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Bereavement

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Ds1 15 killed himself.

235 replies

Makinglists · 15/07/2021 10:06

Ds1 who was 15 killed himself. He spent a week in hospital but the damage was too great and he died on 11 July.
We are still near the hospital sorting things out (he was in a childrens unit away from home). The feelings are overwhelming, I can't think of returning to the house where I found him. We have another child who is 10 and he is with friends.
There were no signs he would so this - he was stressed about Gcses and recently lost his grandfather but he seemed to be handling it. His emotions seemed normal for a 15 year old.
Awful though it is I wondered if there are others this has happened to and can share their story so we feel less alone.
We are broken.

OP posts:
Councilworker · 15/07/2021 10:21

I am so sorry you are going through this terrible pain and have lost your son . I hope you have real life support and loved ones around you as well as support here. .
SOBS has been mentioned and I'd second them as a source of support. It's short for Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide and I used to work with one of the founders.
uksobs.org/?doing_wp_cron=1626312581.5082190036773681640625
They have a helpline and the link above takes you to the page for parents who have been bereaved by a child's suicide.

endofthelinefinally · 15/07/2021 10:24

I am so sorry for your loss of your dear son. Flowers

Pebbledashery · 15/07/2021 10:24

There isn't any words, I'm so very sorry, Big hugs. Please keep talking as little or as much as you feel comfortable with x

Wildehorses · 15/07/2021 10:24

I have teenage sons and communication is a nightmare, they tell me nothing. Please do not blame yourself, boys act in the moment, it's part of their DNA. My heart goes out to you, lean on family and friends and don't be afraid to ask for support, thinking of you all xxx

Cheerio21 · 15/07/2021 10:25

Don't know what to say op, this is heartbreaking.
I'm incredibly sorry, don't be hard on yourself.
Sending love Thanks

ScatteredMama82 · 15/07/2021 10:26

@Makinglists I'm so, so sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking. No words can possibly help, but you know we on MN are always here to talk if you need to.

Wam90 · 15/07/2021 10:27

@Makinglists I am so sorry for what you’re going through. Sending lots of strength and hoping you’re getting the support you need x

Houserenoqueen · 15/07/2021 10:27

So sorry OP. My daughter died from a different cause, but I an sending you so much love from one bereaved parent to another. It is unbelievable and shit and although it’s been 2.5 years for me, I still can’t believe it happened. I assume you have real life support - the admin stuff that comes next is awful when you are in shock. If it would help to discuss any of that please send me a PM.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 15/07/2021 10:28

I am so sorry
I’m literally in tears reading this

Life is very very cruel

I can only say please don’t have guilt in top of your enormous grief

The mental health challenges with your ur young generation is unprecedented and very hard to manage

He must have been in great anguish to have done this . Rest in peace young man

Please make sure you get every single medication and therapy to help you all navigate this

Again I’m desperately sorry for this

Imtootired · 15/07/2021 10:28

How awful. I’m really thinking of you and your family. Xxxxx

bearlyactive · 15/07/2021 10:30

Flowers Flowers

PB12 · 15/07/2021 10:31

This is awful. I'm so sorry. Please be kind to yourself, one day at a time.

MarshaBradyo · 15/07/2021 10:31

Oh my goodness I’m so sorry for your loss

Utterly heartbreaking

bluelavender · 15/07/2021 10:31

Dear @makinglists am so very sorry for your loss.

In addition to SOBS; Papyrus has a list of organisations that can support families that have lost a loved one through suicide.

www.papyrus-uk.org/support-organisations/

TamarilloTrifle · 15/07/2021 10:36

I'm so sorry for your loss. My eldest deliberately overdosed but did survive, I was totally unaware of how he had been feeling. Sending you love, I hope you can all get the support you need.

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 15/07/2021 10:38

@Makinglists, I’m so very sorry. Please take all the support offered and I second the signposting of SOBS and The Compassionate Friends (support for bereaved parents and families after the death of a child or children).

www.tcf.org.uk/

uksobs.org/

❤️

babbaloushka · 15/07/2021 10:39

Another who recommends SOBS Flowers

KindleAndCake · 15/07/2021 10:39

I'm so sorry for your loss, I hope you have support in real life. If it helps to talk about your son on here, please do.
My eldest went through a period of dark suicidal thoughts and feelings, it was horrible to deal with, and we're still having having to watch him now.
Flowers

CharityPecksniff · 15/07/2021 10:43

Heartbreaking. Thinking of you and your family. ThanksThanksThanks

Trouvaille · 15/07/2021 10:44

Very, very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family

timetochangeagainforever · 15/07/2021 10:45

I'm so sorry. My son is 16 and I really feel for you xx

DinosaurDiana · 15/07/2021 10:47

I am so sorry 💐
I have a 16 year old, and can’t imagine her even contemplating this.
Tragic.

Maggiesfarm · 15/07/2021 10:47

Oh no, Makinglists, that is so awful. What a terrible shock for you.
I am so, so sorry.
Flowers

Rainbowqueeen · 15/07/2021 10:48

There are no words

My heart goes out to you and I will light a candle for your son.

springiscoming12 · 15/07/2021 10:49

I’m so so sorry Flowers