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Original poster

Ds1 15 killed himself.

235 replies

Makinglists · 15/07/2021 10:06

Ds1 who was 15 killed himself. He spent a week in hospital but the damage was too great and he died on 11 July.
We are still near the hospital sorting things out (he was in a childrens unit away from home). The feelings are overwhelming, I can't think of returning to the house where I found him. We have another child who is 10 and he is with friends.
There were no signs he would so this - he was stressed about Gcses and recently lost his grandfather but he seemed to be handling it. His emotions seemed normal for a 15 year old.
Awful though it is I wondered if there are others this has happened to and can share their story so we feel less alone.
We are broken.

OP posts:
krustykittens · 15/07/2021 11:02

I am so, so sorry, OP. xx

IAmWomxxnHearMeRoar · 15/07/2021 11:02

All my best wishes.
Perhaps do a google search and find a charity that links people in the same situation?

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 15/07/2021 11:03

@Wildehorses

I have teenage sons and communication is a nightmare, they tell me nothing. Please do not blame yourself, boys act in the moment, it's part of their DNA. My heart goes out to you, lean on family and friends and don't be afraid to ask for support, thinking of you all xxx
Totally agree with this. I work with survivors of suicide attempts a lot. Probably 90% of attempts in this age group are impulsive. They don't mean that the child was deeply unhappy for a long time, or that there was something terrible going on that the parents didn't know about.

So sorry, OP.

Chocolatericecakes · 15/07/2021 11:05

I have nothing of any value to say but I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending hugs xxx

MrsBobDylan · 15/07/2021 11:06

I am sending you every last piece of love in my heart. Life can be so devastatingly cruel.

My son felt suicidal at 13 and didn't tell me. It helped me to think of it as a physical illness, so not anyone's fault. I found out during a medical appointment where the HCP asked ds is he had thought about killing himself and he said yes.

I would never have thought to ask him that and would therefore never have known.

I don't know how you get through the next few weeks, but please ask for help from your GP for you and from CAHMS for your 10 year old.

Bless you Thanks

HopeHappy · 15/07/2021 11:06

I'm so, so sorry OP.

A friend of mine went through this with their son a couple of years ago so have a little understanding of the absolute shock and devastation you must be feeling.

Please seek out as much help as you need to help you navigate the emotions you'll be going through. Talk to us here if you need to, if it helps, even if it's just to vent and get things off your chest. Flowers

grafittiartist · 15/07/2021 11:07

So so sorry

BrownEyedGirl80 · 15/07/2021 11:08

So sorry

Raindancer411 · 15/07/2021 11:08

I am really so sorry, I know words won't make it better for you x

davidrosejumper · 15/07/2021 11:11

I am so sorry, OP. Wishing you so much strength. Flowers

LoveMyBlanket · 15/07/2021 11:12

I’m so very sorry for your loss OP. Sending love to you and your family.

2andahalfpints · 15/07/2021 11:14

I am so sorry for your loss x

Crowsandshivers · 15/07/2021 11:15

I am so so sorry.

pinkhousesarebest · 15/07/2021 11:17

I am so sorry to hear this. My dd’s friend decided not to take the school bus with her one morning last year and took his own life. No-one saw anything amiss - to his parents, friends and teachers he was a perfectly happy 16 year old. It seemed to be a totally impulsive act.
Thinking of you and your family OP.

sockamnesty · 15/07/2021 11:18

I am so sorry

LordOfTheOnionRings · 15/07/2021 11:22

Sending hugs. I'm so sorry.

popcornlover13 · 15/07/2021 11:23

I am so sorryThanks

Original poster
Makinglists · 15/07/2021 11:23

Thank you for your messages. I just wish he could have told someone, anyone how he was feeling. I feel haunted by what I saw that night. We are getting support from the hospital, social services, schools and they are wonderful but it feels such a lonely journey. I will keep comming back to this thread but if I don't reply please don't take it as a sign I don't appreciate you lot - sometimes I can talk sometimes I just need to withdraw.

OP posts:
anon12345678901 · 15/07/2021 11:24

I am so sorry for your loss Thanks

Lougle · 15/07/2021 11:25

That is just so sad. I hope you get the support you need.

feb2022 · 15/07/2021 11:27

I'm so sorry OP this is devastating!
I lost my dad to suicide and my best friend, she was 19 when it happened
Not quite the same as losing a child I know, I have 2 boys but I just want to let you know I do know a fraction of the pain and I'm so very sorry you and your family are going through this
💐

Mamette · 15/07/2021 11:28

I am so sorry OP

MadeForThis · 15/07/2021 11:30

So sorry xx

Mama1980 · 15/07/2021 11:31

I'm am so terribly sorry OP Thanks

blahblahblah321 · 15/07/2021 11:33

@Makinglists

Thank you for your messages. I just wish he could have told someone, anyone how he was feeling. I feel haunted by what I saw that night. We are getting support from the hospital, social services, schools and they are wonderful but it feels such a lonely journey. I will keep comming back to this thread but if I don't reply please don't take it as a sign I don't appreciate you lot - sometimes I can talk sometimes I just need to withdraw.
Don't feel the need to justify yourself, do what you need to do x