Selling inherited house when sibling living in it

[Dutchhouse14]

Our DM passed away a few months ago and her will divides everything equally between me and my 2 siblings.
Im the sole executor.
Dsis ,mid 50s, has always lived at home, never moved out. Towards the end of mums life she became her carer.
She works limited hours although she has increased these with overtime since mum passed away but full time contracts are non existent in her sector.
Shes used to pay a small amount of housekeeping but this stopped when she was made redundant from full time work about 10 years ago.
DMs house is in a bad state of repair, none of us can afford to maintain it . Me and my other sibling want to sell.
But DSis is resisting ,not replying to texts, avoiding phones calls, went out when estates agents came round for valuations etc
She has limited income and savings but could get a small mortgage and with proceeds of sale she could get a 1 bed flat.
My other sibling agrees we need to sell but doesn't want to upset dsis and is generally very good at avoidance! They are happy to give Dsis a much bigger share ie 50% I would prefer 40% which i think is realistic for dsis to buy somewhere.
So ive become the wicked witch of the West in Dsis eyes and shes taking it all out on me, well basically stopped talking to me.
WIBU to put the house on the market?
Probate has been granted.
Anyone know what the legal situation is?
I dont want to fall out with Dsis, I love her, but she seems filled with resentment for me and frankly has said some very hurtful things.
Ive always been there for her but shes never ever reciprocated or supported me when ive needed it.
Although I live with DH and DC, the money would really help my future, my pension etc and I dont want to give my share to Dsis, which is what I think she really wants as shes used to being in charge of DMs money , always lived here so I think basically considers everything as hers.
Just dont know how to move things forward or if im being unreasonable selling the house and wanting my share

Good point.

This will end up very messy. Had a similar situation resulting in my permanent estrangement of relatives. I will have no further with any of them.

I'm in a minority but I would not force a sale, or if it has to be sold I would give your sister a larger share. She did all of the caring for you mum it sounds like, and your inheritance is her home. Unless you were at risk of serious financial ruin I would let it go. She's your sister, it's a recent loss, and her life will be totally upended. What's 'fair' isn't always what's best

My DS lives with my dad as his full time carer, she gave up her job to move in with him and look after him. His will is split 60/40 but we’ve had a conversation between us and there’s no way I’ll be taking my share. She’s given up her whole life and when he’s gone she’ll need help getting back on her feet, I’m not taking the roof from over her head. I have my own home and a very good job, I’ve stood on my own 2 feet since I left home and I don’t want anything. He’s not rich so the inheritance will be just the house. I think she should sell and move to a flat but I think she will want to stay in the house.

Just my situation, but I’d rather my sister be appreciated and rewarded for the care she’s given him. The only thing I’ve asked from her is that she leaves a share to my DD11 in her own will, which she has agreed to.

I work in estate planning so see it from all sides. You need to seek legal advice.

My mom has always said her house will be split three ways. However she said if one of us were living in the house then we are not to sell until that person can move out. But if she’s always lived there then she’s not going to go willingly is she? I’d seek legal advice. Can you not go round when she’s in and speak to her? Could she afford to buy your share?

You aren't wrong in wanting what your Mum left you but a bit of compassion towards your sister who is losing her home wouldn't go amiss.

Maybe wait a year, help get the house sorted, let sister come to terms with this massive change then sell.

So I’ve become the wicked witch of the west in Dsis eyes and she’s taking it all out on me

Thats a bit rich seeing as she wants you to what… just ignore a significant inheritance?

You are of course fully entitled to sell the home and get a third of the estate as per your mothers wishes. The will is clear so if you go to court you will win and an order will be made to sell. I dont know the value of the estate but these legal battles can be incredibly expensive, tens of thousands of pounds at least.

If she refuses to cooperate even after the order it can go back to court again and again until eventually I believe she can be removed and you can sell with empty occupancy but that could easily take the whole value of the estate and destroy the family permanently and will also be hard if your other sibling doesn't agree.

Could you other sibling or someone neutral approach your sister saying the will states that this house is to be sold - how do you think we should proceed? Make her involved in the problem and solution rather than dictate which may make her feel powerless. Ask how she would like to deal with bills, insurance and necessary repairs while she is in the house. Set the parameters as the siblings must get their inheritance as per the will but how would she like to move forward. Don't demand solutions day one but set out the problem and then check in after she's had some time to think.

If she absolutely refuses to engage or does come back to propose she keeps 100% then it may be either to get the avoidant sibling onside. Go and talk to a lawyer together and ask them for an idea of how much this process would cost and likely outcome if its contested. Hopefully she will see sense.

If she absolutely refuses then you will have to go down the legal route but at least avoidant sibling can see you really tried.

She could contest all she likes. Firstly it sounds like she doesn’t have any money to pay a solicitor to do this and secondly, there’s nothing in the will that states that she can live there until the sister dies.

How many years did your sister care for your mum, what kind of care did she need, and did your sis have to curtail her hours to do it?

In my family, when an elderly man who had no children died, one of the nieces and her husband got a much bigger share of the estate, but she was also childless and did all the running around, looked out for him (and his sister before she died), arranged the carers etc, but of course your mum didn't make a will reflecting this. It's tricky, but I do think she deserves slightly more.

Your sister has had free housing all her life so don’t give her a bigger share of the sale! You don’t owe her anything.

If there’s 3 siblings then the sale needs to be split equally. She needs to get a job and rent. You probably need to consult a solicitor on how to force the sale.

That's incredibly harsh.
If the sister was selfish, I doubt she would have opted to be her mothers full time carer, and as pointed out, saving all three siblings 5 grand a month minimum in care home charges.

My priority would be to ascertain the likelihood of the sister being able to successfully challenge the will.

It’s only been a few months since you lost your DM. Obviously you all feel her loss, but it’s reasonable to assume that the person who never left home and lived in the home with DM all of her life is feeling that more acutely.

We all (or most of us) love our parents, but the physical sense of loss is more obvious for someone who spent all of their time with that person, and does not have a separate home or family unit elsewhere. Your DSis is now also faced with losing the only home she knows. I suppose I am saying ‘cut her some slack for now’

It sounds like your DSis could claim that she was financially dependent upon your DM. IANAL but I’m sure that I’ve read this can be a significant factor when challenging a will.

I would suggest legal advice, but also slow things down, give DSis some space and try to negotiate a later date when she will cooperate with the sale of the property.

If you need to take legal action to sell/ remove her from the property it will be a long and potentially expensive process.

Whilst there is probably nothing to stop you putting the property on the market without her cooperation you will realistically limit potential buyers to investors. Would you want to buy a property where the sale is potentially hindered by the occupant refusing to move?

This woman is your sister, who cared for your DM at the end of her life. Unless there is a big back story she is not refusing to move just to be difficult.

Clearly you do eventually need to sell the house as it doesn’t sound like allowing her to stay there long term would even be kind to her if she couldn’t afford necessary repairs, but you don’t have to do everything straight away.

Yes, that's an important point. There wouldn't be much of an inheritance if OP's mum had been in a care home for years.

This. She’s likely saved you all a lot of money and stress by caring for your mum. Do as your other so long says and give her 50% so she can get a suitable place to live. She’s just lost her mum and now she’ll lose her home, it must be hard. Hopefully that will sweeten the deal for her.

Would your sister agree to having the house for life, but leaving 'your' share of the value to your dcs in her Will?
I think, unless you are absolutely in need of the money yourself, she should be allowed to stay in her home for life, or for as long as she wants to do.

You are the executor so YOU are the one is legally, personally liable for the estate to be divided as per the will. If something happens and your other sister suddenly decides she wants her third, it will be on you if that hasn’t been done.

Get your own legal advice, then discuss with both your sisters what has to be done for everyone to get their third, then proceed. Make clear this is because you have legal responsibilities and you have to discharge them.

It’s all well and good everyone discussing the moral aspects of what is right and wrong but the will says what the will says and that is your responsibility as the executor to do just that. Any choices you all then make with what you do with that money should be separate from actually distributing as per the will.

You need the advice of a solicitor, although you can list it for sale, you cannot complete on the sale without her consent.

If she refuses you have to apply for an order for sale, this would be heard at court, she can then put an argument why she should stay. The court would then either force her to vacate or set the order aside, possibly with a time limit or on the basis that when she eventually vacates the house is sold.

She could argue a case under a law called Proprietory Estoppel to stay put, to do this she would need to satisfy the court that a promise was made by your mother that she could stay, this can be purely verbal, and that she acted to her detriment in providing care to your mother (that would be a fairly easy one for her to prove)

In such a case, again it could be ruled that her case usurps the terms of the will and she gets the lot or more likely she is given the right to remain and the property sold on her moving out or death.

That's the law on it, emotional, moral and negotiated outcomes are quite something else, but without her signature you Cann't complete the conveyancing process to sell.

Did your sister forgo work opportunities to look after your Mum? How much did you and your other sister chip in with care? If your sister looking after Mum allowed you to carry on working and safe guard your financial position, then I think 40% is fair. How many decades has she lived in this house? And now you want to force her out months after her Mum died. Your Mum messed up, she should have granted her a life interest in her Will - a right to remain in the property as long is needed. Especially knowing your sister isn't in a good financial position.
Give her some grace and time to adjust, but she should also know that this will happen at X time in the future so she needs to prepare. Good luck.

And this creates the basis of an estoppel case, if the resident sister wished to do such a thing, she may well loose, but it could drag on for a long time.

I have no legal advice but you're absolutely correct to sell it. It's not like she can't afford to buy her own place and if your mothers house is in a bad condition as you said, your sister may find that a manageable 1 bed apartment will be better for her anyway even if she's resisting now

It doesn't need to be in the will, she potentially has a strong set of circumstances to establish a case - OP needs a solicitors advice, but the sister could drag it out for a long time.

I will be in this situation one day. My sister has lived with my mum for many years and does a great deal of care for her. Yes, she has benefited from low living costs but she has put in a huge amount of care, my mum would’ve been in a home years ago if it wasn’t for my sister. I am eternally grateful to her. The house will be split but I have decided that if my sister needs a bit extra from my share I will give it to her to ensure she has somewhere nice to live. I suppose we could end up in a similar situation if she refuses to move but I am in no doubt that she has made a big sacrifice to do this.

I think you’re being absolutely heartless and ungrateful for your all your sisters time and effort for being your mums carer. You have not had to pay towards any care for your mother due to your sister doing it