The PESH deli – how extraorder, we're all in pig

[Muser]

We smacked our ovaries and sent them to Madame Bovary, and now we're in pig. MSDP ends here, just waiting for the MAD lot to join us.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July
Carrots, boy, born July
IggyPiggy, girl, born July

UPDIFFED
Cosmosis, the baybee that is never going to come out, due August 22
backinthebox, thinking of inventive uses for courgettes, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September 1
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
ChoChoSan "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb" due 31 January
CluckyKate, hatching an egg - due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science - due February 24
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, I threw up behind a tree - due February 27
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole living on hula hoops - due April 10
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not

The poo song is really not that good chaps. It is when mooch is strutting his stuff, but I have no youtubage.

Yay to blokes cooking dinner after slogging their guts out. Mr gin doing same :)

MrM says he bought me an engagement ring because yes, it is a social convention. However, social conventions are what you make of them. It doesn't have to be about "I have bought and paid for you" like in ye olden dayes. For him it was about loving me and wanting to spend forever with me and have babies with me. And the ring was a symbol of that.

Of course the ring is not necessary. But for all we might dislike the roots of some of these social conventions, they do have a great deal of power in them. The ring could have been a £10 plastic flower ring from Accessorize. Would have meant the same to me. I don't think we're bad people for liking a bit of conventionalism. I had a big conventional wedding as well. It meant a lot to me to stand up in front of people I loved and tell them I was going to make a life with this man. Might not be necessary for some people, but for me it had meaning. And that meaning was not about me being a bit of chattel.

I don't want to throw away every tradition because it's got a shitty background. I like tradition. If the meaning of it can change to remove the shittiness then all to the good.

cunty - the FC is the Fat Controller - nothing more exciting I'm afraid, but he is a bit podgy & likes to be in charge!

The blingy diamond issue - I'm unfortunately a very shallow being and love shiney things. My feet are too big for anything other than Evans shoes and I'm too fat and tall for designer clothes, but like Mr & Mrs Muse we like a gadget, and not too long ago I was skint & couldn't afford anything, so I completely appreciate all that I have. Although this could all change if the FC doesn't find another job!

I have raised the baby diamond issue, and was given a face in response... That told me!

I have cheap freebie make up from a journo friend of mine...

I go and sit in my ensuite sometimes because the halogen spotlights in there make my 13 diamonds (1 in my engagement ring, 12 in my eternity ring) even more extra specially sparkly.

Does that help this important debate?

You are so much more loved than me

Oh, I actually agree with you, Muse - all I meant was that expensive jewellery isn't proof of love. I felt there was a suggestion that men who don't buy stuff like that don't really love their partners (am v hormonal at the mo, so sorry if it was a joke!). There's nothing wrong with tradition and convention and the very genuine and joyful meaning that people get from those. After all, if they weren't so powerful and lovely they wouldn't still be so popular!

Feeling sensitive cos there is an inference in society that people, like me and TYF, who don't derive that much meaning from traditional shows of love, don't love each other as much or have as much meaning to our relationship. I don't like the fact that these things are seen as the only way to prove meaning and dedication. There's more than one way to be romantic and committed. Me and TYF are sickeningly in lurve and devoted but neither of us are bothered about stuff like rings and ceremonies. Neither of us have parents who were/are bothered about things like that, so that's probably why we're this way.

We're not against tradition totally; we'll probably get married after the baby comes, but it'll be a small, private thing, no big expense and no name-changing (or we might both start using both surnames). That's our brand of meaning and romance. Doesn't mean it's the right way to do it or the wrong way. And I'm going to be a SAHM, which many here might find unpalatably old-fashioned and traditional. Each to their own!

Awww, he's making an apple pie now and shouting out how to do it to the baby! I think he might be a bit chuffed I'm pg

In truth though I am a mercenary cow. I don't have an ethereal, floaty-light sweetheart of a boyfriend and frankly if Hom wrote me a poem or a song I'll slump to the floor with shock and embarrassment - he is not the type.

I believe the outlay of cold hard cash to be the only suitable thank you for the significant effort of carrying and birthing his baby. And if that makes me a money-grabbing old Ho, ponder this: I'm still with the fucking cockwipe even though I only got a poxy bunch of gerberas

Cunty was definitely joking.

We do agree. And I have been snarling for a long time at crappy people who thought my sister's 15 year relationship was somehow less valid because they hadn't felt the need to get married. People should be free to have the kind of relationship they want and demonstrate it in the way they want. Whether that's with a bit of bling, a marriage certificate, or a healthy line in sarcasm. All good ways of displaying love.

I may yet be a stay at home mum as well. I am undecided on the matter and waiting to see how I feel. And I do worry that people will then never believe that I'm a feminist again. Sigh.

Ok, maybe Cunty wasn't joking.

We haven't done rings n ceremonies and don't do soppy and sickeningly-in-love either. However we're still together after 10 years of living and working together so I would say we do love each other quite a lot :)

I absolutely don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks of my relationship, and you shouldn't either scorps. tbh I can't imagine who would be casting any judgements anyway, particularly not when you are mr n ms lovebird (which we know you are :) )

As I said, she is Quite Serious. I've met homme, he's a poet and he loves to stroke kittens while strumming a lute.

'fucking cockwipe'

Such sweet, sweet words cunty. Hark at the voice of True Love my peshies, it is like the music of the heart....

He's going to hunt me down and kill me, isn't he?

Oh, TYF isn't ethereal and floaty-light (although he is away with the fairies much of the time). He's the least sentimental person alive. My theme tune is not in any way romantic (quite the opposite!) and his idea of a soppy comment is 'your skin looks better now that massive spot is going down'. I won't even get flowers when I give birth (it wouldn't occur to him unless he was forced to at knifepoint by a crack squad of Interflora commandos - he's never bought me any before). And yet I'll still feel like the most loved woman in the whole place. Eeeurgh, I've made myself feel sick now and I can't blame the pregnancy!

I call TYF things like Poosmell and Stinkface most of the time - I see I need to work on my romanticism before I reach the giddy heights of 'cockwipe'

Muser, let's lose our sense of identity and ability to talk to other adults together! I shall be saying that as a Feminist, I have the right to chose to be a SAHM (or other bollocks to that effect).

As I said, she is Quite Serious. I've met homme, he's a poet and he loves to stroke kittens while strumming a lute.

Funniest thing have heard all day.

I certainly think that the rock that I got proves beyond all doubt that TNB adores me. And the tiny-fingered children are just better at getting into the really small spaces to get the bling out, no?

I think we have a fair spread of different types of relationship on this thread, all equally valid and worthy. And we're all going to have to deal with crazy first year of crazy pressure on relationships, whether we are blingtastic or not.

I got sweet bugger all after giving birth. But he does do all the dog walking and shit lifting, so I know he loves me.

cass, I'm looking for a 'like' button to click under your comment about sitting under sparkly lights!! The same goes for cunty & her response to a bunch of gerberas!

The FC and I aren't married, I would love to be, but he is less keen, especially as we are both divorce. His response is that we have tried it ondce & it didn't work - why do it again! But this time, although I would dearly love a sparkly something, I would go for a much less flashy ceremony than the one I had first time round.

Like drom said - it's lovely that diamond or not - all our differing relationships are all equally worthy.

Still getting an iPad though I reckon...

All the dog walking and shirt lifting eh Curly ? That really IS true love

MrsFC, yes, but will the iPad sparkle as well in the loo??

he's deffo the shit lifter. No shirt lifting here

I didn't get an engagement ring OR a present when I gave birth. All I got was a fecking lazy husband who spent the next year moaning how tired he was.

And I'd just like to clarify - NO, he never did a night feed, Boo slept through the night from 5 weeks, and he wore earplugs/eyemask to bed, or else slept in the spare room. Fucker! And and and he has never bought me flowers, or a little present 'just because' or anything. I too have hinted at eternity rings/bling etc. Not because I want one (I also prefer costume jewellery) but just to see the look of horror on his face.

However I do know that he loves and adores me, as he tells me all the time. And he hasn't left yet.

I too now understand that SFF has taken to cruising the common at night with the dog "looking for badgers"!

drom With a large diamond you'll be able to cut his face up "real good" in a sleep-deprived psychotic rage.

polly A diamond is pretty (but personally I'm happy with diamante from Claires - looks the same to me ) - but a 12" cock is far superior in the fun stakes. You win! n.b., am not saying pol has a cock...