For Anyone Needing Support After Losing a Parent. Very Supportive Thread (September 2025)

[Crunchymum]

A follow on from the nearly full old thread - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/bereavement/4932881-for-anyone-needing-support-after-losing-a-parent-very-supportive-thread-november-2023?page=40&reply=147297138

I hope this thread continues to be a place of warmth, support and shared wisdom.

@Gingercarand @elmleemum thank you and hugs to you

@dandelionfluffy- I used google AI to help me with my eulogy and it was helpful. Obviously as with any AI, it will need thorough checking and possible tweaks to reflect you, but it can help to suggest possible wording.

My Mum got Dad’s ashes yesterday - so we had a little cry together on the phone. She’s had someone with her since he died and last night was her first night alone. She’s doing ok but I worry so much.

I have just returned from holiday and the aching for mum has returned so badly . It’s nearly seven months since I lost her and I think people expect you to be over it . Not being able to browse the shops abroad for some little gifts for her was so sad . I managed to find a heart shaped shell on the beach, will take it to her grave tomorrow ❤️

i had the same a couple of months back when we went to Blackpool and I didn’t have dad dropping (not in the slightest bit subtle) hints for some rock. We bought him a stick anyway and I sprinkled it near his tree for him. It’s so so so hard isn’t it, I’m really sorry x

Its my birthday this week and the first since my dad passed suddenly in April. I keep trying to sleep but picturing him leaving my house the day before he died. I want to wave him back and tell him how much I love him and ask him not to go, maybe if he had stayed longer that day the next day might have been different.
Its been his birthday, fathers day, my childs birthday and now mine all in the 5 months since he passed at the ripe old age of 57💔.
Its all so hard. I'm tired, I'm sad and I miss him so much😢

I'm so sorry @Everglow. It's hard enough adjusting to life without them, without having lots of 'first' events too.

I'm missing mum so much too. It's the little things now that I want her advice on, or the day to day gossip to let her know that makes my heart ache. It doesn't feel like that will ever get easier right now. It's particularly hard as everyone around me thinks I'm doing ok as I'm very good at putting a strong front on. But inside I'm just so so sad and cry when I'm alone.

I am unwell with a uti and all I want is to talk to my mum 😭 my youngest has just left for uni and my middle son is going back on Sunday . Life has changed so much in seven months and I feel so very lonely . I still can’t believe she’s gone , house and all her things there but not her .

I'm so sorry @Marvellousmeadows . I have nothing useful to say other than I hope the antibiotics have kicked in for your UTI and that you are feeling more comfortable.x

Mum died six weeks ago. We’re clearing her house, and it’s been a rollercoaster of all the emotions!

Today I was clearing kitchen drawers. I thought that would be quite easy - cutlery, crockery, etc., all very functional and unemotional.

Later today I suddenly felt so sad. So sad about all the stuff she’d had for decades - utensils that had been wedding presents, novelty mugs friends had bought her - and which we’re just clearing out. Most of it will be donated, but still.

A whole lifetime of possessions, gone. She was living there a couple of months ago, using her stuff and living amongst it all. All gone.

It's nearly six months since my father died. I've had my firsts (my birthday, his birthday, Father's day), but I just feel more and more devastated. I looked after him after my mother died and then became his live in carer. He was old and unwell so it was a release for him, but knowing this doesn't help. I'm on the waiting list for trauma counselling and grief counselling, but I'm just so upset. The slightest thing sets me off. I'm barely functioning. Do I just need to push through. Probate process isn't helping either. I just cry all the time.

Sorry for everyone grieving too, seven months in and I am finding this the most difficult period. The shock has gone and now it’s the reality I will never see my mum again. Probate has been a complete nightmare and it’s still not been granted, mum’s house is now costing me money to maintain as I haven’t got the energy to carry on doing her gardens . I was going to rent out her house but I feel dreadful going there without her . This is a great forum to share our grief with people as it’s difficult for other family members to keep hearing me moaning about my mum being gone. Luckily my teenage children are taking it all in their stride, I am happy that they are not depressed as they were very close to her .

Am I allowed to nominate Worst Bereavement Team from all the companies and organisations I've dealt with so far

1. by a country mile is Standard Life. My mum had an annuity and the only details we had were on a tax statement. Their website bereavement notification form doesn't work and it says "feel free to call us or write to us instead" but there is no phone number. I rang another phone number and they told me NO she can't have had a policy with us (I'm hallucinating this letter then?) oh where's the cover letter (I don't know, my mum didn't keep it?) here's the bereavement team who told me NO we don't deal with this and she hasn't got a policy with us (see above) try the Annuity team. Finally I got through to them and they said "oh, sorry not sorry about the website, we are separate as we deal with annuities brought over from Sun Life but HOW COULD I KNOW which previous company she dealt with???
2. joint second were the Teachers' Pension Scheme who have a totally unnecessarily complicated form which could be a branching web form so you don't have to fill in bits irrelevant to you and, unlike all other companies, don't seem to be able to work out how to upload documents securely to write to them and also Cynergy Bank who told me off for calling them basically as I'm supposed to write to them even though IT SAYS ON THEIR WEBSITE to call or write.