I cant help it, I need you lot, dp died yesterday, I cant stop seeing it, it hurts so much

[TrinityRhino]

everything hurts, I cant close my eyes without seeing it happening
he collapsed at home
I did chest compressions till the ambulance came
they tried for ages but he was gone
I cant stop seeing it
my arms hurt, my heart hurts
I'm exhausted
I cant do this again

I'm so so sorry to hear this. You don't deserve this again. Having been there once myself, twice is beyond comprehension. Sending you love and hoping you can find some peace x

((trinity))
Apparently playing Tetris, or something else it, bubble pop or sudoku stops the memories 'embedding'. No idea if it works but it can't do any harm.

So sorry.
So utterly unfair

So sorry Trin. xxx

So very sorry to read this Trinity x

I am so so sorry Trinity.

Life is so bloody cruel sometimes.

Also thinking of you -you and your family are in my thoughts.

thankyou everyone
I ashamed to say I just spent 69p on candy crush saga to refill my lives so I can keep playing

I've always been a gamer
its easy non thinking stuff but I keep running out of lives

I've eaten half a sandwich

my lovely neighbor has been around to tell me the little ones are wanting to stay with her just now but they wanted the jam we have and the bread so she came to get it

I've taken some paracetemol
I'm in bed watching crap on youtube with dd1
I feel shaky and sore
I keep crying
I cant stop seeing it

Oh Trinity, I'm so very very very sorry to hear this, you poor darling, that's just so unfair! On you and your girls. I'm crying here for you - I can't believe it.
My grandad had the same thing happen with my Nanna, she also died - and I can also tell you that the images do fade. Times vary from person to person but they do fade, there will come a time when you would have to actively try to recall it (should you want to, which is extremely unlikely).

((((((hugs)))))) for you - I am so :( for you.

You poor thjng. Do whatever it takes to get through the next few days. Youll then be able to focus a little. For now youre doing great.

Oh God Trinity. There are no words. I couldn't believe it was you posting. I had to check the date too. I am so so sorry.

Keep posting. You know it will help.

Trinity , so so sorry. x

Oh Trinity, I am so sorry that you have lost your DP. I'm another who had to check the date and was horrified to realise you're having to go through all the pain again.

My thoughts are with you and the DCs x

I'm so sorry . How cruel :( . But you are strong , you know you can be again but give yourself time.

TRINITY RE CANDY CRUSH are you playing on facebook?? if you are you can get new lives by watching the adds, where you go to the screen where it says you don't have enough lives and to ask friends, if you click the cross on that, it gives you the option to watch an add to get a new life - they range from 30 seconds to a few minutes - i let the add run and come on here

Don't feel guilty, you are in shock, candy crush is a good way of not thinking and thats what you need to do right now. Did your DP play games?

So sorry for your loss trinity
I wish their was something I could say to make it even a tinier but better .

Thinking of you and your family x

dp was the complete opposite of a gamer. managing to work out how to record and playback things on the sky plus box was about as techie as he got

Oh Trinity, so so sad to hear this.

Purplepillow is right though - you are much stronger. Keep remembering how proud dp was of you and let those positive memories help you. xx

all my love x

Re CandyCrush, there is an add on that gives you unlimited lives, I had it but accidently wiped it and cant remember what its called.

If any one else knows what it is please post it. You can play on for ages with it you get 99+ lives and all the bonuses.

I wondered if it might help to write what happened down? If you can get it all clear in your head and write down exactly what happened, maybe your brain will stop trying to replay it constantly?
I hope you can get some rest when the shock starts to wear off, you must be beyond exhausted. xxx

Oh trin I am so, so sorry :( I had a horrible sick feeling when I saw the date and you as the OP. This is so fucking unfair after everything.

Your DP was a wonderful man. Just hold on to those memories.

Your DP sounds lovely, Trinity.
I wish you love and strength to get through this awful time.
What a massive crock of shit for you. It's so unfair.

Trinity, so terribly, terribly sorry. Unbelieveable. Sending you our best MN hugs xx