AIBU to be hurt about the school PTA taking the piss out of me?

[CalamityHen]

I joined the PTA at my DC's school at the start of term and have been trying to get stuck in and help out where I can.

I've just found out from another PTA member that some of the others have apparently been making fun of me behind my back for being too keen and a try hard. She showed me a message from a group chat where they've nicknamed me Penelope Pitstop because apparently I never have a hair out of place (this is actually quite funny in itself because it categorically isn't true. The only reason they probably think this is that the days I do school drop-off are also the days I go into the office, so they see me looking reasonably presentable. They don't see my usual scruffy self the rest of the time. And, for the record, some of them are considerably more glam and polished than I am).

But that's beside the point really. I'm genuinely quite hurt by it and now I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks I should ignore it, carry on as normal and hope they eventually get over whatever their issue is. Part of me thinks I should quietly step back and leave them to it. And part of me thinks I should say something, although I absolutely hate confrontation and would rather avoid an awkward atmosphere at school if possible.

I also don't know whether knowing about it will make every PTA meeting feel horribly awkward now, even if I pretend I haven't seen the messages.

So, WWYD? Would you carry on regardless, quietly quit, or address it with them?

If they are reading it they will know that I think they're a bunch of bitches.

my experience is that pta teams complain that there aren’t enough people involved and then are super cliquey and blocking if people try to get involved.

drop a tenner in the monthly direct debit, buy a cake from the occasional bake sale and find a better group to invest your efforts in.

I'd tackle it head on ... small minded dimwits ... they won't do it again if you deal with it.

Why are PTAs all like this? Like it’s for the benefit of the school and children, yet it’s always mean girl club?!

I'm petty. And very thick skinned so I'd sign off my next message in the group chat with
"Kindest regards,

Penelope Pitstop"

Genius!

Absolutely spot on.

OP, you could ask, at the next meeting "If I am Penelope Pitstop, which one of you is Mutley?"

epic

Quality!

What a bunch of bitches! Your post reminded of one of my favourite all time songs:

1

Whatever route you choose, I think you’re doing great, not enough people volunteer for the PTA for this kind of reason.

I don't think that the person who showed you the messages is being a shit stirrer, she probably just wants you to know what you're dealing with. Bunch of jealous bitches.

I would start laying my plans to mount a takeover coup of the PTA

You know who your enemies are and what they think of you, while they don't know that you know, and don't know what you think of them. That is a major strategic advantage.

I'm sorry OP, that's so hurtful. It never ceases to amaze me that keenness and enthusiasm are things to be derided in this country. When I first moved here, I didn't understand that being a try-hard was a bad thing. Such a weird thing to dislike someone for. God forbid someone would bring some energy and enthusiasm to helping out at their kids' school. 😣

What utter dicks. I would also feel hurt and to be honest I would want them to know. As others have said, I would probably sign off using the nickname rather than confronting them but I would want them to know I know. Also enjoyed some of the catty responses on here! Sorry OP.

This is a good suggestion. You could have a lot of fun!!

I’d carry on as normal, but the next time I posted something in the group I’d sign off Penelope Pitstop, I’d be tempted to ask who got cast as Mutley 😂

Typical school Mum twats. Number one focus is themselves. Steer clear op. They are setting a shocking example to their children.

If you want to keep going, get yourself a logo t-shirt with Penelope Pitstop on it. Say nothing, but wear it to the next meeting.

How tiresome that school queen bee dynamics are still playing out in the PTA group. I’d dig in my heels and play the long game. Try and recruit nicer mums/parents to change the group dynamic. Presumably you joined because you wanted to help your DC’s school so that hasn’t changed. I wouldn’t be too hard on the sharer, now you know the truth and truth is power.

Hostile takeover. It’s your PTA now Penelope. 🤗

Life too short to take this shit. Leave the pta to their silliness. Yanbu. It's the members issue not yours.

Goodness I love the mums that get into the PTA, they do so much that just wouldn’t happen otherwise. I would carry on tbh, unless you are making too much of a meal of it, chasing people or taking over all the jobs and making it too much of a military operation, if so then yes tone it down a bit.

I like this approach!
TBH , you have to develop quite a thick skin at school and in the PTA- you'll all be called a lot worse by those parents who don't get involved with the PTA and who get irritated by constant demands. Don't let put you off being an active Pat member though!

What a bunch of pathetic wankers

I'd turn up to the next meeting dressed entirely in pink