Selling inherited house when sibling living in it

[Dutchhouse14]

Our DM passed away a few months ago and her will divides everything equally between me and my 2 siblings.
Im the sole executor.
Dsis ,mid 50s, has always lived at home, never moved out. Towards the end of mums life she became her carer.
She works limited hours although she has increased these with overtime since mum passed away but full time contracts are non existent in her sector.
Shes used to pay a small amount of housekeeping but this stopped when she was made redundant from full time work about 10 years ago.
DMs house is in a bad state of repair, none of us can afford to maintain it . Me and my other sibling want to sell.
But DSis is resisting ,not replying to texts, avoiding phones calls, went out when estates agents came round for valuations etc
She has limited income and savings but could get a small mortgage and with proceeds of sale she could get a 1 bed flat.
My other sibling agrees we need to sell but doesn't want to upset dsis and is generally very good at avoidance! They are happy to give Dsis a much bigger share ie 50% I would prefer 40% which i think is realistic for dsis to buy somewhere.
So ive become the wicked witch of the West in Dsis eyes and shes taking it all out on me, well basically stopped talking to me.
WIBU to put the house on the market?
Probate has been granted.
Anyone know what the legal situation is?
I dont want to fall out with Dsis, I love her, but she seems filled with resentment for me and frankly has said some very hurtful things.
Ive always been there for her but shes never ever reciprocated or supported me when ive needed it.
Although I live with DH and DC, the money would really help my future, my pension etc and I dont want to give my share to Dsis, which is what I think she really wants as shes used to being in charge of DMs money , always lived here so I think basically considers everything as hers.
Just dont know how to move things forward or if im being unreasonable selling the house and wanting my share

Seek legal advice.

Sell house.

Divide money into 3. You get 1/3.

What your 2 siblings do with the 2/3 isn't up to you.

Yes - agree. If your mum had wanted it any other way she'd have made another will.

Yes you should sell it. Might also be worth saying to her that you’ll all get more money if she’s cooperative (tidying, arranging viewings etc)

Your dm should've seen this was going to happen and left the whole thing to her dd living there as you and your other dsis have your own homes.

As she didn't all you can do is get legal advice and get it on the market if you dont want to let her carry on living there. Such a shame for everyone involved that it's come to this.

Sorry about your dm

You need legal advice. You can put it on the market without her consent, but you can’t legally agree a sale if she objects. You will have to go to court to obtain an Order of Sale.

This is why a will is very important especially when one adult child still lives at home.

im not sure of the logistics of selling it when your sister is being difficult , but I’d sell and then split it 3 ways equally.

your sister must have known that would be the situation when your mum passed.

Seek legal advice. Then give Dsis a date for when it's going on the market. You'll want rid before you get something like subsidence or a roof replacing if it's been a bit neglected over the years. I would imagine your sister might come looking for financial help at that point so I'd want rid.

Go to court and get an order to sell the house. It’s really unfair for your dsis to expect you all to forgo your inheritance to accommodate her. She can buy something with her share of the money.

I don't know about the legalities of selling a house when someone's still living there who doesn't want it sold - but when you finally do sell it the money absolutely should be split into 1/3s as per your mum's wishes.

Difficult situation. But the will is the will. If your DS can't buy you out, the house has to be sold and the money divided as per the will. I would point out to your DS that this is going to happen: either now with agreement or with a court order.

You could also go to mediation or family therapy/relationship counselling. All three of you. Having a place to all be heard and understand each others perspectives would help as you navigate the next steps. Direct to legal forcing her out of the house could permanently damage the relationship.
Obviously she will have to leave the house, but this is a huge emotional upheaval for her. It’s not about the money.

I feel for you being in this difficult situation.

I would give her ‘notice’ so say you’re going to sell in January. Ie time to sort stuff out.

The money you get should be split according g to the will, ie a third each. Thats what your mum wanted. Also, your dsis has already benefitted from living there cheaply.

If your siblings want to give her more, than that’s their prerogative. .

This should be a last option, it will be ridiculously expensive and will do no good for family relations. Try mediation with sister first.

You need legal advice your sister may have an overriding right of occupation which will need to be considered.

I feel so sorry for your sister, who has always lived in the family home, and was your mums carer, she is in a horrible position.
Given that you dont seem to be in need of the money at this present time, could an agreement with your sister that she pay you and the other sibling rent, now she is working longer hours not be arranged, till at least she comes to terms with a sudden lifechange.?

I am sorry for the loss of your mum. x

If your sister was the main care giver she could contest the will so it's in your best interests to tread carefully.It's going to be a huge life change for your sister despite her knowing this would happen

Your mum has dropped a clanger, she should have written her will to stipulate the house cannot be sold whilst your sister needs a place to live.

Do you know what your mums intentions were? Did she expect your sister would continue to live there after her death. It seems like your sister has worked hard to support her as her carer only for her home to be taken away from her at the end and I can’t see how your mum would want that, or why you would want that either

I think I'd give her a grace period, it's not been long since your mum died, which is really stressful, she was her carer which is really stressful and now she will have to move home which is really stressful. I do have sympathy for you as you're not doing anything wrong. But I'd talk to her. Agree to take it off the market now but put it on in March or something when she will have had almost half a year to get her head around it. Will she be able to afford a home with 30pc? How much did she save you in carers feed or care home fees by looking after your mum? I'd be potentially looking to try and compensate her for some of this by giving her a bit more. Is there any chance of her buying your share from you?

Also

• how much care did she give her (did she nurse your mum through a short illness or was she a full time carer for years?)
• did your mum ever talk about your sister moving out after she was gone?

Given that the average cost of care fees in a residential home is at least 5 grand a month, had your sister not been caring for your mum, there may not have been a house to sell.

Sorry for your loss.

It’s only been a few months, so if you can give her a bit of breathing space, I would. She lived with your mum her whole life and was also her carer. She’s about to lose her home too, so is there scope to take it a little slower?

Sorry again for your loss.

If it’s only been a few months and she cared for your mum could you give her more time, if it’s for your future and pensions what is the hurry. It would have been tough caring for her and now you want to uproot her only a few months later. It’s not a great time to sell at the moment.

Could you revisit next year or do you think that’ll just delay things towards the same situation?

Your sister likely perceives that she has lost your Mum, now will be losing her life and home. You have a DH and DC but mention a 1-bed flat for her. Would she really get a mortgage on part time precarious earnings? Or are you speculating? Does she have any health conditions? Does she have many friends? Being alone in a studio or 1 bed with no one doesn’t sound great either. Appreciate you need to sell but texting and arranging viewings probably overwhelming for her and do still feel for her as any of us be through other being turfed out of our homes too. Could you give her a short deadline so she can process? Do you need the money? If not could she rent from you and DB?

You’re well within your rights OP so don’t feel you’re doing anything wrong. It’s your sis who is being utterly selfish and taking the piss. I hate family members who put you in these situations but remember that she’s happy to screw you over for her own gain and that’s not acceptable

Of course you’re reasonable to follow your mum’s wishes. She didn’t want your sister to have the house or she’d have put that in her will. Get it sold however you can and take the equal share your mum wanted you to have.

Your sister will have benefitted from no housing costs to the tune of tens or thousands over the years, you don’t owe her anything.