AIBU to be hurt about the school PTA taking the piss out of me?

[CalamityHen]

I joined the PTA at my DC's school at the start of term and have been trying to get stuck in and help out where I can.

I've just found out from another PTA member that some of the others have apparently been making fun of me behind my back for being too keen and a try hard. She showed me a message from a group chat where they've nicknamed me Penelope Pitstop because apparently I never have a hair out of place (this is actually quite funny in itself because it categorically isn't true. The only reason they probably think this is that the days I do school drop-off are also the days I go into the office, so they see me looking reasonably presentable. They don't see my usual scruffy self the rest of the time. And, for the record, some of them are considerably more glam and polished than I am).

But that's beside the point really. I'm genuinely quite hurt by it and now I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks I should ignore it, carry on as normal and hope they eventually get over whatever their issue is. Part of me thinks I should quietly step back and leave them to it. And part of me thinks I should say something, although I absolutely hate confrontation and would rather avoid an awkward atmosphere at school if possible.

I also don't know whether knowing about it will make every PTA meeting feel horribly awkward now, even if I pretend I haven't seen the messages.

So, WWYD? Would you carry on regardless, quietly quit, or address it with them?

Tell them any more bitchy disrespect and you'll be bringing The Anthill Mob AND The Hooded Claw with you to the next meeting.

Oh I wouldn’t resign quietly, I’d be on a group chat with them and I’d tell them that you had heard they were bitching, so you’ll leave them to sort everything in The PTA out as you don’t want to be part of it as you are resigning, signed off with Penelope pit stop.

bunch of bitches

id be thankful to the mum who told you, she obviously doesn’t want to be part of their jealous childishness either.

💯 Fuck them, I’d be so done. My free time is precious, I would use it elsewhere.

I might not send that message though. Somehow you end up looking like the unpleasant and dramatic one (how???). I’d be very very unavailable.

As they fucking should!

I think you should post a Penelope Pitstop GIF on the PTA group and say “Sorry I don’t have time for volunteering any more, over and out” then leave the group. Sod giving up your time for a bunch of turds!

Well the person who told you should not have told you. What did she hope to achieve? The only possible outcome is that you would be upset.
Now you're upset, so what now?

None of the options are going to be fun are they?

This is why grown ups shouldn't slag other people off behind their backs, and if they do, then FGS don't tell the target of the bitching what was said! There is never any good that will come of it.

Personally, I would leave, and I would tell them why. But then I'm really thin skinned.

You've probably got a decade or so to rejoin when the current members have all left and new people are in charge, so you can come back to it in the future.

This 👆👆👆I question the motive of the shit stirrer…just why?

You do realise that Penelope pitstop is an absolute babe?!!

They sound very bitchy, and I would consider stepping back because I simply couldn't be arsed with them. Not before I'd done a bit of shit stirring of my own to make them squirm though.

WhatsApp name change to Penelope Pitstop first, then at one of the meetings "Crikey is that the time!? Must dash darlings, I have a pitstop and then a date with Dick Dastardly and Mutley. 😬😬🤣 Toodle pip."

Watch their faces, then next day advise the headteacher and the head of the PTA that you are resigning and why. Then pay them no further attention. Just leave them to their bitch fest.

Absolutely change your photo to Penelope for a while. That will give them a little shake. Let them wonder what you’ve heard and who you’ve heard it from.

Then, if you’re enjoying it and it is helping the school, keep going. Actions speak louder than words. We’ve all met people who seemed a bit try hard or needy or emotional at times, but given time, sometimes it is just an overly keen person who is actually great. Actions speak louder than words, so keep being yourself and let the school benefit from your help.

Start humming Catch that Pigeon tune . Even better have it as your ring tone and get your DH to call during a PTA meeting .

You should ask if they need any He-y-alp! from Lil’ Ol’ Me.

Also if you’re Penelope, that makes the ring leader the Hooded Claw, you could have fun with that too!

I wouldnt stay. They are idiots. Find something more up your street. If they genuinely cared about their roles, they would welcome a keen new member. They sound insecure and are on the PTA for the wrong reasons. Nobody decent gangs up and makes fun of others.

Love that!

and then turn onto the meeting, be smiling and engaging but offer nothing up and if asked just casually say “ooohhh I’m worried my enthusiasm up to now has come across as try hard”.

Nothing better than getting the PTA alphas to turn in on themselves 😂😂😂😂

I agree with this.

They’ve been bitching about you behind your back, I mean it’s fairly sad that this is the worst they could come up with and shows that you must be a pretty ace person, but it’s still horrible, juvenile, othering behaviour and I wouldn’t want anything to do with them.

Of course both you and your DC have to make it through school so I would just drift away quietly and say you’ve suddenly become very busy. I would be frostily polite but not chatty.

I'm not sure I'd want to stay on the PTA with such childish colleagues. I'd be resigning.

p.s. I promise this has been my username for quite a while! 🤣🤣

If I were you (but I’m very thin skinned so it’s more of a theory!) I’d change my profile pic to Penelope, continue to be hot and spread the word to important people about the immaturity of the reception bitches as if it makes you laugh. While doing useful things for teachers and nice parents in a visible way.

Then I’d probably do something else til the idiots end their time at the PTA and maybe return. I wouldn’t trust the woman who told you but didn’t stand up for you. She’s an Iago.

If this is the attitude I would quietly step back. I agree - hurtful.
You could take over and run it all yourself ... but why would you? Let them do it!
There is a level at which voluntary organisations all function on gossip and a bit of bitching - but when it becomes so personal that's not appropriate.
So if it were me I would resign from the PTA - just a quiet resignation letter to whoever is in charge of it will do, along the lines of "I find I've over-committed so with regret I'm offering my resignation. I'm a great believer of parent/school support so you can rely on me to make cakes and accompany school trips when the call-out comes".
If anyone asks you why you just stick to that line - "yes, it's such a shame, I found I'd over-committed, but good luck with the forthcoming event".
You can then offer to help if anything is needed (so you get the good bits, like making amazing cakes, without the tedium of the PTA committee meetings) ... and in about 3 years time those parents will have got tired of it, stepped back themselves, so you can join in again.
I wouldn't bother with any Penelope Pitstop remarks. In the end the value of your contribution as a volunteer is the legwork you do. They have just lost someone who is willing to put her back into it - more fool them.

STTE.

Wear this to your next PTA meeting...

There are loads of charities / community groups out there who would absolutely love you as a volunteer! Don’t let these people hurt you or diminish your enthusiasm. Leave them to it and find somewhere you’ll be appreciated

Yes this.

Wear a pink suit and run around shouting "Hayulp hayulp".

In fact the next time you need a hand with anything, ask for some "hayulp " and look at them with a cocked eyebrow.

Then tell them to fuck off

I definitely wouldn't leave. You've got a long haul ahead of you as a primary school mum, and being on the PTA can be really good for staying close to what is going on in school and helping you to support your kids in school. And for making friends.
AFAI can see, all you know as fact is that you've been seen to be keen and you've been nicknamed PP. That is a v cool nickname as it means you're speedy and glamorous. I wouldn't take it negatively honestly and I would keep some distance from the one who told you, as that is just weird.

Yes, yes, yes!! 🤣 Best suggestion so far...

Leave them to it.

But play the shit stirrer at her own game, by telling them she showed you the messages.

Yeah someone’s a bit jealous methinks!