The PESH deli – how extraorder, we're all in pig

[Muser]

We smacked our ovaries and sent them to Madame Bovary, and now we're in pig. MSDP ends here, just waiting for the MAD lot to join us.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July
Carrots, boy, born July
IggyPiggy, girl, born July

UPDIFFED
Cosmosis, the baybee that is never going to come out, due August 22
backinthebox, thinking of inventive uses for courgettes, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September 1
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
ChoChoSan "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb" due 31 January
CluckyKate, hatching an egg - due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science - due February 24
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, I threw up behind a tree - due February 27
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole living on hula hoops - due April 10
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not

I was sooooooo excited when I first went to the duo shop in bath. Thought the various leg widths things would be great. However, it was the same for me as buying boots always is...not a single fucking pair fitted properly [golfclub emoticon]

Re maternity wear. Sounds like I am going to have to admit that I look ridiculous as my clothes really don't fit, and actually go out and buy something.

Go by clothes gin. I am wearing maternity jeans today and they are staying up so much better than a few weeks ago. I am also wearing a stretchy, tight long top. I caught a sideways glimpse of me in the mirror and I look mahoosive. Bump out to here, bum out to there. Weeble.

I've been going by the fact that I can still pretty much get into stuff...but getting into stuff is not the same as it actually fitting, and am looking dafter by the day

cho is a SW London you live? If so I can nose round your gaff drop them off sometime if you like.

Morning all! Anyone got any more tips on dealing with The Nips of Satan? I need to get out and do lots of stuff but my nips are so fucking painful that I'm actually sat here wiv me titz aaaht because clothes are too painful on them! Guess I will just have to woman up and try not to weep in public (although seeing as the nips are going to blind everyone who walks within 50 yards of me, no-one would see my crying).

Am jellus of peeps feeling baby moving and getting preggo gear Is pretty boring feeling so rank but nothing visible going on or nothing major to feel (although all the most drastic stuff is actually going on right now). Although I'll no doubt be moaning about feeling massive and hating maternity wear when I get there. Jebus wants me for a sunbeam

Cramps now only exclusively on the left. Veer between worrying and telling myself not to be an idiot. Now have lower backache on the left only too. Come on body, stop being weird!

Blimey - this fred is moving so fast I can barely keep up!!!

Scorps - was it you asking where to shop for fat people maternity clothes. JoJo Maman Bebe gets the big thumbs-up from me .
For all the tall laydeez I has found tights that fit - Emma Jane (I think). Got them in JoJos & the crotch stays firmly where it shoud - hooray!!!

The movement is lovely innit Cho, nice & gentle. Don't be jealous tho guys - it'll soon change into socking great thumps & kicks. Cake for brekkie get my approval

Tommy Tippee gel cooling breast pads scorp - they stick yr nips down so there is no friction. Should be available at supermarket or Boots. Take a fiver with you.

Top Tip(pee), Cunty! I shall stagger into the mum & baby section of Boots screeching 'SORT ME TITS OUT!'

CluckingHell, I don't need maternity togs yet (6 wks!), ta. Although I do recall moaning about the lack of fashiony ones the other week. JJMB is too smart and grown-up for me, I'm afraid (I just look like a child playing dress-up if I try to look remotely smart). Even TopShops Maternity wear is boring. I shall have to go to vintage places and buy hefty-sized retro frocks and look like some sort of (much, much smaller!) wrong Beth Ditto. And stop kidding myself that I am the fashion editor of Elle. And where can you buy groovy preggy tights from? I cannot be expected to wear plain black for months! I can handle the nausea, the agony-norks, the cramping, the needing a wazz every 5 mins, the enfattening, all of that, but please, I beseech the universe, do not take away my funky hosiery! O, the humanity!

I can do you purple, blue and mustard Scorps. www.tightsplease.co.uk/tights/size/maternity-tights

I reckon some of the JoJoMamanBebe stuff would look fab on you actually. The knitted dress with some funky tights www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/sp+Perfect-Knitted-Dresses+B4117 or the chocolate cord skirt with a bright jumper and funky tights. www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/sp+Chocolate-Cord-Skirt+A9839 Would be tres cool.

The cord skirt isn't my thang but I like the dress in grey with some groovy tights, yes please! Good prices, too. Cheers, matey! :) I don't wear jeans a lot but am going to have to get some maternity ones. Toppers will sort me out with that. Must confess, I looked round JJMB and didn't like anything else apart from that dress and some of the jeans.

THIS is the sort of thing I usually wear. Bit retro, bit 60s.

I'm really getting my priorities straight, aren't I? Perhaps pregnancy and motherhood will cure my fash obsession

trackie bottoms will be your bezzie mates scorp, just you wait and see. Summat loose to fit your maternity sanny mattress in

I bought some stretch maternity trousers from Dorothy Perkins yesterday. They are the comfiest thing EVAH and I don't plan to take them off for the next 3 months

I have a question regarding pain, who is around purleeeeease?

My mind is incapable of recognising these 'trackie bottoms' of which you speak, Cunty. I believe you are inventing them for the purposes of mocking me.

I am also sticking my fingers in my ears and going 'LALALA' at the mention of 'maternity sanny mattress'. Do you get period pains with the post-partum bleeding?

I'm around, not sure I know enough though...

I didn't scorps but then I don't generally suffer anyways....

gin I is here... can I assist?

Yeah me neither mrsfc despite having done this before! am just trying to remember/get others thoughts on whether a specific type of pain is within the realms of normal or 'panic and run around'. I'm thinking the former, but it's a bit odd.

very sharp pain, low down on right. Only every now and then, can't see an obvious cause in anything I'm doing. Sharp enough to make me go 'oooch' and breathe in. I don't have a really low pain threshold or anything and this doesn't seem entirely familiar...

Have sat on arse for 5 mins and it feels fine....

more detail?

Isn't this ligament pain? I think drom had it. Hold on, I'll google...

X-post. And bastard thread gonna run out. Cuntflaps.

Oh i got that. I assumed it was ligaments.

I thought perhaps my baybee has a flick knife.

Does this sound like it?

www.babycenter.com/0_round-ligament-pain_205.bc

Does walking across the room count as sudden movement? If so, maybe. I've had ligament pain before, just don't remember it feeling quite so, well, painful...

Sorry I done broke the fred.