Friend left before paying her round.

[Sophiehoney]

Hi everyone,
I need a sanity check on a situation from my local tonight, as DH and I are completely disagreeing on this.
We were out at the pub with a large group of 9 people. We were drinking in rounds. 7 people had bought a round, and it was down to either this one woman, let's call her Sarah, or one other person next.
Suddenly, Sarah announced she had to leave immediately because her babysitter had an issue and needed to go. She said a quick goodbye to everyone and dashed out. However, she didn’t mention the rounds at all, didn't offer to leave any cash, and didn't mention sending a bank transfer to cover her share. She had consumed several free drinks at this point.
After she left, the rest of the group talked about it and everyone agreed it was incredibly rude to "ghost" the round like that, especially when she’d benefited from 7 other people paying.
When DH and I got home, he said the group was being far too harsh on her because it was a childcare emergency and her mind was probably all over the place. I disagree, I think even in a rush, you could text the group chat from the taxi to offer to send money or even just acknowledge it in some way before you leave by saying you will sort it next time. Leaving the remaining people to cover the deficit feels out of order.
So, AIBU? Was she a CF, or should she get a free pass because of the babysitter emergency?

Probably after 7 already it's a good time to go home.

Yeah thats super cheeky. One of the reasons I never drink in rounds.

Nope, she’s cheeky.

Has she done this before?

Do you think it was a genuine emergency?

Maybe have a kitty when the number of people in the round is likely to exceed the number of rounds in future

Wow 7 drinks!
You people can drink!

She knew what she was doing!Maybe when you all go out to drink again, ask her to buy the first round as she had to leave early last time.

this is your friend. fucking hell , can’t you buy your friend a drink ?

Not the point of the thread but I always question my life choices a bit when people are aghast on MN about others having 7 drinks on a night out 🙈

She was probably more distracted by her childcare situation. Just get her to buy the first round next time.

Depends if it’s a total one off or if she’s a frequent offender

There was a childcare problem, she was distracted. Sheesh, you’re not great friends

Drinking in rounds with 9 people is stupid, are you all expected to have 9 drinks to keep it exactly equal? I only do turn taking if I'm drinking with one or two other people. I'm not stingy, I offer anyone a drink if chatting with someone I know and I'm about to go to the bar and I don't keep tabs or expect one back.

Do they regularly not pay their way/round? If it’s a one off, I would let it go especially if they had childcare issues.

Has anyone checked if she/the dc are ok?
(or is this a common occurrence for her to leave due to childcare emergencies?)

I guess we all have different circumstances and different ways of treating friends but if one of my friends had to leave due to an emergency it would be genuine and I would be very concerned. I would worry that the babysitter or dc had become very unwell or some similar circumstances. I don’t think I’d even register the friend hadn’t paid for a round.

If she is a friend I would be more concerned about her family emergency than the fact she left before standing her round.

This.

I am not judgey about drinking. I like a drink, or several, but nine drinks in one night would be beyond even my comfort zone. That seems like a ridiculously large round and you should have either set up a kitty or agreed everyone bought their own drinks

I can only presume she has form for this, because if not, you’re all quite shitty ‘friends’

It is unhealthy to do rounds if there are more than three people.
Unreasonable to stay there for hours.
Read up about recommended drinks per week, per day and the risks to health.

Your friend will be first to shout a round next time. She will remember. Her emergency was her priority.

I’m surprised anyone could remember whose round it was!

🥱

I thought drinking in rounds went out of style in the 80s? Precisely because of situations like this.

YANBU but personally I wouldn’t sign up to this in the first place.

🤣🤣🤣

The image of you all stubbornly refusing to go home until everyone has paid for their round. The answer is to have a “whip” and everyone pays in X amount at the beginning of the night then each round is being paid for by all.

If it's a one-off, I'd be concerned about a friend's emergency. But I'm guessing it's not, by your reaction? I've heard lot of stories about cfs, and my grandad used to go on about a bloke on a TV show who always missed his round, but I've never known a round dodger irl.
If she is one, just get her to buy first next week.