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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

the grotty man thread!

332 replies

dsrplus8haggisandneeps · 26/01/2009 17:21

ok girls time to spill, whats the most revolting bad habit the man/son/male in your life does, lets be honest ? dh farts a lot, but worse than that if he drops a chocolate biscuiteon the floor he'll pick it up, blow on it as if that decontaminates it from bacteria and eats it. yuck! hve accidentally broken some crockery chucking it at him when ive caught him doing this!

OP posts:
dashboardconfessionals · 27/01/2009 00:14

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dsrplus8 · 27/01/2009 00:14

well ive heard of "carrot and stick" before but thats just too far!

AnnVan · 27/01/2009 00:15

Oh one from my OTHER housemate. A male friend of hers decided to find out what anal sex is like, so microwaved a carrot, lubed it with shampoo and sat on it. She was most annoyed that it was her carrot. He said the shampoo stung.

AnnVan · 27/01/2009 00:16

LOL @ carrot and stick.
Oh dear. Now this is a thread I can't tell DP about

bellawella · 27/01/2009 00:16

I know dear ladies, I know. I've bought moist bog roll and insisted he wash before bed but methinks his arse will be the death of him. Probably inflicted by me. And don't get me started on his farting problem....

I have actually googled charcoal filter underpants.

lou33 · 27/01/2009 00:16

haha they are not all located close to me thank goodness

one was essex, one is in wales, one is in kent, one is local

saying my exh used to blow his nose on his dirty socks and leave them stuffed down the sofa seems a bit tame now

dsrplus8 · 27/01/2009 00:16

im thinking that you two have the same ex!

lou33 · 27/01/2009 00:17

can someone tell me why the carrot would be microwaved and shampooed?

was it a hot date

dsrplus8 · 27/01/2009 00:18

lou you have grotty man radar or something?

lou33 · 27/01/2009 00:18

lol is it grotty or just dirty boys pushing their boundaries?

lou33 · 27/01/2009 00:19

tho i should clarify that dirty boys is an expression only, they were all 30 or above

dsrplus8 · 27/01/2009 00:20

pmsl at "hot date", fooking bunny boiler, anonnoyed at "her carrot" id be more worried about BF who is a vegephille!. thank fook it wasnt an aubergine!

lou33 · 27/01/2009 00:21

the man in my case had laid the veg out before i got there

dsrplus8 · 27/01/2009 00:23

if you ever see him again, run and grab the nearest blender/juicer .that should scare him off! unless you ahem like that sort of thing!

lou33 · 27/01/2009 00:25

i think that was the last time i saw him

was last year, he was a temporary plaything for me

bellawella · 27/01/2009 00:26

Dear lou33, as much as my DP's arse bothersome I do find a bloke wanting to go to work with menstrual blood smeared over him very, very strange! I've never met a bloke who wants to come near me at that time and I don't think I want to. Yuk!

lou33 · 27/01/2009 00:26

thats the one i find least weird out of my reportings lol

lou33 · 27/01/2009 00:27

lots of blokes wont go near, but there are some who dont mind or even like it

doesnt bother me if i am on

ThePregnantHedgeWitch · 27/01/2009 00:33

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bellawella · 27/01/2009 00:47

Yep lou, fair enough the cucumber and bum licking afterwards are worse! I cannot disagree.

I'm quite grateful really that I only have to contend with pooey sheets every now and again.

Reading these very entertaining posts, the only words that come to mind are those from the Catherine Tate Show..

'Derrrty bastards'

LadyOfWaffle · 27/01/2009 02:11

"cupping his balls with the ladle" !!! I actually cried!

DH has a few gross ways - the worst is the 'double flusher'. Our loo flush is abit weak and DHs don't alays go in one flush. Sometimes at night he won't wait for loo to fill again, so I know lid down means I need to give it a flush first!

One of my exs wanked into a sock too and jizzed up the curtain.

By far the worst in my mind though was a really weird (brief, very brief) ex who had a boil (?) on his neck that was massive and crusty. He would always pick it and would have blood everywhere. I went to his house once and his pillow cases were smeared in blood and there was bloody tissues everywhere. He even left them in my kitchen once. One day I put some healing cream on a cut and he asked me to put some on his weeping boil. I said no, you do it but he said I had to and would if I loved him (I didn't love him but felt pressured so did it). He told me later the real reason he lost his job wasn't he quit, but he kept picking this boil at work - the fish counter in Tesco! The same time as the bloody bed/tissue incident he quickly grabbed something from his chest of drawers, but I had seen it - it was a used condom, but the contents had turned red??? and you could smell it [heave]. He also wore saggy faded green pants, actual pants like a little boy - not even Y fronts. I ran a mile, fricking weirdo!

AnnVan · 27/01/2009 02:22

Oh god LOW that's pretty bloody rank!!

LadyOfWaffle · 27/01/2009 02:37

Boom boom! I know... I saw him once when we went to the coast - 150 miles away and there he was, reading the signpost/map! I walked very quickly back to the car! His middle name was Chevy aswell (after the car) and I saw a picture of him as a toddler and he had a mullett and a gold hoop earring! I laughed and he really didn't take kindly to that.

Dropdeadfred · 27/01/2009 09:05

I don't know whether to be smug or bereft that I cannot think of any instances of dirty man habits to add to this thread.

But I need to know if bellawella's dh knew he'd wiped poo on her stomach and also whther she told him he had poo round his nose...what did you/he say??

lou33 · 27/01/2009 09:43

poo round the nose keeps making me laugh loudly