Summer, summer, summer PESH: Get in your birthing pools, it's going to be a hot one

[LadyGoneGaga]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Casserole, girl born 19th March
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
Scorpette, boy, born 21st May.
Rocketleaf, girl, born 23rd May.

UPDIFFED

Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish).
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Ivegotmrbitey, appears to have eaten posh spice, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, eating for 7, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, suddenly weeble-shaped, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 17th November.

truff Thank you so much for carrying the "vom can" on my behalf. I think that I've got away with it this time. I feel rough, but not disgusting.

LadyG Best of luck today - I hope it all goes well!

Sending loads of good vibes (maaaaaaan) to those about to lay. Thinking of you all loads tho am not around much at the mo. Just cannot keep up with the freds at present!

Am in the middle of fecking nowhere at the mo, just me and the very small person and no car. Have seen not a single human except the baybee since Sunday. Is a bit surreal, but luckily have plenty of food, wine and gin :) And we don't have to worry about anyone else's day so we can live at baby pace. Hence I'm not dressed and am eating biscuits for breakfast :)

And yes I have had a MASSIVE sulk at being so quickly forgotten after literally years of ESH duty [mutley emoticon] [terribly sad face]

Oh, ummm

I s'pose

Good luck LadyG.

Went out for the day yesterday, but came home early due to strange twinges in the fanjo region. Am still full of twinges today, but think the Foxcub is probably just teasing. Going for a walk this morning, possibly followed by a spot of gardening. All good for starting something no?

I can't decide if I am envious of your isolation or terrified. What kind of biscuits, that may help me decide?

Hello! Just checking in to keep up on any cluster lay news............

Meds the list also brought a tear to my eye, thinking of all the baybees we thought we'd never have. I luffs the long list. Now, we just need some more recruits on the updiffed list.

I have just had a delivery of a vay nice bottle of wine as a (slightly) late birthday present. I've been awake for hours with BugBoy, so in my baby world its at least lunchtime - that makes it OK to open wine, non?

Peers up Gin's fanjo with interest.

Ginhag of course we haven't forgotten you. Very jealous of the biscuits however.

Alps glad to hear the vomminess is as yet not so severe as last time. Perhaps you will not be vomiting all over your birthing bed this time.

Not sure what to suggest on the poo front, Bitey. Maybe Caster oil for dual functionality? Poor you, sounds horrid though.

Actually got some common sense today. Hurrah. Growth scan reveals "Micro" G now weighs in at 8lb 12oz. Big but not fearsome. As blood sugars have been fine for last two days after the stress of moving they are going to give me more time to go into labour on my own. Am booked for induction on 24th. I am going for twice weekly monitoring and sweeps starting Friday. If I do go into labour on my own I may even be able to use the pool if blood sugars are ok in labour. Midwife going to ring me this afternoon as not much time to discuss details with the consultants. Send me some natural labour vibes, please.

Excellent news gaga sending you all the low sugar natural labour vibes in the world

Have just drunk a cup of strong coffee, still nothing. Am thinking about setting up a splinter sphincter watching group to keep you all informed!

GG am hugely pleased for you, that is ace news :) I am sending many natural labour vibes in your direction and hope that the pool is an option when things start happening. 8lb12 is definitely not that big for a second baby and MicroG is not likely to pile on that much more before arrival.

Bites Are you vomming because you are so full it is falling out the top end? If so, you have my utmost sympathy as that is hideous. Someone on another fred I am on suggested popcorn and/or sweetcorn. Sometimes I drink warm apple juice, that seems to help but tbh I think I have sub-contracted out the constipation to you as well; I've been generally okay apart from the iron tablet side effects.

Lozza I too luff the epic list of ESHbaybees. It is a testament to how the Daily Fail is shit and wrong and we ancient crones with our Lidl carrier bag wombles can still succeed! Hoorah!

I've been!

It is my last day in the office today, am working at home for the rest of the week. Horrid new boss didn't even come and have any cake even though the cakes were being scoffed right outside her door. Hope she is the next person to use the loo! witch Old colleagues have been luffly and we went for lunch and fussing yesterday. New ones haven't even said good bye, let alone good luck. Don't know what I was expecting actually given the track record. Well actually I was expecting them to at least say good bye and good luck, see you in 12 months

Hello lozenge, have you opened that wine yet? How are you and your beautiful bug?

Gaga that's really positive news - fingers mightily crossed for a natural birth.

bitey was it traumatic? the poo, I mean.

Yay Lady Yay (one for the Bob Dylan fans). So pleased for you :)

That sounds positive, gaga.

Love that you left them a leaving "present", Bitey!

Just popping on to say am keeping an eye out for the cluster lay but no time to post properly as sprout seems to have grasped the day night thing and bern awake all day (not complaining as she slept from 8-5.30 last night!!). Now having managed to get her to nap I sm trying to get loads done including g ferrying quantities of wet washing around various f&f due to broken washing machine.

Great news on getting some common sense finally wrt your labour gaga will be sending easy sneezy intervention freezy vibes your way.

Yey for last day and ginourmopoo bitey (are you synced with sprout?) boo to evil boss and not arsed collegues. Sod em. We heart you muchly.

BB. Sorry about scan delay and Horriblr Hearing. Hope all goes well for both xx

Ps I heart Fink too bitey but my favourite one of his is the one about naughty substances at glasto and thd A&R dude.

GaGa sounds like the best news for a while, amd sending lots of water birth natural type BooWOO vibes your way

Pone it's a pleasure of course. Well, not exactly a pleasure but I see it as doing my bit for the PESH cause if it means you get away with it second time round. I am enjoying the thought of a nubile newly updiffed BESH carrying my vom torch when I'm next in da club, whilst I sit around all day being fanned with palm leaves and fed grapes by half naked David beckham lookalikes. erm, did I go a bit far with the fantasy there? Oh well.

Bitey your new colleagues really do sound like evil incarnate, truly miserable sods. At least the old gang took you to lunch, the very minimum they could do in my opinion! Another Director went on mat leave 2 weeks ago and got a dinner, lunch, speech and brilliant gifts (spensive changing bag wot looks like a nice handbag, baby gym and bouncy chair thing with lights / musak) so am hoping for more of the same when tis my turn.

Macca deep breaths now, don't let it panic you. All the sooner to meet your new baybee

Lovely to see an influx of ESH, I love getting my regular ESH baybee photo fix on face crack and am determined that my child will also be wonderfully displayed in brights and patterns in a variety of lovely poses. Just need to make sure I keep myself out of the pictures as I am pretty sure I will look like the back end of a bus for several months weeks after squeezing a human out of my fanjo.

In the spirit of mean colleagues Bitey my boss said to me today, "you should try to get home early this evening, you look really tired" I did the, no really I'm fine thanks and she replied with "oh you must just need to put some more make up on then" Admittedly I am a bit tired as I worked all over the weekend, am doing very long days and I also have a cold so my skin is a bit shot at the moment but seriously, have you heard of tact????? Another colleague said last week that she thought I seemed like I wasn't 'in the room' (yes, she's that kind of person) during a meeting and thought it was probably because I'm pregnant so am distracted. Fuck me, I've worked 90 hours in the last week - could people maybe give me a break?

Apologies. Rant over.
Here, have some chocolate

Truff and Bites - bollox to all unsympathetic/evil/fuckwitted colleagues. And yay for ML - tis the best, especially on a sunny day (conveniently forgets that can't go outside due to heat and no fitting footwear)

Also, nice touch to block the toilet on your last day Bitey.

LadyG hurrah for your good news - tis definitely about time you got a flippin break.

Rocket still only twinges here, but continue to poke me if you think it will help. Bad luck on the washing machine - how do the feckers know to break at the most inconvenient time, i.e. when you have a small person getting through several costume changes a day.

Think the BESH are planning a cluster-shag, therefore should be cluster-diff news in a few weeks.

macca it was a bit traumatic, think it might have been good practice for the power of breathing techniques! C-section this month?????? Have you a date? How exciting!

Gah! To washing machine fail sprocket Hope the F&Fs are sorting you out?

truff 90 hours is just wrong, wrong, wrong. Maybe that's where I went wrong though? Bet you get a great fuss when you go! Can you puke in her drawer?

GG does this mean that the 24th is the very longest you'll be waiting for your snuffles?

I might actually explode with excitement!!!

Unless I refuse the induction. Or the induction fails or takes ages. Is very exciting! Sweep on Friday which is a first for me.

God, don't send Lady my crap woo for the labour - as we have corresponded regarding that she knows very well it was anything but cangles and whale noises :o

Truff Send your boss over to BESH fight club and we'll duff her head in for you.

Vair excited about all the laying that's going to occur soon.

New fred HERE

Thank Heavens foxy been wracking my brains for summat suitable!

Shall I turn off the lights?