The PESH deli: Beware the Peshes of March

[Medee]

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb

UPDIFFED

Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Medee, freaking out at being second on the list, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, thinking of displaying her enorma-bump at freak shows, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, Has lost her waist, due 24 July
Ivegotmrbitey, Marmite is a lovely name for a baybee, due 27th July.
Milanomum, showing it off, due Aug 6th
Owlbooty, still can't stop belching, due 7th August
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn

I am sleeping in the spare room quite a lot score it really helps getting the zzzzzs. I just get too hot in bed with the FDH. It is for this resaon and this reason alone (and not because I am deeply unfriendly and no fun) that I can be sure there will no houseguests at chez bitten on the 27th!

I have been using the oral prostaglandins excuse since diffment ie 'oh sorry FDH it may bring on early labour so I can't be doing that'. But I am mean like that

If you have to suffer, why shouldn't he, eh, Bitingtons?

Was just reading online news - Posh Spice is having a girl and the DD is same as yours, 27th July. I can guarantee that all my excitement will be reserved for YOU!

PS re: bed/sofa: Laying on either side is agony and I can only lie propped up on sofa, which helps. Cos of weird bed/wall placement in bedroom, this is impossible in there. Am so glad we opted for a big, plumptious sofa (although I have to dangle one foot off it and bend one knee or bend both knees to fit on)!

FFS, you can't even tell she (Posh) is frigging pregnant. I'm like a barrage balloon. Knew this would happen. How's it going to look in Heat magazine?

Bitey have been looking back over my preggo notes from last time - my fundus was on the 95th centile. He arrived promptly (went into labour on due date) and was 8lb2oz so not eye wateringly ginormo at all. Also two midwifes will measure you completely differently (I leapt from 50th to 95th on changing surgeries). So don't worry about it.

We have no spare room either - but I only spend half the night in bed with MrG. The other half is crammed into MiniG's single with him. But guess where I sleep the best?

There has been no prostaglandin application here, orally or otherwise since conception . Poor MrG, but just not in da mood. Is good practise for him for after the birth.

Am exciting about MiniMed's manouvring. Hopefully soon

I look nothing like this, actually I do. I look like have eaten her. Where is her baybee????

I hate posh.

I too do not exactly fall into the nymph-like category of differs.

I would like Teh Secks but can't think of any position that would work - too big for any variation on missionary position, there's no way on earth me on top is happening ( ever again) with these stretchmarks - also I don't want to crush TYF to death - spooning is a no-no cos of my hip pain and anything from behind would feel far too humiliating at this size (also I can't get on my hands on knees cos of my bloated trotters, not even on a bed).

TMI? I care not.

Meh, we've done it once. I count that as enough. I wouldn't be with someone who was going to be mardy about not getting their rocks off when I'm pg and feeling crappy.

She looks in want of a good meal. Are we sure she hasn't paid a surrogate?

I made lasagna yesterday for cooking today including pork, beef and streaky bacon. With lots of parmesan and bechamel sauce. Is sitting in fridge waiting to be put in oven tonight. With extra garlic bread. Posh is welcome to come around but only if she has a good portion and lays off the salad.

Excellent news on the Bitelet :)

Owlet behaved during scan although was super-fidgety. He is, apparently, all normal. Phew. He is also definitely a he :)

Let Operation Teeny-Tiny-Sock Purchasing commence!

Posh Spice can eat my trousers. She bloody needs to eat something. Maybe I could cover the trousers in chocolate and lard first.

Scorps up against a wall? No? Don't blame you.

Whoop for little Owlet! Baby boys are fab (am sure baby girls are too but haven't had one of those yet)

Glad it went well owly, hooray for little boys. Little boys are great. But so are little girls.

Sex while heavily pregnant is just funny. It's very hard to find it at all sexy when every position you try fails. I say have a cup of tea instead.

yeyeyey about minibitesized and boyowl!
Owlie get thee a Mr T tee! Fantastic news! I was in the park this aft and there was a wee boy (15 mnths) who I wanted to take home. Just this wee, solid BOY .

LGG and Scorps I can't be arsed with the sechs either even though I know I should be making the most of it. Plus I'd probably fall asleep in the middle.

I don't know how Posh even got pregnant considering she's a size -3. And those heels...!?

we've managed to keep having sex, but not much more frequently than once a month, approximately. A bit more cumbersome, and less position changing, but possible.

Hurrah for Owlet!

Gorgeous news owlie! How many socks have you bought now?

scorps you on top, him blindfolded?

Huzzah for BootyBoy! Another exhibitionist, eh? Glad he's perfick

TYF is nearly a foot taller than me so sweet monkey lovin' stood up ain't happening whether I'm pg or not!

I don't mind funny (ha ha) sex but when it evolves into a farce then that's going too far even for us

Also, I don't like going on top. Never have, never will. Just doesn't work for me (which is all that matters, right? ).

of Medee and your regular secks life. And your neat bump. Hmmph (not really - pleased for you).

Whoop whoop for a blueowelet!! Lovely news booty and another ESH offspring suitor for my ickle princess into the bargain although if she takes after me he will be too old :o i would recommend these but again very at them for being 'boys' socks, pfft.

We had the sechs at the weekend for the first time in AGES it was erm, rather explosive, have to say! I think we have averaged about twice a trimester so far but I must say I might be persuaded to be bothered a bit more often after that one. score how about reverse cowgirl? I am sure you wouldn't actually snap TYF

Also can we please not mention That Woman, you know, the one that permanently has a look on her face that looks like my cats arse? K thanks.

I appreciate position tips but I have gone from being a hypermobile ex-dancer pre-pg to a groaning, shuffling manatee who can't get out of chairs without help (have to hold onto the coffee table when on my own or use the door handle in the bathroom!) or put her own shoes on. My size, pelvic pain, tiredness and fat feet are precluding even the most rudimentary of every day activities neve rmind sexy times! If I can't lie on my back and do zero work, it is NOT happening! And poor old TYF knows I'm in pain nearly all the time (headaches, hips, etc.) and can't get turned on knowing that I'm suffering even if I'm also enjoying myself, if ya get me.

I'm not that bothered, actually. We cuddle and kiss loads every night, which is lush.

score sweetie I was only joking!! Of course you shouldn't do it if you don't fancy it. It most certainly isn't the be all and end all and cuddles and kissed are the most lovely thing in the world!! I could most definitely go without sexy times but not without cuddles. I think we are all lucky to be with men that don't assume one should always lead to t'other iyswim.

I conclude that 'her with the cats mouth' is fibbing about being PG, and that she has actually paid a surrogate. She is about the same stage as me and I certainly look way more diffed and porky. There is no mistaking it. In fact, I look more diffed than her now, even when I'm not diffed. I think she needs to take you up on the offer of that delish sounding lasagne LGG- in fact, I think we all should!

Absolutely brilliant news on the wee man Owlie. Get thee to a sock shop and get buying!!! Am currently listening to Mr and mini O laughing their heads off upstairs before bath - 'tis fab

Sorry, Rocket, was feeling a bit mardy about the subject. Have moved into the 'okay, being this size is RIDICULOUS!' zone now and want my body back (once it's safe and right for The Lad to pop out, obvy. 'Pop out' - ha!).

Skeleton Spice is vile. I know skinny wimminz wot are or have been pg and they look it. Their bumps might be a bit smaller cos there's no gut on top of the baby, but there's still no mistaking they're pg. Hell, my Ma has always been a teeny-tiny bird of a woman but she was a right heffalump when knocked up.

I can't believe no medical professional has told her she radically needs to put on weight. She weighs summat like 7 stone, which would be underweight for my Mum! Or perhaps they have and she's ignored them. It can't be good for a baby for the mum to be that scrawny and not eating enough You can tell when people are naturally thin - unlike her, they look good and healthy, like Mum, TYF or our own lovely ginhag.

Congratulations on the boy flavour Booty! Get thee to the shops>

Thanks for the luffly comments on BB's name. Not nosy at all Biteme, glad you like. I also like Robin (Robyn), bird names are cool.

Aw scorps you do what makes you happy and comfortable. I am having to peel the cuddlesome FDH off at night because I am getting so blinking hot. His keeness for a cwtch is one of my fave things about him but going to have to spend a night in an air conditioned hotel soon just to have a long cuddle!

I am delighted to be diffed but the changes to your body are so wide ranging and beyond the bump. I just never expected it to have an impact on every part of my body. I just keep reminding myself that this pass and my arse will return to it's former glory!

Had a moment of worry earlier that David Beckham was going to arrive at the hospital and try to buy our baybee on posh's so called due date. That probably won't happen will it?

Shit, we hadn't thought of that - Bitey, I think you need to hire the services of a private security firm! If you DO lay on the same day as her, why not give your baby a really tacky name like they inevitably will? What about... Montego? Electra? Sapphire?

You're spot-on about the overall weirdness of pg - is so wonderful to be With Child but you just can't imagine how all-encompassing the changes are until it's happening, can you?

OBEM tonight apparently features a lady with the opposite prob to Posh - she's so, ahem, Rubenesque, that it'll cause difficulties. And there's a woman with an enormo-baby. Have my legs crossed already for that one!

PS I have just taken TYF a plate of crispy roast chicken skin whilst he kills monsters on the PS3. I am, apparently, 'The Best'

Ah hahaha Raymond Blanc just said mahoosive and now twitter is a light with it. TB and I are in hysterics!!!

score not to worry. It's a bit of an emotive subject innit.

Anyone watching OBEM?