Is DH being unfair after I put DD back in nappies due to stomach bug?

[OneLilacReader]

DD is 3 years 7 months and potty trained a few weeks ago (a bit late I know but she was just a bit slow to get it!). Today she’s been ill with a stomach bug that I think she’s picked up from nursery. She still wears nappies at night, and after an accident in her night nappy this morning before we got ready for the day I decided it would be best if we put her back in them just to cover any accidents.

Fast forward to this evening and I’m glad we did because she didn’t make it to the toilet at all today. DH has just had a go at me saying that that was my fault and I’m undoing all our hard work training her. AIBU to to think he’s being completely unnecessary, and a couple of days aren’t going to set her back at all?

Yep I agree with your DH. Once out of nappies, they should not go back in (stomach bug or not!).

Im on Dh's side.
We never put the boys back to nappies once out of them

Is he at home handling all the toilet trips and cleaning up the mess?

Realistically, you can still use the toilet as normal wearing a pull up. But if she’s pooing that many times a day that she’s had several accidents, that isn’t normal. She will pick back up when she is back to normal. Keep going to the toilet for wees also poos if you can make it.

I think if it's clear it's diarrhea and there's no chance of her making it to the toilet it's the lesser of two evils. It could just as well set her back by repeatedly soiling her pants despite attempts to get to the toilet.
If it's soft but still formed then she can go in pants and you take the chance she'll make it. Complete liquid without control and almost no warning, nappies just save the upset of repeated accidents. Just keep explaining to DD that it's just temporary to help her getting cleaned easier, and she can go back to her big girl pants once her tummy is better.

Edited to say I appear to be in the minority with this so probably stick to the pants and cleaning up.

I think it is a bad idea to go back to nappies too, and the wrong decision...but I would have done exactly the same! I despise sickness bugs and would have wanted to make it marginally less horrendous by not having to clean up accidents.

He's not wrong. You've probably seriously confused her given how recently she's trained and it will probably undo the hard work in getting her to that point.

Although it's quite pointless asking really because you've already unilaterally made the decision and can't do anything to change it.

Do you wear nappies when you have an upset stomach? If not then don’t make your child do so.

I'm with your DH on this.

Also if your DD is shitting diarrhea in the nappy, that's just grim.

It’s the wrong thing to have done but I would have done the same.

I wouldn’t have done it, especially when she’s only been out of nappies for a few weeks. Regular toilet trips to ‘try’ and handle any accidents that may occur.

I agree

YABU! She'll likely regress and take a while again to get back out of nappies.

How can you say a few days won’t set her back when you don’t no yet? Now she’s toilet trained she doesn’t need to go back in nappies, just as you wouldn’t put yourself in them.

I agree with your DH to be fair. DS was slow to potty train so a similar age. He also had toddler diarrhoea so poo accidents still happened occasionally. We never went back to nappies at any point though.

If she was in a nappy all day she didn’t need to “make it” to the toilet. I would have at least started the day with her in pants.

I agree with your DH. I don’t understand why you put her back in nappies.

how is it more grim than it happening in her pants?!

OP, everyone is overreacting imo. Yes it's best not to revert to nappies once they're out of them, no it's not likely to cause a seismic regression, even if she has more accidents than usual for a few days she'll get back in the swing of it. Keep encouraging her to use the toilet while she has the bug and try to make it each time she needs to go. Get her back out of the nappies as soon as possible.

In a couple of weeks all will be totally back to normal and you won't even be thinking about this.

I'm in the minority and agree with what you did. My 3 year old was unwell last week and having her in nappies while she was poorly helped her through the illness. She still told me when she wanted to wee and poo and I took her to the toilet, only soiled the nappy when she had a terrible belly ache and has been fine transitioning back to her pants. Mine also still wears nappy at night as she's not ready yet. I kept reminding her that the nappies were only for while she was unwell this time.

Agree with this fully

Sorry, I'm on his side here! I do see why you're wanting to do it though and I'm sure if I had ever been in your position I would have done, but I do think he's right. Your girl will feel horrible having the runs and wearing a dirty nappy. Running the toilet (even if she's too late) is much better

He shouldn’t have had a go at you but he is right. You know she’s already old for potty training and you say she took a while to get it so you’ve really risked confusing her and taking a big step backwards. But it’s done now and I hope she’s better soon.

Why didn't he make it clear that he disagreed when you discussed it with him before you put her in a nappy?

Yeah I’m with dh. I doubt it would make a huge difference but once you stop nappies you’re kind of suppose to help her manage things like a stomach bug.

It makes a big difference that she’s on her way to being 4. Jobs done now so I wouldn’t worry anymore about it.

What is this fairly recent phenomenon of nearly 4 year olds still wearing nappies. ?(Serious SEND aside). A few threads on here and I have 2 girlfriends who despair that their school age grandchildren are still in nappies/pull-ups in reception. They don’t understand why as both are bright kids with no learning delays in any other way. Both told ‘they don’t feel happy using the toilet’. Or ‘she’s not asked and we let her lead on when she feels ready’ . My kids are in their 20/30s so perhaps I’m out of the loop with the latest child rearing guidance so perhaps toddler led toileting is thing ? I always thought 2-3yrs was the norm. ? Potty training is a PITA but leaving it later surely makes problems at nursery/school not to mention the cost of nappies !

He has been to be fair. We both work 9-5s so have been home this weekend. I use taped nappies as that’s just what we’ve found work better at night. I told her this morning when I put the first one on that she needed to tell me still when she needs a wee which she did for the first few times, but after a while her nappy was wet very time I changed her