Is DH being unfair after I put DD back in nappies due to stomach bug?

[OneLilacReader]

DD is 3 years 7 months and potty trained a few weeks ago (a bit late I know but she was just a bit slow to get it!). Today she’s been ill with a stomach bug that I think she’s picked up from nursery. She still wears nappies at night, and after an accident in her night nappy this morning before we got ready for the day I decided it would be best if we put her back in them just to cover any accidents.

Fast forward to this evening and I’m glad we did because she didn’t make it to the toilet at all today. DH has just had a go at me saying that that was my fault and I’m undoing all our hard work training her. AIBU to to think he’s being completely unnecessary, and a couple of days aren’t going to set her back at all?

And this is what you want to teach your DD. She is learning, her brain has a lot more elasticity so can easily regress and undo all your hard work of potty training.

I wouldn't put her back in nappies,just her normal underwear but I would have put one of those giant puppy pad type things on her mattress and wherever she's sitting, whilst she's getting over a bug.

she may have been lazy

She isn't the one who is lazy here OP.

What unfortunate timings for a tummy bug. I can see it both ways. Yes, it is a risk putting the nappy back on, but if it's reasonably bad diarrhea it could be upsetting for her anyway and lead to ongoing problems with constipation.
One day should be ok. If she asks the next day just say no, tummys better now and tell her there's no nappies left anyway.
Get the nappies out of the house. Put a mattress protector under her sheet and start night training.

The night time nappy is usually because they are not producing the hormone vasopressin which suppresses urine production whilst she sleeps. Day time dryness usually comes before night time dryness. Night time dryness is usually a concern when they reach about 8 years old.

As for the night nappy, it needs to be taken off when she wakes up, not after breakfast. That definitely helps with the message of pants/knickers in the day time and the nappy is only for sleeping.

I do understand why you put her back in nappies however as she has only be trained a few weeks this might come back to bite you on the arse but only time will tell.

I think she’s developmentally fine otherwise. All her nursery reports and reviews have been fine so far

There’s lots of evidence to say you can’t train at night as it’s hormonal

I’m really surprised by the comments. I’m on your side OP, unless he is volunteering to do all the laundry and carpet cleans

No more nappies. Work at getting her out of the night nappies too. If there is a delay you’ll know.
I knew a women who put her 3 year old and 5 year old in a nappy every night. They’d never been night trained. Madness.,

I'd ask some probing questions of nursery, is it private or attached to school?

3y 7m is late to train, especially in a girl. When was your last HV check?

“She didn’t make it to the toilet at all today”

yes, because she knew she didn’t have to!

yabu

This is only the case for some children. If you don’t try then you won’t know.

It’s attached to a school.

Last HV visit was at just over 2

You did the right thing. Massive eye roll to everyone saying different. She’s 3.5 - she’s fully capable of understanding that she’s wearing a nappy because she has a poorly tummy and is doing lots of poos today and it’s a one-off - same as she understands she wears a nappy at nighttime and not during the day. My daughter is 2.5 and understands that!

Attached to a school is good, means they are more likely to be aware of typical development to 4 and beyond.

If they really have no concerns, then I'd not put her back in nappies at all.

Why bother posting?! You feel you've done the right thing and anyone who disagrees you've ignored.

Own it, instead of looking for validation from strangers!

Why on earth would she have called her husband? Utterly ridiculous.
I would have done the same OP. As long as she’s back in pants as soon as the worst is over it’s fine.

If she got the hang of potty training a few weeks ago, then I don't think it's going to make any long term difference to her progress that she went back in nappies while she had diarrhoea.

Just take the nappies away again now she's better and keep going.
You haven't done anything wrong

Given you put her back in nappies at the first hurdle because it was easier for you, I’m wondering if it was you that was the problem with potty training rather than your DD not getting it.

Op
You know best
You know your child best
You know she won't be in nappies forever,she will pick it back up when she is well again
Knickers don't hold much runny poo
If your DH was the one cleaning up the mess he might of had a different opinion

She's toilet trained now. If you put her in a nappy she's going to use it.

I’ve done this when my daughter had a terrible watery diarrhoea stomach bug at a similar age and no it didn’t undo all the hard work. Even adults can shit themselves when really bad stomach bugs - I had food poisoning once and I wish I had a nappy 🤣

I think you did the right thing. The nappies can go when she’s better.

Wait, so you leave her in the nappy she’s had on all night for 10-12 hours until she’s had breakfast?! Totally unreasonable. The nappy should be taken off straight away upon waking, for all sorts of reasons. Hygiene and comfort being two very important ones!

Aside from that, yes you have been completely unreasonable to put a nappy back on her just because she has a stomach bug! Shes 3 years 7 months!

This.