posting my last message i looked up and saw Ds2 walking into the room totally starkers When asked where his clothes were he casually pointed to his room and said he didnt like them. I think ive got a naturist on my hands

Bring back the stork then pebble?!

And people keep saying to me, 'Oh, your life is over.' And I'm like, 'oh thanks'.

I mean what do you say to that?

Pebble - loving ds's refusal to wear clothes. Very chippendales.

Life just starting Pink, it's so much fun having kids, they keep you young. Xmas gets all exciting again so do birthdays and Easter. It is the most fabulous thing in the word, you will not believe how much you could love such a tiny bundle when it arrives (not from the stork,lol) Those that make comments like that have no idea, just ignore them and give them a knowing smile

Oh you've all gone quiet now!

Right I'm off. Going to think about rings of fire, melons coming through nostrils and my life apparently being over.

Going to lose myself in Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two, and pretend I am Lilia Kopylova.

Sorry LGVB&T - posted that little rant before I saw your gorge msg. Will now think beautiful (and definitely rose-tinted!) thoughts all evening.

xx

I hate it when people say things like that. Firstly its none of their business and secondly having a baby is just like starting a new chapter in your life. Just because you cant go out at the drop of the hat and your priorities change why do people think its the end of the world. I had ds1 when i was 19 but i dont feel ive missed out on anything. Ive still gone abroad every year and i still have a social life (just nowhere near what it was)and when this little bean is 18 i will still only be 47 so i will still have plenty of time to do what i want, for now the most important thing is that my kids are happy, whats the harm in that.

I always think people that criticise our choices must have really dull lives themselves if they have to pass judgement on every decision we make.

I don't mind the whole labour thing too much, at least it doesn't last 9 agonising months. Yes it hurts but it's gone fairly quickly. dh and I decided the other evening that it would be good to grow baby in a jar on bed side table. Just water it every so often and talk to it a bit. Mind you I rekon a baby in a jar next to your bed glaring at you innocently is far more likely to put you off sex than the thought of poking it in the eye.

Ohhhhh, I neally forgot, you look fantastic by the way lg&t, I hope you enjoyed your day without nappy bag.

I did thank you MereNoel, it was so lovely. Have eaten all but 4 of the donuts now...am trying to save those for breakfast..

When will you touch down on these shores?

Boat get's in about 3pm On Monday. Yipppeeeee. I can't wait. We are so excited about it. Although it will be a very hectic 2 weeks if will be so good to catch up with everyone.

Think I might miss you lovely ladies though.

Wher does the ferry dock?

Just to clear up the fanny business, that is something my dead grandmothers would say. It does mean "ass" I just say ass or butt, usually ass. I think fanjo is my new favorite word by the way. I don't like American slang for vagina because they're all so vulgar (pussy, cunt, twat) writing it makes me cringe. Saying vagina is too clinical, fanjo sounds funny to me.

Just while we're on the subject. I loved giving birth. I loved it. I would do it a million times. You have such a deep connection with your body, and it is so amazing how your body just knows what to do. I'd never pushed a baby out, but my body knew what to do. I didn't think about I just did it. Yeah it hurts, but it's the good kind, where you're scared, amazed, and happy all at the same time.

Sorry lg&t, phoned a friend in the UK and boy can she talk, going to see her next week but she talks and talks, I love her loads but it took me 25minutes to put the phone down after I said for the first time, "right I must go, hun".
Ferry comes in to Dover. Shame it isn't portsmouth we would be knocking on your door for a cuppa. We do Boulougne - Dover, it's the shortest and cheapest way across the channel. On the Vomit Commet though.

Having worked in the Ski Industry, we were horrified to find that about 7 yrs ago they decided to re-name the Bum bag, a Fanny Pack. We didn't sell that many that year but they did give the staff in the shop a few chuckles all season. I am now using fanjo too, it's far less intimate IYKWIM