You're 8 now, old enough to do it yourself

[Angrycatnoises]

Do you agree?

Dd when she finished her bowl of pomegranate seeds on the sofa asked Dh to go and put it in the kitchen please. Each time this happens or she asks for a drink/snack, he says she should take it back herself etc. I tend to do it mostly for her, she's very independent, always has been, sorts her own school bag, homework, showers etc, but she's still only young and it's not too much that a parent brings her food and drinks, is it?!

Dh and I disagree a little on this

How much do you do for your 8 year old (or around that age)?

No I obviously don't say anything when she's there, but i'm just different in the way I do it sometimes, no power struggles, it's not that deep

Gross.

What’s wrong with feeding her pomegranate seeds?! My kids love them.

She does do it...a lot! But I don't think it's that unreasonable to do it after she's done school, sports, homework, confy in pjs on the sofa

Yes she should be doing that stuff and over time you introduce more and more.
It is a very bad idea to wait on your kids hand and foot. You are supposed to be teaching them how to do things themselves.

My DD is 4 and she puts her own orange peel in the bin (with some reminding!). I don’t understand why she wouldn’t.

I mean if I was going anyway yes I’d do this for my DD but she knows I expect her to put her plates away and she definitely wouldn’t ask me to get up and go and do that like I’m her servant. Also she’s 4.

Has your husband not been working all day?

Pomegranate seeds on the sofa? Those little buggers stain!

i have an 8 year old

im alway saying: take that into the kitchen, put it in the bin, help yourself if you want a drink

tidy your room, put your laundry away

most of this is met with resistance but i think it’s good to start now. Im not the servant

It's because Ddog begs, so we tend to put stuff away, but nobody cba constantly 😂

Form your OP it sounds like she only does it because he dad encourages her to. You admit you do it for her most of the time.

Her being comfy, having school or any other excuse is daft. Presumably you don't tell your husband to take your stuff to the kitchen because you have had a busy day so why should she?

My 3yo puts her dirty bowls in the sink!

i reckon about 5 years ago would have been the perfect time for this

You want her to learn that she should ask every single time, because sometimes you’ll say yes… but sometimes you’ll also say no.

Thats pretty poor parenting. At least be consistent so she knows what’s expected of her.

So do you and your DH sit around all day then?

Agree with dh. She is more than old enough to return it to the kitchen and put in dishwasher or wash it. Surely just encourages her to ask people to do things she is perfectly capable of doing.

My response would be 'what did your last slave die of'

Yes mine has done all that for years and does a lot

Team DH

Same here, we occasionally do it for them, just as they do for us. But generally if you want the snack enough you’ll do the chore around the snack as well.

If she's been doing it for years without complaint why are you now so keen to act like a servant and do it for her?

No, it's me that started and encouraged it from a v early age. I just feel it's ok to do sometimes

I really want a bowl of pomegranate seeds now …

Of course she should take out her rubbish and not expect someone else to or just leave it there. I agree with your DH.

You've taken me right back to my parents saying 'What did your last slave die of' when I asked them to do stuff in the 1960s 😂