You're 8 now, old enough to do it yourself

[Angrycatnoises]

Do you agree?

Dd when she finished her bowl of pomegranate seeds on the sofa asked Dh to go and put it in the kitchen please. Each time this happens or she asks for a drink/snack, he says she should take it back herself etc. I tend to do it mostly for her, she's very independent, always has been, sorts her own school bag, homework, showers etc, but she's still only young and it's not too much that a parent brings her food and drinks, is it?!

Dh and I disagree a little on this

How much do you do for your 8 year old (or around that age)?

😂Why? I just said that as it literally just happened now

I find it really odd that she would ask him to take it back tbh unless he was already going. To me that’s teaching her to be disrespectful of other people’s time

also, be careful eating too many pomegranate seeds

Sorry I agree with your DH, she asked her dad to take away her dirty plate? Of course she should be doing that at 8years old and I’m very soft with my kids. I like giving kids a bit of fuss and looking after them but asking someone to take a dirty plate away is ridiculous.

I think she can manage the mighty trek to take a bowl into another room don't you

Perfect time to teach them that the world doesn't revolve around them. Better to do it now than attempt when they turn into stroppy teenagers and then useless adults.

Team DH sorry

Of course she should take her own bowl back to the kitchen. So much so that, especially with the pomegranate detail, I wonder if this is some sort of mickey take that's gone over my head.

Think there a big difference in her asking someone to get her a snack or a drink than her handing an empty bowl to your husband and asking him to put it in the kitchen for him. My 5 year old doesn’t even do that

I might make a drink or snack for an 8 year old but I would certainly expect them to take a plate/dish/cup back to the kitchen - and to have been doing so for a couple of years.

Taking her cups and plates out is different to getting her own food. Independence is to be valued and it won't hurt her to take her own plates out after sh has used them. It's not as if she can't do it is it? She just doesn't want to.

You really think a parent should jump up and put an 8 year olds bowl away for her?

Your DH is right - my kids have been asked to do this since they started school (obvs not if they’re feeling ill, etc.)

I also wouldn’t be letting her eat pomegranate on the sofa as it stains

(edited to remove rude term!!)

8 is definitely old enough to tidy up after herself.

She would have been told to take it out herself in my house! As I tell my kids nightly there isn’t a magical bowl fairy so they need to take their own plates etc to the dishwasher

This. My DD is slightly younger and Im not fetching and carrying a dirty bowl for a perfectly healthy junior school kid!

A touch of the overheard in Waitrose vibe

Never mind her taking her bowl back into the kitchen. She is old enough to be getting her own snack and a drink. Stop treating her like a baby.

Oh and i dont get my kids drinks either, they know where the cups & taps are and can get their own.ditto the biscuit tin & the fruit bowl.

Oh my, you do realize that if she eats all those pomegranate seeds, she will be stuck in the Underworld for ever!

Why isn't she getting her own snack as well as taking her plates back to the kitchen.

At 8 she should be doing this on autopilot because she should have been doing it for years.

It's fine to want to indulge her and baby her a bit but that is a personal choice for you.

If she's independent enough to pack her own bag, which requires proper organisational skills, then she's quite capable of taking her dishes to the kitchen, so it's a lazy attitude to expect someone else to do it (like DH) if they don't want to.

Fine to say "dad can you take my dish out please" if he has gotten up.

But if you wouldn't ask DH to get up to take yours out then IMO you shouldn't be training DC to do it

Why is she eating on the sofa?

I think it's fine to take the bowl if you're heading into the kitchen, otherwise ask her to take it in herself.

Also, pomegranate seeds on the sofa? Recipe for disaster.

Dd when she finished her bowl of pomegranate seeds

Good scene-setting, op.

Of course she should be tidying up after herself.