AIBU to be hurt about the school PTA taking the piss out of me?

[CalamityHen]

I joined the PTA at my DC's school at the start of term and have been trying to get stuck in and help out where I can.

I've just found out from another PTA member that some of the others have apparently been making fun of me behind my back for being too keen and a try hard. She showed me a message from a group chat where they've nicknamed me Penelope Pitstop because apparently I never have a hair out of place (this is actually quite funny in itself because it categorically isn't true. The only reason they probably think this is that the days I do school drop-off are also the days I go into the office, so they see me looking reasonably presentable. They don't see my usual scruffy self the rest of the time. And, for the record, some of them are considerably more glam and polished than I am).

But that's beside the point really. I'm genuinely quite hurt by it and now I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks I should ignore it, carry on as normal and hope they eventually get over whatever their issue is. Part of me thinks I should quietly step back and leave them to it. And part of me thinks I should say something, although I absolutely hate confrontation and would rather avoid an awkward atmosphere at school if possible.

I also don't know whether knowing about it will make every PTA meeting feel horribly awkward now, even if I pretend I haven't seen the messages.

So, WWYD? Would you carry on regardless, quietly quit, or address it with them?

It’s mean, they’re small minded and I suggest that you can find more appreciative organisations to help, unless you want to keep a foot in the door because of your DC.

Oh you could have so much fun with this. Totally lean into the nick name, enjoy their envy and be OTT or let them have their silly little gossip and just do a good job

The other PTA member is being a bit of a shit stirrer. If you’re otherwise enjoying it I’d keep doing it.

Well there are far worse things they could have decided to call you, but if this person who told you could tell them it is inappropriate, then all to the good.

What group chat was it anyway, clearly not the PTA one otherwise you'd have seen it yourself.

I'd be inclined to meet them head-on and the next time you post on the PTA chat group, start it with "Hi, Penelope Pitstop here .......". They'll fall over themselves wondering who grassed them up.

Be OTT, and always say, “I’ve got to run, I need to make a….pittstop….on the way home. Tootles!”

just ignore and carry on. the PTA is there to do good things for the kids at the school. keep that in mind and ignore the bitches.

Haha...this. /\

I love this idea! Can you also change your name on the whattsapp group to penelope pittstop?

Oh and the person who told you - she's not your friend.

I ended up taking over the PTA after toxic twats like that. The couple toxic ones did things like you described - I killed with kindness. Stayed efficient, got them up to date with proper electronic record keeping, actually did minutes (so could keep track). They were utterly ineffective and basiclly threatened.
More appears came on the pta as it became a nice place to be and not utterly negative.

Golly people on here are forgiving!! I think that is horribly bitchy and it would be a cold day in hell that I ever gave them any help again. Is there a pta WhatsApp? I would put a message on it “I have been made aware of remarks about me on another group. I think it best that I resign with immediate effect”.

What a shower of cunts.

Why aren't you in the group chat, OP?

How unpleasant - and juvenile. I wouldn't hang around, but I'd be confronting the poster to tell her why...something along the lines of a controlled 'I know you have been calling me Penelope Pitstop. I don't mind nicknames but I do mind mocking me behind my back. So that's it for me with the PTA because I will never be able to feel at ease with any of you.'

Definitely do this 😂 then watch them squirm for a week. Then resign and copy in the head teacher.
They are complete arses.

Leave, value yourself, do something else.

If it were me I'd tell them to shove it next time I got asked to help !!

Why has the other mum told you, and why do the rest of the PTA feel comfortable talking about you in that way in front of her?

I'd leave the whole lot of them to it, they'll enjoy the drama of a confrontation.

At the next meeting suggest a Wacky Races fundraiser as you have apparently already been appointed as Penelope Pitstop. (I suspect I would have been nicknamed Muttley by this bunch!)

Over heard my DW being mocked by a judgemental Mum while she was volunteering for the PTA.

Shes never worn Boden ever so I bought her a lovely Boden dress so she has the full PTA Boden bitch uniform. DW isn’t on MN and has not a clue bless her.

Haters gona hate it’s easy to call than do . Don’t let them stop you doing nice things for your child .x

You could start calling her Muttley!

I'd just change my profile pic to PP and wait for someone to notice

These women are not your superiors, they have no power over you and so are unimportant. You have as much right to participate in the PTA as they do, so why act as though they have the right to welcome or reject you? If you enjoy it, carry on and file their opinions under 'things that don't matter'. I wouldn't give them the importance of raising it.

This. Such a great idea. The woman who told you is a stirrer. Sounds like someone is jealous of you being able to spend the time and do a good job. Don't forget its probably only one person doing it and the others are just sheep agreeing.

Sorry - I’m going to go against the grain annd suggest you take it on the chin. There are far worse nicknames to be had and at least it’s because you’re trying to make an effort. Try and laugh it off and carry on with your best efforts at heart.

The comments weren't made on the PTA WhatsApp, they were on a group chat of a few of the PTA mums who have kids in the same year.

I don't know it the one who showed me was shit stirring or not - she told me because she said it was unfair, but she hadn't shut it down either.

i am tempted to change my WhatsApp profile pic to one of Penelope maybe I should accept my new persona.

My daughter is only in reception and I have two younger than her to come so there is a long way to go with school whatever I decide. I really don't want an awkward atmosphere so a quiet resignation may be best.

Just realised this thread may be outing 🫢 oh well if your reading it and you know who you are I hope you feel bad!

Refer them to the (old) song, Harper Valley PTA, it's based on a true story, 😅