Friend left before paying her round.

[Sophiehoney]

Hi everyone,
I need a sanity check on a situation from my local tonight, as DH and I are completely disagreeing on this.
We were out at the pub with a large group of 9 people. We were drinking in rounds. 7 people had bought a round, and it was down to either this one woman, let's call her Sarah, or one other person next.
Suddenly, Sarah announced she had to leave immediately because her babysitter had an issue and needed to go. She said a quick goodbye to everyone and dashed out. However, she didn’t mention the rounds at all, didn't offer to leave any cash, and didn't mention sending a bank transfer to cover her share. She had consumed several free drinks at this point.
After she left, the rest of the group talked about it and everyone agreed it was incredibly rude to "ghost" the round like that, especially when she’d benefited from 7 other people paying.
When DH and I got home, he said the group was being far too harsh on her because it was a childcare emergency and her mind was probably all over the place. I disagree, I think even in a rush, you could text the group chat from the taxi to offer to send money or even just acknowledge it in some way before you leave by saying you will sort it next time. Leaving the remaining people to cover the deficit feels out of order.
So, AIBU? Was she a CF, or should she get a free pass because of the babysitter emergency?

With a group that large best not to do rounds - everyone just buys their own

Wouldn't want you as a friend if all your bothered about was payment of the next round in a family emergency no matter what it was. I would have been texting a supportive text then a how are you all the next day like a good friend should.

You must mix with a wealthy crowd if you can all afford to buy rounds for 9 people. And presumably you must all be heavy drinkers.
Who knows the real reason for her leaving. Next time let her buy her own drinks.

I hate rounds, how does it work if you have different drinks!? Like if I’m on vodka lime soda for £8 a go, Jane is on pints at £6, Alice likes a double gin and tonic for £12, unless you literally all drink the same thing then someone is losing out! Plus in a group of that many you would always feel you HAD to have a drink when someone else was drinking.
My husband can drink 2 pints to my one large glass of wine, yet I can drink almost 2 margaritas to his cider, how would it ever work to share the exact time and the exact price of a drink.

YABU buy your own. Or accept that sometimes you’ll get stung!

I love a drink and on a night out I can drink a lot by MN standards, but even I wouldn't do rounds with nine people and expect to get back to the beginning.

Jesus, give her a break, she’s had SEVEN drinks. She’s OFF HER FACE.

I’d be giving her the chance to message to explain she’ll get the first one in next time … unless she has had so many she won’t remember @Sophiehoney but if she hasn’t said anything in a day or two (and assuming there isn’t an ongoing emergency) I’d be thinking she was a bit cheeky

I would have thought that after 7 drinks you would have lost count!

7 drinks in is irresponsible if you have a child. I’m not surprised she didn’t say anything, she’s probably extremely drunk.

You’re worried about drinks, she’s worried about her child.

If you can’t afford a round knowing that someone might bow out, or aren’t willing to pay for your friends drink then don’t partake in it. And agreed 9 in a round is plain stupid.

If she has form for this then again you shouldn’t have done rounds. If not you’re all shitty friends

That is a proper session OP! Curious if there is an upper limit, or if there were 16 of you would you all have stayed for 16 drinks to keep it all fair?

This is why I hate rounds unless a very small group (eg just 4)

She’s allowed to leave a night out. After 7 rounds she’s presumably already been there for quite sometime.

Of you do rounds usually does this happen? If not I’d be inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt

Count yourself lucky, I'd have been throwing up on you after 7 rounds!

If it’s not the norm for her to duck out then I’d not think anything of it. If it’s a big deal then next time declare she’s up for getting in the first round next time.

Another option if you do big rounds on a regular basis is do a kitty instead then if someone has to leave before their round you have the funds up front.

I hate rounds. I feel pressured to drink faster to keep up or I finish my drink before everyone else, how does the pacing work? Plus, as someone else mentioned, one person is drinking a pint of lager, another double vodkas, another has cocktails... like fuck am I doing rounds with cocktail drinkers when I drink pints. Your friend might be a CF but as a one off I'd give her the benefit of doubt and think you're all a bit shit slagging her off for it the second she's gone.

Far to much alcohol. Who needs 9 rounds! Stupid system.

First TWO rounds!

You expect everyone to tough it out for 9 rounds. That is not a sustainable system, even for heavy drinkers.

SEVEN!

How the fuck does drinking in rounds with nine people ever work out fairly anyway unless your entire friend group consists of raging alcoholics? Lol. Are you seriously telling me that everyone is expected to stick around for nine rounds of drinks just to make sure nobody ends up paying more than their share? What if someone only wants two or three drinks? What if someone wants to leave early? The whole arrangement sounds absolutely ridiculous, and the fact that you're all sitting around discussing how rude this woman was for leaving because of a childcare emergency makes it even more bizarre.

I've always thought rounds are a silly idea and make no sense. It can never work out fairly for people who don't drink much or prefer to drink slowly, and it's just a hassle even taking your turn and remembering people's orders and carrying their drinks. I'm always fine with paying but a kitty or just everyone ordering and paying for themselves makes more sense.

Did you and your husband buy a round each as part of the 7? were there any other couples?

9 rounds is some going! Sounds very pressurised and not much fun. What time did you start and finish this session?

I agree with your DH you’re being harsh, of course kids are going to take priority. She may have every intention of getting the drinks in next time, give her a chance! Though I think over the course of a friendship these things even out.

I don’t see the appeal of rounds at all with big groups, even with no emergency surely it’s not uncommon for someone to have had enough or drink more slowly. The obligation and duty of it hardly screams fun night out!

Doesn't it depend on what the emergency was and whether not it was an actual emergency? If it was a real emergency, cut her some slack. (Especially after she'd been drinking all night and may have been fuzzy-headed.) If you think it wasn't such an emergency after all or she's done this type of thing before, then you may have a reason to be annoyed. Either way, this system doesn't make much sense, and this is as good a time as any to shake things up and do things differently.

She knew what she was doing!

You do realise that you have no way of knowing that, don't you?