Friend left before paying her round.

[Sophiehoney]

Hi everyone,
I need a sanity check on a situation from my local tonight, as DH and I are completely disagreeing on this.
We were out at the pub with a large group of 9 people. We were drinking in rounds. 7 people had bought a round, and it was down to either this one woman, let's call her Sarah, or one other person next.
Suddenly, Sarah announced she had to leave immediately because her babysitter had an issue and needed to go. She said a quick goodbye to everyone and dashed out. However, she didn’t mention the rounds at all, didn't offer to leave any cash, and didn't mention sending a bank transfer to cover her share. She had consumed several free drinks at this point.
After she left, the rest of the group talked about it and everyone agreed it was incredibly rude to "ghost" the round like that, especially when she’d benefited from 7 other people paying.
When DH and I got home, he said the group was being far too harsh on her because it was a childcare emergency and her mind was probably all over the place. I disagree, I think even in a rush, you could text the group chat from the taxi to offer to send money or even just acknowledge it in some way before you leave by saying you will sort it next time. Leaving the remaining people to cover the deficit feels out of order.
So, AIBU? Was she a CF, or should she get a free pass because of the babysitter emergency?

If she was having an emergency and already had 7 drinks chances are she wasn’t even thinking about everyone’s next drink

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Well hasnt she got nice friends!?!?

She has a childcare emergency and all you care about is being paid back immediately for some drinks?

Who does rounds with that many people?

Surely she can just get the first round next time?

If you accept drinks in a round you buy your round end of story.

All these people saying she probably forgot - I find that hard to believe. If you really do forget these sorts of things (buying your round) then you are an awful person!

Jeez, you people can drink! I’d be comatose.
Unless she has form for this, you are being unreasonable. I would not have even thought about her round.

I’m not the greatest at maths, but it’s only cost you all the all the price of 1 drink (each), and for all we know she might be drinking Lime and Soda, and the rest of you are on the cocktails.

…your rounds are too big, 9 people must drink at different rates.

I’ll buy a round when I’m out, and I don’t really expect a drink back, I’m buying it because I want to buy a drink for my friends, not as a transaction(this may be because I don’t go out much)

Rounds as a group of nine is silly.

Also, as a few have asked, did you and your husband buy separate rounds? Was she the only single one?

9 rounds on a school night? I can drink but that really is going some. I won’t get into rounds with such a big group, it’s obvious not everyone would get a turn.

How does someone get away with doing it regularly, why are the group putting up with it?

Here to find out if OP was really expecting to have to NINE drinks on a Wednesday 😂

I love wine and drink plenty but NINE?

I think either asking everyone to contribute x for a kitty upfront to cover all the rounds or splitting the group in half, for rounds is sensible. I couldn’t drink more than 4! When I was younger we’d go rounds in pairs with someone who drinks similarly to us so mine was a friend who would drink cider and slowly. Others in the group drank shots and fast.

I can see being flustered in the face of an emergency and also feeling she had to rush home. Figuring out how to pay 7 different people back on the fly when she might not have had cash to leave or everyone's information to send money could have delayed her substantially. I think in my friend group if that had happened and it was a one-off for her we'd probably just tell her to go and that she can get the first round next time.

I would better stay at home than entertain myself like this. If you worry about £15 or £20 I don't understand why do you do rounds?
If she really had emergency she would be mortified to find out that you made such a drama for a drink.

Next time you go out you just say ‘first rounds on you’ - if she’s genuinely forgotten as it was an emergency she’ll be like ‘gosh, I forgot all about it , sorry - of course!’ If she is a CF, then you’re only matching her energy.

I’ve spent 30 years being a sucker and I hate injustice but since the hormonal shifts in pregnancy made me be a bit more confident in confronting injustice, I’ve continued and I tell you what, it gives you power!

People talking about kitty’s …. it’s not 1995. who has cash on them these days 🤷🏼‍♀️

Also 7 half lagers or a GnT isn’t an obscene amount IMO. Particularly the shit spirit measures you get in the UK … it’ll be mostly tonic with a flavouring of gin.

Having the sole responsibility of children after 7 drinks, let alone what otherwise would have been 9 is a safeguarding issue.

Thankfully I don't believe this post, that situation can't be real!

You are? Why? Seven drinks in one evening is a LOT, and way more than the government guidelines for how much to consume in one go. The drinks were probably more than one unit of alcohol each. At least 14 units in about three hours. That is crazy.

Um, when going out with a group and you know there will be a kitty you pop to the cash point and bring some cash

Thats the point of it, it seems to be engagement farming to get you to question it and debate if 7 drinks is too much or not. They could have said 3 drinks but by saying 7 you have people debating how many drinks is reasonable as well as the “children being more important than paying your round” debate. These types of threads are increasingly common now. People are debating with bots.

Agreed. I'd just make her first next time. You each bought her a drink costing a fiver, I'd move on. Were you expecting her to PayPal someone cash to buy a round or something? Surely in such a large round someone often has to leave early?

Well that's what happens with rounds. You win some you lose some. Next time make sure she gets the first in

How do you know it was in 3 hours. I can drink that in a night out, I don't do it often as it's a lot but some people can drink more than others.

So you were going to vigilantly have nine rounds...so 9 pints, or 9 glasses of wine - wow haven't had a bender like that for a while! I would probably wake up in my clothes with no idea how much I'd spent or who'd bought what.

Ok but she got about 7 free drinks, is that fair?

It is pf course possible that not all of Sarah's drinks were alcoholic.