The PESH deli – how extraorder, we're all in pig

[Muser]

We smacked our ovaries and sent them to Madame Bovary, and now we're in pig. MSDP ends here, just waiting for the MAD lot to join us.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July
Carrots, boy, born July
IggyPiggy, girl, born July

UPDIFFED
Cosmosis, the baybee that is never going to come out, due August 22
backinthebox, thinking of inventive uses for courgettes, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September 1
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
ChoChoSan "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb" due 31 January
CluckyKate, hatching an egg - due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science - due February 24
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, I threw up behind a tree - due February 27
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole living on hula hoops - due April 10
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not

Here's some bloody rocks for ya! Happy NOW?????!!!!!

You lot need to give VAG a deft kick in to FESH - she's quite clearly loitering.

At least it appears that she has accepted the fact she's pregnant eh?

VAG Will you please get a shift on. I'd like some good news. Thanking you pliz.

Just to add to the debate I'm a real magpie & love sparkly jewellery of the proper bling & costume type. It doesn't have a size label on it, doesn't get tight if I eat a bar of whole nut, doesn't fade in the wash if I wear it too much - great. Thankfully the boyf is happy to oblige & prove his love buy me lots of shiny things.

However, I also love cheese, & it caused much amusement amongst friends when he bought me a lovely strong cheese & I was muchos pleased & excited with that.

I'm baaaacck!!!

Got home yesterday & been in a bit of a whirl of strewing crap all over the floor unpacking, eating cheese, marvelling at how really very fucking small our house is, eating smoked salmon bagels, failing to find the keys to our loft (where all our worldly goods live), gawping in wonder in the supermarket, etc...

Went to the docs yesterday to book in (pointed to 28 week belly & said 'err, I think I might be pregnant....') and have appointments to see hospital & midwife in the next couple of weeks. Expecting it all to start to feel a bit more real now - denial has worked quite well when you're living a long way from where you're having the baby so really can't to do/buy/think about anything baby-related. However, I think the first stroke of reality that is going to hit is 'how the fuck are we going to get three people and all their associated crap in this house???'.....

Pliz to share a bit of PESH rage with me... Was on the flight back & had a glass of red wine with my dinner. Almost immediately the stewardess came over & asked why I was drinking when I was pregnant. I gave her my best death stare and said it was fine to have a glass of wine occasionally, but she told me no, I was wrong and I shouldn't be drinking. I kept on with the 'it's really not your business and I'm really not interested in your opinion on the matter' (with deathstare) but she fucking persisted to berate me. I was (and still am) so fucking mad, judgmental interfering bitch. Complained via their website as soon as I got back, but it's one of those feedback forms that goes into the ether never to be seen again. Anyone got any burning torches handy....?

Ooh, and congrats to Cosmosis and the recently-turned FESHes. Looking forward to being able to keep up with the chat now.....

Cheese is the best mas and laur!

mas welcome home! (do I remember correctly that home for you is very central?) And congratulations on being the PESH to finally get a rise out of someone by drinking booze! We've all been trying it to no avail. Very annoying woman, I am sure, but top effort on your part

maswera Name and shame - we'll do an ESH boycott.

Welcome home - very exciting for you I'm sure.

You should've told the cocking twat that you'd just spent 3 years living in godknowswhere and not killed the baybee - a glass of wine would have to be pretty fucking potent!

mas Was she american? The yanks can have some awfully judgey pants wrt drinking during pregnancy. A friend gave me a very stern lecture (I rolled my eyes) about even one-glass-of-wine. This coming from an ex-smackhead who likes a toke or two...

As curly says though, MASSIVE congratulations - we've all tried and failed. Me, cossie & carrots ordered cocktails in a bar (repeatedly) and failed to raise an eyebrow. :( We were all 20 weeks + at the time so there was no mistaking our condition.

Have fun today ski. PLease misbehave enough for me too.

I don't think it'll be too bad curly - well, not her anyway! She says she doesn't want to get too pissed because she's scared of dropping & breaking the baybee. I haven't dropped Bear yet - although in my paranoia I won't sleep next to him when I've been drinking.

I'm quite excited - there's a massive sale today - akin to a Debenhams blue cross day. I will no doubt arrive home with armfulls of tat haha. Sephora is having a sale too! [clown face emoticon]

Twas Ethiopian Airlines. Should I start a Mumsnet smear campaign?!

Troo - I have spent 6 months in a highly malarious area (without any preggo-friendly anti-malarials), ate runny eggs from feral chickens, failed to take any preggo vitamins, drank forrin gin... and still haven't killed my baybee...

Thanks for the welcomes back. I think it will take a bit of settling back in - some things are great, but it does all feel a bit strange and not-quite-right... Am v glad to be coming back preggo as that means it doesn't feel like I've gone back two years...

Curly - where-I'm-from home is v central, but where-I-live home is all a bit more scally

Stupid stewardess. I wonder what would have happened if you'd fixed her with a death stare and said "I'm not pregnant."

Hahaha! She was so judgmental she probably would have started lecturing me on why I should have kids by now - time's running out y'know, etc....

Casserole that is the funniest thing. I've never done that of course...

Scorps don't worry it isn't proof of lurve, just makes sure he can't run away quickly. :)

I would give my rings away in a heartbeat if I honestly had to (honest) but of course they are lovely to have and I'd be lying if I said otherwise. And anyway he got a fk off watch. I don't have an issue with traditional conventions quite clearly. It doesn't piss me off that mr moo's cooking is shite and he never puts any loo roll in the loo. We're better at different things but we love each other equally and make effort in different ways. I'm a bit sceptical of everything can be half and half cos men and women are completely different but as long as you're both in it 100% that's ok by me. (She says hoping that he will learn to cook and clean in approximately 5 weeks time).

MAS IS BACK Hello, lovely! Glad to hear you're safely back in the country, sorry about the evil stewardess of doom. Is amazing the extent to which one becomes public property while pregnant.

Love Muse's idea, may well try that.

I used to read threads about people being upset by comments on their size with a smug sense of "I'll just be so happy to be pregnant that I WON'T CARE". Nope, that's not true, apparently.

Fanks drom Glad all is well with you. Have you decided on your holibobs? Personally I didn't mind the heat so much (was in ~30 degrees up to 28 weeks), but tbh the long haul flight wasn't much fun - we managed to blag business class but I was still pretty darn uncomfortable...

Cunty you got flowers?!?! I didn't get flowers . The ring came well afer the event, so far in fact that you could argue it has no connection to the birth of mini cokie at all! He reckons 1 ring covers both children! My rings are really about the only jewellery I wear and I love them. However I do agree that they are not entirely a sign of love, it is the kind gestures and words that mean far more - a lie in at the weekend or dinner cooked for me, or a return home from work early to help 8 month preggo wife with bath time, those kind of things which mean so much but which we often take for granted. A ring or 2 just seals it all and it is a permanent thing on my figure which I love wearing and looking at.

Mas welcome back! I would have poured the glass of wine over the cow and then asked for another. Cheeky biatch. Reminds me of the scornful looks I got when ordering a coffee in the States first time around.

Gin 11 weeks I was in maternity clothes (versus 18 weeks 1st time round

Practical q - I got all the preggo bumf from the doc yesterday - including an 'emma's diary' which offers all kinds of free gift packs... Are any of them worth sending off for, or are they all just full of adverts that will just send me junk mail shite for the rest of my life....?

mas I think I sent it off and got a few free things. I don't feel inundated with crap. I even think some of the leaflets were pretty interesting.

just take the leaflet to Argos and get a bag of half useful, half junk. Includes leaflet for another bag later on. I got juice, tea bag, stretch mark cream, breast pads, sudocrem and LOTS of leaflets, I think.

Just cleared out Rastus's wardrobe - have so so much stuff he has grown out of some not even worn more than once

So any advice cunty for the tightwads amongst us on what not to buy too much of...? Or is it all stuff other people buy you?

I have been told not to bother with anything but babygros/sleepsuits (not entirely sure if they're different) and cardigans to start with. Little outfits being cute but a pain to put on and very quickly outgrown. I am expecting many cast offs from Bob's cousins so will hopefully not have much to pay out on. And no, I don't care if I get a girl and she ends up wearing all boys clothes. Ha.

mas Don't buy "newborn" outfits - you'll be too shit scared of breaking bones to put them on the baybee at first. After a month or so you'll be swinging them by their little arms etc.

Where will the baby be sleeping? E.g., Bear is always with us - either in the bedroom or living room - so a baby monitor was surplus to requirements.

I wish I'd not bothered with the Moses basket as he went straight in the cot.

We got given suitcases full of clothes from flying-in grannies... but [ungrateful emoticon] - lots of people tried to be helpful by buying the "next size up" - although not too sure how practical shorts will be here when it's minus 20 in February... I've just had a bit of an ebay frenzy - spent about 100 quid - all BNWT and he's good until about early-summer next year. This will not stop me buying new stuff anyway obv.

still lots of girly clothes offered from this end.

contrary to ski, we have had loads of use from moses basket, mainly due to our travels.

only buy a few essential bits of clothing - or size of baby & level of generosity of others will get you. Like cunty we have some lovely things worn just the once. And would have had loads more had she not come so early.