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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

Our Children budded on earth to bloom in heaven

973 replies

frasersmummy · 15/04/2011 08:12

I think we have had this title before but it seems appropriate for spring

I have started this thread in honour of all our children but particularly Fraser who would have been 7 today. Happy birthday son we still miss you dearly. You will always be our firstborn and we always remember you in our hearts

OP posts:

lavandes · 19/05/2011 06:50

Morning ladies xx

shabbapinkfrog · 19/05/2011 07:05

Tom had English homework last night. His teacher is fantastic and he always wants to please her.

He had to write a 3 minute speech as if he was a policeman going into a primary school to give a talk about road safety.

He asked was it OK if he mentioned Matty. Bearing in mind Tom never met his big brother.

After about an hour he read it out to me and I had to time him.

It was amazing.

I told him it was great and he was relieved that he hadn't upset me.

When he went to bed I sobbed.

lavandes · 19/05/2011 07:51

shabs That is probably so good for Tom to put it down on paper. Although he never met Matty he has been a part of his life. He may make other children be aware of danger. But it must have been so sad for you. xxx

I have been having a hard week. Just missing him so much. I suppose this is the way it goes. Up and down. xx

greenzebra · 19/05/2011 08:54

Im quite proud of myself, the women of my NCT class are starting to have their babies now and I havnt been too upset! I miss Ophelia so much but I cant let that stop me congratulating the other mums of my group. I have taken a back seat in the meetings as I dont want to upset them in any way, but we have a facebook page that we all are members of and it is so nice to hear that the second baby to be born is a girl and she is healthy!

lavandes · 19/05/2011 09:23

Well done green you have 'jumped a hurdle' xx

shelleylou · 19/05/2011 09:35

morning all sorry i havent been around for a while. I have been thinking of you all. I've been struggling a lot with my db's death lately hormones running awol dont help. My DC2 is due in October between his remember day and the day of his funeral so its going to be a very bittersweet time. Once I find out what baby is i will speak to my parents about it having DB's name as a middle name if needed. I would love to do it but will respect their wishes either way.

Shabs thats lovely about Tom shows he thinks of his big brother and as Lavandes said he has been a part of his life.

Will have a proper readthrough and catch up when i get a few minutes spare and care bare to look at the monitor for an extended period lol

shabbapinkfrog · 20/05/2011 06:46

Morning girls xx Nice to see you Shelley xx

CheeseandGherkins · 20/05/2011 09:46

Morning. Barely slept again x

lavandes · 20/05/2011 23:06

Hi ladies xxx

I have had a hard week. Today is one year since we laid Richard's ashes in the rose garden at the crem. We did this so that his children would know where his ashes were should they want to visit in the future (we have a plaque there for that reason).

I found that day more difficult than the funeral. It was so final. To be honest I found that afternoon horrific. But I want to go this weekend. I am very mixed up at the moment.
I will get through this weekend and carry on. I am determined that 'I WILL SURVIVE' I need to for my elder son and my grandchildren xx

shabbapinkfrog · 20/05/2011 23:16

Oh Lavendes - such a difficult day. Just to let you know I am thinking about you. I agree with your determination to 'keep going.' I do that constantly and, for me, it works. Sending my love to you and your family xxx

lavandes · 20/05/2011 23:24

thanks shabs I have been consumed by dates. But I am the only one, even my husband did not remember today, this path is so lonely at times. Is all this 'a mum thing'? x

shabbapinkfrog · 20/05/2011 23:31

Yes I think it is Lavendes. Our next day is June 30th...my Matty's 27th birthday....I must admit though - my boys birthdays never feel like a sad day. It is a day of great celebration for me....a day of thanksgiving xxx

Awwww Tom has entered a competition on Facebook to win tickets, travel and spending money to see Ellie Golding in concert and to meet her. He is obsessed with her he just said 'OMG Mum I have a 1 in a million chance of winning the prize....can you imagine if I won....I would be very shy....would you come with me. IF I could fix it for him (sound like Jimmy Saville) I really, really would do it in a heartbeat.

lavandes · 20/05/2011 23:38

Awww if there was any justice in this world he would win. I am going to bed now and I will pray for your Tom to win. If only life was fair he would win. Hope you sleep well tonight. xxx

shabbapinkfrog · 20/05/2011 23:40

Thank you love. Sleep well. See you in the morning xxxxxx

shabbapinkfrog · 21/05/2011 06:29

Morning girls xx

CazandBelle · 21/05/2011 10:58

Morning all.

Its the 21st. The last 21st before Belle's birthday. I cannot believe we are on the last countdown to it being a year.

CheeseandGherkins · 21/05/2011 14:29

Afternoon.

lavandes sounds so hard for you right now, thinking of you.

shabba I hope he wins too, fingers crossed

Caz I have that to come still, can only imagine how hard it must be for you and how you must feel :( Will be 6 months for us in June, couple of weeks. Thinking of you now too

lavandes · 21/05/2011 16:28

Good afternoon ladies xx

Thanks cheese I have been struggling, it is so difficult to try to appear normal to the world if you see what I mean. I have been feeling sorry for myself, thinking 'why me?'. It will pass.

Such a difficult time caz but we are to help you through. Is baby Bow starting to show? xx

CazandBelle · 21/05/2011 17:10

We've been out for a walk this afternoon. It was really peaceful and just what we needed I think.

Blimey baby Bow has been showing for weeks. 8 weeks and I looked like I'd put on weight and was starting to "round", by 10 weeks people were guessing and now I'm about as big as I was at 20 weeks I'm sure with Belle! Proper rounded bump! 15+4 weeks today. There's a post on my blog lavandes that'll show you how big I was 2 weeks ago, and I'm a little big bigger again now and tummy a lot harder looking. DH will do some more photographs in a few weeks. Blog

lavandes · 21/05/2011 17:37

Are you sure baby Bow has not got a little friend in there caz xx

CazandBelle · 21/05/2011 17:51

Haha! I've 4 scans now lavandes definitely only the one!

Original poster

frasersmummy · 21/05/2011 17:54

Thanks for posting the link caz.. what a beautiful blog .. with some fantastic piccies

Anabelle's headstone is really pretty .. a fitting memorial to your baby girl.

I love your bump pictures too...

OP posts:

Minione · 21/05/2011 19:24

Hi Caz, gosh that is some bump! Lovely photos x

lavandes · 21/05/2011 22:47

Youv'e got a beautiful bouncing baby Bow in there caz but you never know just ask shabs take care and remember we are all here for you xxx

shelleylou · 21/05/2011 22:50

Lavandes i concentrate on dates it seams to me to be a blessing and a curse i can remember the last time i saw db, when i saw him afterwards funeral etc It took me quite a while not to mark every month.
Caz wow at bump its lovely... youd make me broody if i wasnt already expecting. Working out the difference in dates im guessing you due 2nd week of november?

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