Support thread for anyone who has lost a parent (4)

[mummylin2495]

Here is our new home hope it's as comfy as the last one

I've realised even more this year who is worth bothering with and who isn't! I will only bother with who bothers with me. 2014 is the year to get rid of the selfish people! I drink to that!! Why should I give my all to people and look out for them I don't get it back! I've got my soul mates. Having a good chat tonight with a school mum about how shocking some people have been inc a few family!!

I agree totally t875 regarding the selfish people, I'm done with mine.x

super, I think being back inside your mums house has thrown you and made you think about her even more. I'm sorry, I know exactly what you mean about people moaning about their mums/family, I think some of them do it on purpose when they know you dont have that anymore, some people seem to get a kick out of it, I dont think its all accidental. Thats my experience anyway! I hope you and badvoc start to feel better soon, although I know your heartbreak wont go away anytime soon xxx

mummylin, thanks for the links, I'm looking into them xxx

Oh the task of buying Christmas cards! So not easy started crying in the shop! Can't believe it. Last year I was ok as me and my bro went together. I bailed. Got to go back. Should have pushed myself to get one there and then!!!

Yes T :(
I haven't bothered this year.
I just couldn't do it.
Still feel rubbish and added to that gynae issues rearing their ugly head again :(
On the plus side ds1 did very well in his science test and ds2 got a head teacher award :)
Just phoned my mum - she is ok. We have some plans for next week - church stuff mostly but it will get us both out and about.
Thinking of you all x

I'm thinking of you all.

I am a long way down the road my father died many years ago.
Things do get better and the pain turns into a bittersweetness.
My father died just before christmas, with presents under the tree for him and for a long time christmas was too much to bear.

Now though with the passing of time I can remember the good times when I think of him, happy childhood memories and the fun we shared together. It is a painful path, but we do heal, we will always have the legacies and memories of those we lost and loved. X

Thankyoumsmiggins it's good to hear that eventually we will all learn to carry on with our ,lives and accept what we cannot change

Ssd I hope your feeling a little better. I understand what you mean. I put the decorations up for my dad today and it felt so wrong doing it without my mum. She lived her decorations and spent a fortune on them in the last few years. When I went into their bedroom to get something the smell of her hit me and it just took me back to her. I knows it really the washi g powder but it felt so real when I shut my eyes I could feel the conversations we had in that room when she was poorly. It's heartbreaking.

T875 we are going with helium balloons and will send them on Christmas Eve and will light a candle in church on Christmas day. I found the Christmas hat I made for her last year today. It's a cheesy red head scarf with dodgy stars and stuff sown on. She wore it in such good spirit Not sure what to do with that.

Mummylin I haven't done any shopping for anyone other than my dcs yet. Need motivation!

Reading this board helps me see a the hurt I am feeling is normal. It's so sad that we are all here.

I hope all guises coughs and colds are starting to get better for everyone. They seem to last ages.

Right - I need to motivate myself and Christmas songs arnt doing it!
The poster who said it does get better - thank you that gives a little hope that it won't always be this hard.

bluestar I have left it so late I am now rushing around like a lunatic trying to get everything !
Well I have a bad cold today but dh has come home " full of flu" isn't that bloody typical . I'm sure he will still be going to watch our town play footi tomorrow in the wet and cold, obviously isn't that ill !!!

Cough cough
Splutter
:(

Same here badvoc just been to chemist to get some covonia and sone day / night nurse capsules. Can't stand having to blow my nose every five minutes

I am not good at being ill.
It makes me tetchy.
Ooooh...night nurse! Wish I had some!

I Got a mixed box of both night and day. But as usual most women just carry on with things or they won't get done. Going to t crem tomorrow as on Sunday we are going to black bush market and taking dd and or two gd,s. but I need to put fresh flowers. And so. Have to go in the morning as dh got footi in afternoon. I will take my two new things tomorrow as well. Can your dh g out and get you something for your cold ?

I have to go to my aunts tomorrow to get her breakfast.
Then prob go to the cemetery.
Then come home and go to bed.
Supposed to be going to a church service in Sunday at a local cathedral...hope I feel better by then :(

Hopefully the cold will have abated a bit b then. I always find my colds are fine during the day but worse first thing and in the evenings. I actually feel ok but sneezing and runny nose !

Got a chest infection.
Bah.

Think same here badvoc. Lots of horrible muck on my chest !

Got ABs for mine. Urgh.
Get yourself to a dr!
Not going to service tomorrow...am going to stay home and keep warm. Will pop and see mum later.
Lots on this week coming so need to rest...
Have just cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom..cupboards, everything.
Just bathroom, windows inside and bathroom to do now...but what doesn't get done next week will stay undone :)

Just came back from taking flowers and my new ornaments to the cemetery, it looked so lovely so I am pleased that is done . I have some sprayed glittery fir cones etc amongst the flowers and some other glittery things amongst the flowers.
I a, going out when dh goes to footi to do a bit more shopping.
It's no point phoning for an apt at my docs. I prob won't get apt for ten days.its useless . I will soon be ok. For the first time ever I have told dh I need help with wrapping up all the gifts. I am usually on top of things but because I have left it so late they are all piled up. It has made a difference having ds and gs here. I normally would be able to use that room But I think they will be moving out in a couple of days. Their house is now ready to move into. I will miss them ( but not all gs bloody washing ) oh well press on. The night day / night nurse is good

Washing! I hear you. Dh has been doing it since I have had my op (not allowed to lift) and he does it wrong! :) I know I should be grateful but...
I need to get some holly/berries/glittery stuff for dads headstone too but not having much luck ATM.
How long have your ds and gs been with you? I am sure it will seem strange once they are back in their own house.
Kids at pils til 1pm.
Dh just done the grocery shop and is now hoovering :)

I am behind as well. Don't know what's happened normally up with it by now! I've got it all written down though. Handy being a list girl

Had my hair lightened from dark! I feel a new woman!!
Went to the crem today too. We put some flowers down and I also put a glittery pine cone and bauball. Unfortunately it will all be cleared Wednesday.
But I'm sure she loved what I did.
It was weird my dad had a card from us all he had put a nail through the spine of it to put into the ground but he was dubious if the gardener would hurt himself.
But strangle enough as we were walking up we found a plastic card holder which was great for the card! Found that very strange!!

Had a Christmas meal last night as my brother is going away Christmas. It was ok.. Bitter sweet. Missed my mum not being there and it blows my mind when I think of it. Done lots of things in her memory and legacy what she would have liked.

Missmiggjns. Thank you for coming on the thread. I know what you mean I am a little better still find some times tough. Sorry for your loss. And please come here anytime x

Bluestar - that sounds nice for your mum. With the hat maybe if not too painful you could keep it out I know what you mean though I've got lots of bits if my mums more this year too as my dad clears out x

Hope everyone ill gets better soon!! X
My thoughts are with you all x

Why will your mums things be cleared on wed t arent you allowed to leave it there ? Well I went to buy 4 pairs of slippers and was upset when I saw the type I would normally get for my mum. In fact they had the very same ones I have bought her in the past. I had to stop looking at them. Got a real bargain in boots. They had the big cases of soap and glory reduced from £60 to £27 !! So my dd has two sets of it because I bought her the big tin already, but I couldn't resist it. It was such a bargain and her bday is only 5 days after Xmas so she can have both sets
I got a few more things too and my arms were nearly dropping off so had to stop and come home
My ds and gs been here 2 & 1/2 weeks now. He says he isn't going !

Yeah they move everything On Wednesday. My mum has a small plaque and a Rose in the middle of the bed surrounds it everyone's who has passed plaques and the crem clear everything after a time. Would b nice to go somewhere and be able to leave it. Ill have flowers indoors!
Sounds like your making a good start on Christmas shopping! I got great flash looking wrapping paper with boss etc from bhs yesterday would be 10 I got it for 5! Result! Hard seeing things in shops they would wear isn't it!? Strangle I am the same, the slippers get me every time. Or lovely jazzy tops!! She loved a good Christmas jumper too!

Not boss bows. Lol I really should post on my lap top! ??

My mum liked to have something new and sparkly for Xmas so she could wear it to her club she went to on Fridays. I went into a shop the other day where they sell , what I will describe as alternative cards and I had to laugh at them even though they were so rude. They have Xmas paper too which says " happy f -g Christmas " of course you would have to be very careful who you gave that to and broad minded too. I may get some for one of my brothers as I know he would find it very amusing !

Yes, my brother would appreciate that too!
Mum is coming up to watch strictly with us.
Don't feel very festive.
10 days to go yet though.