I cant help it, I need you lot, dp died yesterday, I cant stop seeing it, it hurts so much

[TrinityRhino]

everything hurts, I cant close my eyes without seeing it happening
he collapsed at home
I did chest compressions till the ambulance came
they tried for ages but he was gone
I cant stop seeing it
my arms hurt, my heart hurts
I'm exhausted
I cant do this again

Am a long time lurker and very occasional poster. But sending love and strength to you and your family Trinity. Put you and your girls first and do whatever you need to do to get through each day.

Oh Trinity. I'm so sorry.

x

We dont know eachother but I want to offer you my hand to hold. Thinking of you and your family. You sound like such a strong person, you did all that you could. Life can be so cruel. You are in my thoughts x

Thinking of you Trinity , have been following your threads for so long (through your loss and pain), i'm so sorry you are going through this again.

My thoughts are with you and your family at this very sad time xxx

I am so very sorry Trinity, and thinking of you and your family and friends.

I just can believe you have to face this again. My goodness. All of mn s v best support.

Oh Trinity, I am so so sorry :(
I'm also offering a virtual hand to hold x

So sorry to read this, hugs xx

I'm so sorry Trinity- please get some help from the doctor if you can make that call, and try to have people around you. Thinking of you x

I'm just another unknown but just want you to know you're in my thoughts, take care x

Oh Trin :( Not again. i thought this was an old thread at first. How awful xxx

Oh Trinity, I can't believe this has happened again to you. I was here when you lost your dh (serial name changer hre). Its just not fair. How utterly bloody cruel for you and your dcs. I am so so sorry.

((((Trinity))))
So very sorry that you are going through this again. So very sorry that I have no words to make it better.

Oh my god. Trinity - I don't know you but I do know THIS (& I'm sorry this is long but am weeping for you and I am crap at doing 'short' at best of times)

I PROMISE YOU THOSE IMAGES WILL FADE Please please PLEASE know that even if it doesn't feel like it. I lost someone beloved 12 weeks ago tomorrow and the night before they died was horrific beyond horrific - stuff you never want to see or hear and etched into your brain, feeling like that will be all you'd ever remember and just wishing was some magic mind tippex to wipe them out.

12 weeks on and THEY HAVE ALREADY FADED angel. Lying if said totally, but they are NOT now the first ones I think of or wake up with right in front of my eyes again. I can now remember other, happier, things too. If I can give you ANYTHING, it is that certainty that yours will too. I know it's scant comfort right now, but it is true.

I am just so so sorry for your loss, especially since it is obvious from above you have already - unbelievably - faced this once. But please believe the beautifully vivid picture of your man that you described below WILL be the one that overcomes the shock and trauma of last night's images. Just (((hugs))) to you and DDs, and know that this man you write of so beautifully cleary loved you very, very, much and that gift of being loved that way and those memories will never be taken from you. Sx

he was a big strong man
he had a red hat he wore all the time
he used to call his crocs 'melly mels' cause we once saw a picture of mel gibson in crocs and he was trying to convince me that crocs were cool cause mel gibson wore them and I fancied mel gibson when he was younger

he loved curry, he used to spend hours in the kitchen making curries from scratch
really hot and tasty
I used to taste them, they were really tasty but waaay too hot for me
he used to love to sweat whilst eating a curry

he loved fishing, the sea, nature
we used to go and collect the flatfish from the salmon nets in the sea outside my house

he was so loving and kind but in private
he was a big strong mans man but with a soft squishy heart
I used to call him my teddy bear in a crocodile suit

SO MANY and all love x

I am so sorry Trinity.

I can't believe how unfair life is being to you and yours.

We are all here for you. xxx

So very sorry to read this. Life can be very cruel. So sorry for your loss.

Oh God Trinity, so, so sorry. Just no words for the unfairness of it :(

I am so so sorry, you and your children have been through so much, hugs and love, lots of it xxx

Oh Trinity love...... I am so sorry, the pain must be immense and hope we can add to the strngth you need to geth through this.
Take care xx (((( ))))

Oh God Trinity, no. My eyes flew to the date as well. So, so unfair.

He sounds lovely and I'm just so very sorry.

Sweet Trinny. You don't deserve this

I'm so so sorry :( xx

Oh trinity I am so sorry. Life is unbearably shit sometimes. The same happened to DM when my dad died of a heart attack in front of her. Those awful images do indeed fade with time, and she can now remember all the wonderful times with him.

Let your DD look after you, she wants to and it will help her too. I shall forever think of crocs as melly mels, and I'll bet he truly rocked them.
Sending love and hugs x