I cant help it, I need you lot, dp died yesterday, I cant stop seeing it, it hurts so much

[TrinityRhino]

everything hurts, I cant close my eyes without seeing it happening
he collapsed at home
I did chest compressions till the ambulance came
they tried for ages but he was gone
I cant stop seeing it
my arms hurt, my heart hurts
I'm exhausted
I cant do this again

Oh god :(

yet another one here who checked the date and just can't believe this is new. life is just so horribly cruel. I'm so, so sorry.

Your DP sounds completely wonderful, and I am glad that he brought joy into your lives, and you brought joy to his too, I am so sorry it was so shortlived, but the joy will live on. Your description made me smile, and one day you will all be smiling again too.

Rest in peace, teddy bear in a crocodile suit xxx

Nobody needs you or expects you to answer individual posts.
Just read through from time to time to remind yourself that every one cares about you.

Just checking in to see how you are today Trin - hope the aching shoulders and arms are starting to ease, but if not, get some Deep Heat or something on them.
Glad Giraffes and Purple were able to be there with you - they are both absolute Stars and deserve many .
So relieved that DD2 has been able to let some of her grief out too - holding it in is worse than otherwise.

So many (((hugs))) for you all - your Cliff was a true gent, a wonderful man. xxx

Trin, just wanted to say that the horror of those memories does fade. We had similar with dd, CPR and ambulance and for a while, when I thought of dd, that nightmare was all I saw. But now, when I think of her, I think of her the way she was before that day, IYKWIM.

You can do this. Keep the faith for your dp and stay off the booze and fags, he would want that for you. I know at times like that, our first instinct can be to reach for the wine but it is a depressant and doesn't help in the long run

Life has been horribly shit to you, Trin but you always come back fighting xxx

trinity - just popping in to see how you are today.

I was thinking of you last night and remembered a very funny thread you started about a discussion that you and your DP were having about the practicalities and possibilities of eating a cow washed up on the beach. It made me a lot and my DH.

Your DP sounds like a wonderful and loving man - from your description of him here and on your other threads on MN.

Trinity, I am so sorry for your loss.
((((((( I can't think of anything to say, so I'll send you a hug instead)))))

You don't know me, am one of those on MN who sees your name and thinks "Ah, Trinity", now so very sorry for your loss.

Still here, Trinity.x

You don't know me either, and I cannot think of anything to say but just so you know there's another one here.

I am one of life's practical people - you've got great support around you but is there anything else you need? Just say.

I am really sorry trinity x

I've been thinking about you all day. xxx.

Shower is good. Hugging children also good. Candy crush is a good distraction. I'm only on level 72.

Giraffes and Purple, you are stars. I'm so glad Trin has got some help and support from you both in RL.

Much love to you all, Trin. xxx

I'm so very sorry Trinity. I couldn't believe it when I saw this was you.
I'm thinking of you and wishing you and your DC strength and peace.
Pleas take care of yourself.

I wish I could do more to help, but I'm about 500 miles away.

Hello

Trinity, we at MNHQ are so sad and sorry about what's happened. We hope you're getting a smidgeon of comfort from your fellow MNers.

Thanks to all who've suggested we let this thread go past 1000 posts. Here's what we said in our reply to Mouseface:

'Sorry to be unhelpful, but we almost never allow threads to go past the 1000 mark these days; it causes real problems for anyone using MN on a mobile device (which is a big proportion of our users these days) and anyone without a fast broadband connection.

We see this one has still got a few hundred posts to run, but when it gets into the 900s perhaps the best solution is for you to start a new one and link to it on the thread so everyone knows where to go next?

Thanks for being so lovely and supportive.'

MNHQ x

Can't imagine what you're going through, just know that we are here and thinking of you x

Trinity, just logged on for the first time this weekend and couldn't believe what I was reading. I'm so sorry you are going through this again. My thoughts will be with you over the next days and weeks. X

thanks rowan
I understand I can start a new one when it gets to that point
or someone will do it for me

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Post-traumatic-stress-disorder/Pages/Treatment.aspx

I have no experience of this, but I've heard great things of this treatment

Another one here who 'knows' you and your story trinity but who you wouldn't know from Adam.

I read the op, then had to check the date 3 or 4 times before I realised this was real and not a mistake :( I'm so so sorry to hear that you are once again facing this. Your dp sounds like a wonderful man and obviously so very in love with you and your girls.

I just wanted to add my support to the hundreds of other mumsnetters who are here for you and your girls.

Thinking of you xxx

RowanMNHQ - I was just about to C&P that so thank you for saving me the time you lovely person you!

Trinity - I'm sure there will lots of us who will either ask you or offer to do it when it gets near to the end of the thread sweetheart.

Mouse xxxx

Trinity - I am so sorry to hear about your DP. Life can be such a bitch.

Just checking in,Trinity. xx

Was doing the washing up, and was listening to Adele "Someone Like You" and thought of you all the way through the song. Told DD the onions made me teary...she looked like this as there wasn't an onion in sight

I am here. We are here. Whatever you need..it is done x

Trinity, another one checking in pet xxxx
Like Crazynanna says.

I keep thinking about you too Trinity and welling up. Your Dp looks lovely, a real gentle giant with a kind and friendly face. I guess you have get through each minute and hope the awful memories will soon be replaced by happier ones. Sending love