Friend left before paying her round.

[Sophiehoney]

Hi everyone,
I need a sanity check on a situation from my local tonight, as DH and I are completely disagreeing on this.
We were out at the pub with a large group of 9 people. We were drinking in rounds. 7 people had bought a round, and it was down to either this one woman, let's call her Sarah, or one other person next.
Suddenly, Sarah announced she had to leave immediately because her babysitter had an issue and needed to go. She said a quick goodbye to everyone and dashed out. However, she didn’t mention the rounds at all, didn't offer to leave any cash, and didn't mention sending a bank transfer to cover her share. She had consumed several free drinks at this point.
After she left, the rest of the group talked about it and everyone agreed it was incredibly rude to "ghost" the round like that, especially when she’d benefited from 7 other people paying.
When DH and I got home, he said the group was being far too harsh on her because it was a childcare emergency and her mind was probably all over the place. I disagree, I think even in a rush, you could text the group chat from the taxi to offer to send money or even just acknowledge it in some way before you leave by saying you will sort it next time. Leaving the remaining people to cover the deficit feels out of order.
So, AIBU? Was she a CF, or should she get a free pass because of the babysitter emergency?

Your post is giving tight and pedantic, OP. I'd find that so un-nice in a friendship.

How are you even able to type after SEVEN drinks ??!!

9 drinks, on a Wednesday night, and your OP is better written than 80% of the openers on MN! Kudos!

If you are going to take this attitude just buy your own drinks!? It's ridiculous to do rounds in a group of 9 people and expect everyone to have a turn. Is everyone expected to drink 9 drinks??

this - if there’s 9 people then at least someone would be not buying a round every time I go out, so this would be a non issue!

7 drinks on a Wednesday night? Do none of you have work in the morning?!

If all 7 drinks were alcoholic, my main concern here would be that she's leaving to be responsible for children. If you're going out intending to drink that much, you really need an all night babysitter. I'd be very concerned about anyone being in charge of children after consuming that much alcohol, especially in what appears to be just a few hours.

Either the emergency was genuine, or she realised she couldn't currently afford a round and bailed. Whatever the reason, a genuine friend would let this one go if it's a one off, knowing she'll likely make it up another time. What's a round of drinks between friends? If I buy a friend a drink, I don't automatically expect one back that night. Sometimes it happens, but if we stop after one drink, which I've paid for, I know they'll repay the favour another time. That's how friendship works. I've never kept a running tab in my head of who owes who a drink.

If it's not a one off, more fool the rest of you for plying someone with drinks who you know doesn't pay their way.

Agreed! Say drinking 9, one every half an hour, so from around 7 - 11.30, good going!

Same... So funny... 7 drinks on a night out isnt much imo 🤣🫠🫣🫣🫣🫣🫣

It is unhealthy to do rounds if there are more than three people.
Unreasonable to stay there for hours

🤣.

9? Bunch of pussies

Althoigh i wouldnt be drinking 9 drinks if i was going back to children

Unless she has form, she probably just forgot

7 rounds. What the...lol

I’m that person who spots this at the outset and just suggests small rounds or a kitty. 9 drinks in London can easily be a £100 round. And mine is half a Moretti or Peroni,

I think we need more info op.

Exactly what was the childcare issue? Was the child poorly? If so, your friend was probably concentrating on that on the way home. How old is the child?

Alternatively has she done this before or has she always paid for rounds?

Out of curiosity, what do you with friends who don’t drink or who can only handle 2 drinks? 🤣

Most women I know couldn’t take 7 drinks. Some men yes, but no women I know.

I wouldn't give a toss and would certainly not start a thread gossiping about it on MN.

How are the children more importantly?

Unless she has form for this you are awful friends!

What was the emergency then?

Yeah, this. I think you're pretty unreasonable.

I am impressed she could dash anywhere after 7, I presume alcoholic, drinks 🫢
I'd have been under the table 5 rounds previously 😂

Yes I was just calculating what my post would have liked like after 7 glasses of wine. Terrible or non existent as I’d have passed out before posting.

Agree with the others. What’s the context here? Does she have form for this kind of thing? If not and she normally pays her way then I think YABU. If it’s a genuine one off then of course she’s going to be more occupied with the babysitter issue than caring about it potentially being her round in the pub. If you believe that it was a genuine issue with her DC then I’m baffled (because this is mn after-all) that you are even thinking about whose round it was??!

If this is a regular thing then (or even if it’s not) then I doubt that going out regularly and buying rounds for 9 or so people suits everyone in the group. It seems crazy. Maybe you could be the one to suggest people just get there own drinks going forward, or if there is a couple or 2 close friends in the group they could just sort themselves out?

What happens if someone drinks at a slower pace then the others r? Does someone end up with 3 pints/ white wines/ diet cokes next to them just to ensure they get their money’s worth?

Are there any non drinkers in the group? Nine Diet cokes / AF beers? No thanks!

I’d let this one go and think about how this works for future pub meet ups.

I hope your friend’s DC were ok.

She’s had 7 people buy her a drink
then cleared off
I’d be really annoyed and message and say you owe me xxx

Exactly this - everyone be saying she should buy the first round - that would make her level with the previous drinking session. She’d presumably still be expected to pay for the next session next one as well?

Also there may have been soft drinks ok the mix, not everyone drinking alcohol - so not necessarily a mass drinking orgy - but likely to have been.

This has stirred up a depressing memory of when I was a student and my vile older brother would invite me out with his friends and insist I join in with rounds knowing that I would order a coke or water for several of their rounds to keep up but always pay for their alcohol. Some of his friends got wise to this and stood up for me telling me not to do it. He was and is a cunt 😒

Personally, I could never have 7/9 drinks, alcohol or otherwise….im obviously a lightweight Happy within my choice though.