The Deli gets funky: Ah, PESH it good - P-PESH IT REAL GOOD!

[Scorpette]

This fred ain't for everybody - only the menkul wimminz!

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
Casserole, girl born?

UPDIFFED

Scorpette, not top of the list at all, lalala, I can't hear you!, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish).
Rocketleaf, sprouting out all over the place, due 1st June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Ivegotmrbitey, appears to have eaten posh spice, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, eating for 7, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, suddenly weeble-shaped, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 17th November.
kat2504, 25 sticks pissed on and counting, due 5th December.

I forgot to add to the list of 'forgetful' activities. I took off my cardigan yesterday when I got in from the MW and needed it about 15 minutes later when I got cold again. I hunted for ages, getting a bit whiney about not fniding it. Only to realise it was on the back fo the sofa where I was sitting TGB had some fun at that. He is also finding it hilarious to get me into detailed conversations about why I have given up alcohol for Lent whenever we are out with friends, just because he knows I am struggling a bit with all the covering up! He's a right bugger and I'll be glad when we're 'out' so I can stop having to tell white lies. I am Not Good at it and fear I may be found out before long

GG fantastic news about the offer! And now you'll have lots of space for long-legged MoreminiGG to run around in

Truffs I can't believe that a size 16 could be considered obese - ridiculous! you is a gorgeous, if not sickly, PESH and don't you forget it! I have to get the GTT test because it's done by ALL updiffed ones over here - stoopid system. Not looking forward to that at all, especially because my ice-cream based diet isn't going to go in my favour, is it?

Loz That's such a nice gift - you are obviously a top boss (or a very scary one they didn't want to upset). I'd go with the stuff-for-you option, it was your present after all. Right?

Gah * fail.

Truffs I have serious problems with forgetfulness and now have to use a system where I say it out loud when I do things (eg "I've locked the car") and must look like a right nutter. Otherwise it's all just a big blank space in my head.

Truff, I seem to have had every illness going this pg, including scrofula, the bubonic plague, scurvy and prostrate problems BUT my ms did go by wk 13 - possibly to make way for the other probs, haha, but take heart from that :) As for forgetfulness, well, I've gone from having a near-photographic memory to being a drooling inbred over recalling the slightest thing, so no help there.

Loz, defo buy yourself a leedle treat. Or a big treat. I have consistently failed to book myself a massage and couldn't face one now, twat that I am.

Macca, I like the look of those taggies. As for a sling for v hot temps, what about a Baba Sling?

Rocket - SNOG! Flattery will get you everywhere Wanna sex me up under my maternity tarpaulin?

PS The Lad is always at his most active when TYF gets home from work. I hope this isn't a coincidence, cos it's lovely to think he's happy to hear his Daddy's voice :)

Chain is only our buyer, us and our vendor and the house they are buying so relatively short thankfully Rocket. They want to move in about 8 weeks - so will be 34 weeks and def splashing out on movers this time round!

I love stories of baby brain - makes me feel better. I'm terrible - would have some hilarious anecdotes but....have forgotten them

Great news lady I am 34 weeks tomorrow and although I would be up for a house move I certainly wouldn't be doing it myself! I'd start packing now if I were you (especially anything under beds or low down)

macca hmmmm italian goodies are tempting :o esp Panettone, its my favorite.

score thats so sweet about The Lads daddy welcoming activities. TB mentioned the other night that one of the benefits of him reading the hippobirthing script will be that Sprout will associate his voice with being calm and relaxed so hopefully this will continue after she is born. I thought it was very perceptive of him and rather lovely as not something I had thought of, I struggle with the concept that she is aware of what is going on outside my belly. I wonder what she is going to make of the fact he has just bought Singstar for us? :S

Mr Loz can't help talking in a stoopid voice when addressing Bug, so when the baby arrives & Mr Loz talks normally I'm sure Bug will look at him all confused wondering who the fuck he is . Also Mr Loz has been having stern words with Bug to move from breech, so I reckon he's already carved out the Bad Cop role.

So, today I have an appointment to hopefully have my second head offending head mole removed. I have a bad feeling he won't due it due to diffment, cue major tantrum. Apparently the guy is an Abba singing loon who warned my mum about her head smelling like a BBQ when she had a mole removed. Happy days!

I'm in real countdown to holiday maternity leave mode now - bucks fizz & croissants for breakfast anyone?

Am waiting to see how BirthdayBitey 's cake turns out; I burnt mine horribly.

Lozzer I asked the doc about a couple of moles yesterday; she says wait until postnatal. V.annoying, hope they don't tell you the same.

Booty Happy Birthday! 35 BAH! So young, so young

I do have a feeling that's what they're going to tell me about mole............

Hello Hags! Happy Birthday owlie! My cake is the oven please wish it kindly rising thoughts.

The FDH has not forgotten my birthday but is in work so I am home alone with a stack of pressies. It would be bad form to open them wouldn't it? I have also had a birthday dance from bitey bach while in the bath so saw my belly wriggling independently of me for the first time. Was vay funny if a little disconcerting.

My lovely mummy bought me the humming bird bakery cook book, I am supposed to be working at home but have been dribbling over the pictures of cakes instead. There is one called the triple layer salty caramel sticky chocolate cake that I am very keen to make and then roll in nekkid

Good luck at the dermo loz I had one removed my head and BBQ is a most apt desciption

Oooh. I have that cooking book, I made my wedding cakes from it. The pages are now stuck together with a combination of butter icing and dribble. The birthday dance sounds ace; I have had nothing of the sort, bah

I did get breakfast in bed and my packed lunch made for me though which was v.nice.

I've had two moles removed before and the doc just gave me a local and chopped them off then bunged in a couple of stitches. I took the stitches out myself. I guess they couldn't do that on your head though, it might be messy.

Happy birthday, luffly Birthday Girls!!!

Hope neither of you is working today

That cake sounds amaze. Can one of you pliz to bake it and send me one? I went through a big baking period last time on maternity so hopefully will do so again.

Owlie I feel your cake pain. My oven is hotter than the sun also. And also fuses the house every time you switch it off. Not sorry to leave it behind...especially as am getting a nice double oven range style thingy. (All I ever dreamed of, saddo)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Booty, you young whippersnapper! Seeing as Loz has snaffled all the cheese 'n' pineapple, when are you bringing out the jelly and ice-cream? Hope you have a fab day, my lovely :)

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Bitey too - I dunno how you're resisting that pile of pressies - surely it wouldn't hurt to open a few leedle ones? Hope you have a fab day too :) TYF has that cook book - the black bottom cupcakes are a real fave with everyone who's tried them. It's a really good book and the pics are total foodie-porn!

Is nice to share an ESH birthday. I share mine with the Goddess Lyra. Can't wait until she's over here too

What's that over there, Loz?

Bitey Happy Birthday to you too!! Chocolate crispie cakes, don't mind if I do............

Lovely to have a birthday dance from Biteybach. Seeing your tummy with a life of its own is uber strange, non?

LadyG I have double oven envy - how fantabulous!

x-posts Scorps I never knew of this novelty mole until I had the hairdresser incident. Now it seems to have taken over & is HOOGE! Thankfully tis on the back of my head under loads of thick hair.

I like Crone's Corner I SAID I LIKE CRONE'S CORNER . Fancy a Werthers?

I am still deaf in my right ear from that migraine months ago so you need to bellow down my ear trumpet, lovey Will the mole stop you dying your hair its usual lilac shade? Eeeeeh, youngsters today (and so on).

I can hardly walk, can't remember anything and need a wee all the bloody time - I'm having to put a worrying small amount of effort into this 'pretending to be an old lady' lark!

I haven't dyed my hair since Jan The plan was lovely new haircut, then dye it...... my mum told me not to dye hair when she saw this, this thing. Now my roots are coming through in their full on sludge brown with a hint of white glory. Shattering the yooful illusion of my usual sunkissed locks.

That must've been some migraine Scorps Is your hearing likely to come back?

Well, they said it might take a few weeks to return, but it's been @ 2 months now and it's just as bad, so they just dunno. All they'll give me is olive oil drops, which are about as much use as a plaster for a broken leg What makes it worse is that TYF is incredibly quietly-spoken so I have to ask him to repeat everything he says!

Gradual Deafness runs on my Dad's side and I already knew (tests, etc.) that I'd start to go slowly deaf from my 50s onwards, which I accept, but this has really pissed me off. I keep interrupting people and getting the wrong end of the stick, because I can't always tell what they're saying or if they've finished I now feel v guilty for all the times I've got annoyed with Dad for not hearing stuff, ooops.

I haven't dyed my hair for the whole pg. I'm very salt and pepper at the front and it's going wiry-witch-tastic!

Happy birthday to the luffly owlie and bitey! Pliz to have <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.it/imgres?imgurl=www.fr2day.com/images/page_image/dom_perignon_2000.jpg&imgrefurl=www.fr2day.com/food/minted_six_of_the_best_champagnes_for_the_cannes_film_festival_and_the_monaco_grand_prix&usg=__QNHgV5VHKO98WD2wFpmuTQYUN0g=&h=400&w=318&sz=99&hl=it&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=8ivfwjqJcqtkyM:&tbnh=158&tbnw=130&ei=W3StTfCSHY-gOumeiawM&prev=/search%3Fq%3Ddon%2Bperignon%2Bvintage%2B2000%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dit%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D608%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=414&oei=W3StTfCSHY-gOumeiawM&page=1&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0&tx=61&ty=75" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this and <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.it/imgres?imgurl=www.igourmet.com/images/topics/brie.jpg&imgrefurl=ricetteblog.girlpower.it/ricette-italiane/torta-salata-brie-speck/&usg=__5_LKb0sFwYqthdoK3y1VWNn4q0U=&h=247&w=500&sz=89&hl=it&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=56yesTwlIuFm2M:&tbnh=94&tbnw=190&ei=oXStTeqKGY-dOu7VlP0N&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dbrie%26um%3D1%26hl%3Dit%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D608%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=501&oei=oXStTeqKGY-dOu7VlP0N&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:0&tx=102&ty=76" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this and a big snog

loz I think you have this maternity lark down to a tee! Hope the hidden twin mole gets sorted today.

Rocket I don't know if I can get panettone at this time of year (it's Christmas cake) but can get the Easter version (basically the same). Is lovely done in a bread and butter pudding Just say the word - cash is always an option!

scorps thanks for the sling link - am looking at the mai-tai more because they seem to let a bit of air at the baby but am wondering how teeny-tiny one will not fall out. Not sure if right for newborn either. Am v .

I is 'on holiday'. i.e. lazing at home while daughter is at nursery

Scorps YOU'LL BE GOING IN FOR A TOTAL OVERHAUL AFTER THIS PREGNANCY BY THE SOUNDS OF THINGS. As for hair, I get highlights done 'cos they don't touch the scalp. Don't have gray hairs yet but some Italian woman would probably slap me for having bad hair if I didn't get them done occasionally

THANKS, MACCA! (cheeky git!) I don't actually mind my encroaching silvery hairs too much. My Mum has lovely silver hair and has never bothered dying it and I guess I'm taking after her about not caring. I do style my hair nicely, etc. (as well as you can when you have Captain Cavemaaaaan hair).

I do intend to have a massive pampering spa day in the near future when I can bear to leave The Lad with someone else for a few hours :)

It must be hard work at times living in Italy, cos I know being high maintenance is de rigeur at all times there. Do you sometimes wish you could just go out like Waynetta Slob just to shock them all?
I have French blood and feel the need to be quite well-dressed (think fashionable, not stuffy) when out and about - I don't really wear jeans and t-shirts, for example - so am going to have find a whole new way of dressing when being a (hopefully) BFing Mum!

Macarooni I have a Babyhawk sling which is a Mei Tai. It can be used for newborns but I felt she got a bit lost in it.

Well the other cake I made seems to have mostly disappeared from my office - this is good news, it can't have been that inedible.

GG I long for a massive range cooker with 5 burners on top. I am so very, very middle-aged.

Scorps I hate to add yet another differ's woe to your vast epic heap of diffular woeness, but pregnancy can cause temporary deafness - I know someone who ended up with grommits and then hearing aids because of it. It usually goes away afterwards but if you're struggling at the moment tis worth mentioning to MW/GP? An audiologist would be able to tell you what was going on in there.

Just popping in to say the Mai Tei is perfecto for newborns Macaroni. We have one for the lad and have used it since he was 3 weeks....and no, he hasn't fallen out.

Boxer is your expert on how to tie the things - we are going to video diff. techniques tomorrow if you need to see how it's done.