Selling inherited house when sibling living in it

[Dutchhouse14]

Our DM passed away a few months ago and her will divides everything equally between me and my 2 siblings.
Im the sole executor.
Dsis ,mid 50s, has always lived at home, never moved out. Towards the end of mums life she became her carer.
She works limited hours although she has increased these with overtime since mum passed away but full time contracts are non existent in her sector.
Shes used to pay a small amount of housekeeping but this stopped when she was made redundant from full time work about 10 years ago.
DMs house is in a bad state of repair, none of us can afford to maintain it . Me and my other sibling want to sell.
But DSis is resisting ,not replying to texts, avoiding phones calls, went out when estates agents came round for valuations etc
She has limited income and savings but could get a small mortgage and with proceeds of sale she could get a 1 bed flat.
My other sibling agrees we need to sell but doesn't want to upset dsis and is generally very good at avoidance! They are happy to give Dsis a much bigger share ie 50% I would prefer 40% which i think is realistic for dsis to buy somewhere.
So ive become the wicked witch of the West in Dsis eyes and shes taking it all out on me, well basically stopped talking to me.
WIBU to put the house on the market?
Probate has been granted.
Anyone know what the legal situation is?
I dont want to fall out with Dsis, I love her, but she seems filled with resentment for me and frankly has said some very hurtful things.
Ive always been there for her but shes never ever reciprocated or supported me when ive needed it.
Although I live with DH and DC, the money would really help my future, my pension etc and I dont want to give my share to Dsis, which is what I think she really wants as shes used to being in charge of DMs money , always lived here so I think basically considers everything as hers.
Just dont know how to move things forward or if im being unreasonable selling the house and wanting my share

I don't know, hence the need to find out if she had grounds to contest the will.
Or did I misunderstand your question?

I agree with this, and also the previous poster who pointed out that your sister saved thousands every month in care home fees looking after your mum, and presumably made sacrifices in her own life to do so - my mum paid over £6,000 per month, and her home wasn't a particularly expensive one. I think it would be life changing and extremely harsh to force your sister out of her home. Of course the money from the sale of the house would be very beneficial to you and your sibling, but you don't need it in the same way that your sister does. I understand that you have to follow the terms of the will, but there's nothing to say that you can't change how the money is divided up if you're all in agreement. My parents had been divorced for some time when my dad died, and his will left everything to my brother and I, but we decided to share the money from the estate equally with my Mum because she was struggling financially and we felt it was the very least she deserved after being married to him for 35 years.

It was your mum’s wish to divide it 3 ways, so it should be done like that. After the division you are each free to do as you wish with your own portions, but in the first instance your mum’s wishes should be respected.

Your sister has benefited from partially or fully subsidised accommodation for her entire adult life. It’s time for her to take responsibility. For all you know she could have thousands saved.

There’s absolutely no point in offering her more as a) it’s your job as executor to follow out your mother’s wishes as per the will b) your sister’s expectation is clearly to have it ALL so will never be happy.

She may not speak to your afterwards anyway as she feels she is entitled to the house. Just follow the will and be done with it.

Be careful she doesn’t take all your mother’s possessions too. My SIL and BIL did that. Log the full estate, with photos, value and sell / divide amongst yourself. Sell the house before she gets too settled. It’ll never be a good time and she may even be racking up bills in your mother’s name still. (Seen that too!)

Of course she’s going to be upset with you, you want to turf her out of her home. Can you get a mediator involved to talk things through?

As I posted this is thought, actually it wouldn’t matter as I have no clue as to what it means anyway 🤣

I dont think its realistic to expect your sister to obtain a mortgage at her age, her career and personal history proves shes just not up to it, hence avoiding you.
You need to try to support her find alternative housing.

The only relevant post on this entire thread is the one that states the OP has to follow her legal duties as executor.

Seek legal support OP.

As a first step, has the ownership of the house been changed to the 3 siblings with the Land Registry? My advice would be to try some sort of mediation as there will be consequences for not sorting this out, CGT on sale for the 2 non-resident siblings if the value of the house increases from the probate value, Stamp Duty on the sale if you buy each other out, potential double / triple council tax etc.

Your sister has been riding the gravy train for her entire adult life, she ain't gonna go quietly!
I would get everything organised and sewn up before she realizes that you are serious about following your mother's wishes as expressed in her will.

Err, she’s only mid fifties, not elderly. Yes, she may need support and guidance, but there’s nothing to say she lacks mental capacity.

Also, make sure you have a will that shows you own one third of the house.

Im not saying the sister lacks mental capacity.

Bullshit.
There are 3 daughters... Mum has rightly split her estate 3 ways.

Get legal advice now about obtaining an order for sale. If your sister who has lived there and stayed on as carer to her financial detriment can prove your mother promised to make adequate provision for her to stay in the house for life, but never go around to changing her will, she might have a claim against your mother's estate under the inheritance family and dependents act 1975 for better financial provision than a 1/3rd share in proceeds of sale , so it's best to get advice in advance to avoid running up a big legal bill and even less for the estate to share, and if the advice is to compromise, try settle the dispute with a bit of negotiation.

Why?

Our neighbours sister always looked after their Mum, and lived with her all her life. NDN has agreed for her to stay there until she passes, and house will be sold then .They realise it will be their DC who benefit ,and think of it as an inheritance for her and her DC .I think unless you are desperate for the cash maybe you could leave Sis for a while maybe .Caring for someone is incredibly hard ,and emotionally stressful as well

This, 100%

We will also be in this situation when the time comes. It will be rough but its tough, she cants remain in it forever.

We had this. BIL was living in the family home. Now he was in a position to buy somewhere else but getting him out was really hard. In the end it took about three years to get it all sorted. DH no longer speaks to his siblings. You just have to follow what was outlined in the will. As a pp says your mum could have made provision for your sibling if she had wanted to.

I can't imagine doing this to a sister who looked after my mother.

did the sister appoint herself as carer,so she didnt have to move out and get a job that paid enough for her to support herself? just wondering if she is as selfless as some on here think.
I have witnessed this with a friends sibling in a similar situation,where the mother would probably have preferred to have lived alone for many years with family just visiting instead,but her son never got his act together.

also the mother clearly wished all siblings to inherit,its her wishes to be followed

I actually think that was really mean of your mum ,to not think that your sister had given up a lot of her time to care for her ..she should of left the house to your sister .
It will be hard for her to pick up where she was before she became your mum's carer ..and saving you time and money, because you didn't have to do anything for your mum ,as your sister was doing it all
So yes I think your mum was unfair,and I think your unfair
Maybe your other sibling is uncomfortable because honest with you ,and that's why they are not getting involved.
I wonder if your mum's will was done before your sister became her carer and then she didn't think to change it

Exactly this. OP as Executor you are legally bound to properly administer the estate on behalf of all three beneficiaries including yourself.

Please engage a solicitor who can help with this and advise. You are leaving yourself open to legal challenges from your other sibling.

Once you have done that and you understand your responsibilities and your options, you need to have a frank chat with both siblings together about how to approach the estate.

I am assuming there is not sufficient money elsewhere for your sister to take the house and you and your other sibling to take other assets and I am assuming you and the other sibling wouldn't be open to a deed of variation to grant the house (bulk of the estate) to your sister.

Detriment doesn't just mean financial, it can be detriment to social circumstances, relationships, career prospects etc, the meaning is quite broad in that case.