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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

the grotty man thread!

332 replies

dsrplus8haggisandneeps · 26/01/2009 17:21

ok girls time to spill, whats the most revolting bad habit the man/son/male in your life does, lets be honest ? dh farts a lot, but worse than that if he drops a chocolate biscuiteon the floor he'll pick it up, blow on it as if that decontaminates it from bacteria and eats it. yuck! hve accidentally broken some crockery chucking it at him when ive caught him doing this!

OP posts:
lou33 · 27/01/2009 18:19

my wholenut dairy milk chocolate suddenly seems less appealing

IamLeticiaDean · 27/01/2009 18:22

He was older, controlling and heavily into emotional blackmail (I was only 16). To think if I hadn't grown some balls I'd still be with his clinkers now.

lou33 · 27/01/2009 18:40

your balls are cleaner than his i hope

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 27/01/2009 21:02

Thanks guys have just caught up, still howling i tried to read earlier but dd1 kept asking what was "so funny mummy" not much you could really say to a 3 yr old!!

Lou i have to say I think you and Dash are neck and neck for the trophy now and I can't wait for dash's confessions on thursday...

keep them coming ladies I'm not sure that they could get anymore digusting, the bar is pretty high not but I'm not eating atm so prepared to chance it!!!

bellawella · 27/01/2009 23:13

Oh my word IamLeticiaDean - clinkers!! And he asked you to rim him??????

Thankfully DP doesn't suffer from those. He is very clean, his arse just seems to sweat unbelievably during the night leading to that night time itching and the pooey finger problem!

As for the pooey nose, it was he that noticed that and fortunately before he came face to face with any colleagues. He thought he'd got dog poo on his shoe and when he realised he hadn't I think he followed a process of elimination. Whether this involved the realisation that he also had a pooey finger I do not know but he managed to have a wash and sort himself out before being discovered by anyone else.

And the pooey brown streak - well I noticed that as soon as he got off me. I remember screaming 'get it off me' over and over again while he was laughing hysterically and trying to apologise while bringing reams of wet (clean tho!) toilet paper into the bedroom whilst stark bollock naked. It was actually very funny and I ended up laughing as well but I have never let him forget it.

These posts are fantastic though - this is one of my favourite ever threads!!

Clinkers tho?? Fantastic!

Dropdeadfred · 27/01/2009 23:17

Belawella - i take my hat off to you for being able to see the funny side...

Think my wedding ring would have been thrown out the door after I'd kicked out him and his pooey ring!

spinspinsugar · 28/01/2009 03:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spinspinsugar · 28/01/2009 03:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 · 28/01/2009 09:50

am not sure if i feel proud or not at being in the running for the award

DaphneMoon · 28/01/2009 12:53

I have just caught up with this thread, I am literally crying with laughter here.

TheNinkynork · 28/01/2009 13:01

I caught headlice, scabies and impetigo from my ExH. I also found out from one of his workmates that he was known for going into the back of his works van for a wank.

To be fair I once pissed in his bathwater when he was being a twat so I am pretty grotty myself

DaphneMoon · 28/01/2009 13:03

LOL Ninky

downbutnotout · 28/01/2009 13:07

Today I was revolted by my FIL licking his knife during lunch and then putting it into the butter. Having read this thread I think maybe I should lighten up.

SmallShips · 28/01/2009 14:59

ROFL at this thread.

Thought my DH was bad!

sweetgrapes · 28/01/2009 17:20

OMG! I appreciate Dh sooooo much more now!
All he does is pick his nose a little and pick fluff from his belly button.

Stayingsunnygirl · 28/01/2009 18:46

You ladies have reduced me to tears of laughter, and my dh to absolute silence!! He had to leave the room, he was so shocked at the tampon story!!!!

He seems reasonably clean in comparison to some chaps mentioned here.

IamLeticiaDean · 28/01/2009 19:30

Ha ha Sunnygirl. I was telling my DP about it and he toldme to stop. Now everytime he does anything wrong I threaten to post about him on mumsnet.

dsrplus8 · 28/01/2009 20:23

,

TheYearOfTheCat · 28/01/2009 20:32

Mine sounds so tame in comparison. I went out with a chap who kept sleepwalking and going for a pee in various corners of my bedroom.

Like a confused elderly cat I suppose.

solidgoldbullet4myvalentine · 30/01/2009 15:39

I'm mildly startled that anyone minds the eatin-jizz thing, though. I mean, don't you?

lou33 · 30/01/2009 17:13

that bit doesnt bother me, but when they want to eat it after its been shot up someones arse then i think it's a step too far

oldraver · 30/01/2009 20:25

Dashboard.....I did laugh at the speculum plus torch as been there. Was with my ex and a couple they play with, when I mentioned I couldn't feel my coil string.... cue two men, one holding speculum one holding torch having a good shuftie

Had to go and check with gp, told her ex couldn't find it she said he woudln'e see it without said equipment... her trainee was open mouther when I said he had his own

TheYearOfTheCat · 30/01/2009 21:20

oldraver - do I understand right? Are you into swinging?

lou33 · 30/01/2009 21:24

in my case, i asked the bloke who offered me a speculum adventure why he had one, and he told me his ex used to let him, he liked exploring....

BettySwollux · 30/01/2009 21:38

I never thought I'd be so happy that DH wanks in bed and shoots on the duvet cover.
This is probably his worst trait (or maybe sniffing his finger after scratching his arse)

Clinkers - PMSL
In fact this whole thread is hilarious!