the grotty man thread!

[dsrplus8haggisandneeps]

ok girls time to spill, whats the most revolting bad habit the man/son/male in your life does, lets be honest ? dh farts a lot, but worse than that if he drops a chocolate biscuiteon the floor he'll pick it up, blow on it as if that decontaminates it from bacteria and eats it. yuck! hve accidentally broken some crockery chucking it at him when ive caught him doing this!

anal beads are a better thought than anal beards tho arent they?

look what i found

er depends what you do with them- no if as in jackass: flying a kite from butt using beads as anchor!,

omg there is a band called anal beard!!!

am not that into kite flying luckily

I have to name change for this one!

DP has a 'sweaty crack' and although he washes very regularly he has an annoying habit of scratching his arse in the night - when he claims he's asleep - and wiping his fingers on the bedding. I am so sick of poo streaks on the fitted sheet....

He has then scratched his nose in the night and wondered where the smell of poo was coming from all day (smeared around his nose), gone to work with a pooey finger when he's got up late and this is the worst....

years ago when we hadn't been together long he sat on me while I gave him a BJ and when he got off me I had a pooey brown streak down my stomach. Yukkkkkkkkkkk!

And that is one reason why I said in an earlier namechanged post that I don't do BJs any more.

fook!

Ok, don't know if it will top Dashboard's one, but I have a story from former housemate about her ex boyfriend.
He told her he was having sex with his new girlfriend, and found she'd left her tampon in (yes she was at that time of the month) she said she hadn't, he insisted he could feel it. He got a SUNDAE SPOON and used it to fish the tampon out. Turned out it had been in there about 3 days and apparently smelled like a dead rat. He washed the spoon and put it back in the cutlery drawer.
Thought that was the worst I'd ever hear until reading this thread.

pmsl @ brown streak on stomach. uuuuurgh.

ok ,who was it whos dh went south and returned red faced? cant remember myself, but that deserves a mention.ewww defo grotty man- might have just been bad timing though!

i used to date someone who liked having sex when i was having my period, he would go to work with it smeared all over him as he didnt like washing it off, then send me messages saying he had my blood over his stomach

ewww ann ,,,,thats bogin! dont know whos worse man for spooning, or girl for forgeting it was up there!

another one asked if he could put a speculum inside me so he could have a look

i told him only if i could use it on him first

bellawella I think your DH needs his arse mending! Or lessons in how to wipe it properly - it surely shouldn't leak like that [vomit]

the band anal beard- can you imagine their promo photos -oh nooooooooo!!!!!pmsl

omg!dash , stop it, im running out of tena ladies here!

still looks like anal beads!

speculum man then asked me if i would let him give me an anal douche and after allowed him to dp me with 2 cucumbers

lol that sounds so ridiculous but i swear it is true

oh and i know a guy (not one i have been involved with for once), who liked to splooge up the arse then lick it up as it leaked out afterwards

oh ffs ive got a veg box comming tomorrow, how am i going to not colapse in fits of hysteria i dont know!(you and your cuccumbers)

i did try to compromise by offering him one carrot instead of 2 cucumbers, but he wasnt best pleased