Is DH being unfair after I put DD back in nappies due to stomach bug?

[OneLilacReader]

DD is 3 years 7 months and potty trained a few weeks ago (a bit late I know but she was just a bit slow to get it!). Today she’s been ill with a stomach bug that I think she’s picked up from nursery. She still wears nappies at night, and after an accident in her night nappy this morning before we got ready for the day I decided it would be best if we put her back in them just to cover any accidents.

Fast forward to this evening and I’m glad we did because she didn’t make it to the toilet at all today. DH has just had a go at me saying that that was my fault and I’m undoing all our hard work training her. AIBU to to think he’s being completely unnecessary, and a couple of days aren’t going to set her back at all?

Yeah way to prioritise your precious carpets over your almost reception aged child staying potty trained.

I don’t think you should beat yourself up about it or feel shame, but I wouldn’t have put mine back in nappies unless really pushed (eg we were away from home or travelling). I think it’s a bit unkind to the child, but I can see it felt sensible to you. Ultimately the one who cleans up gets to choose.

Meh- poor little thing has a tummy bug which isn’t going to be that reflective of normal toileting. I really don’t think that the odd day of a nappy is going to cause such a major regression.

It’s easy to judge if you’re not cleaning up diarrhoea. Neither of my children ever had that under 5 so I never had to deal with toilet training and explosive poo. Both of them always vomited when they were little with bugs. It’s only
really when they hit mid primary age they had that to manage and quite frankly I’d take the vomit as they know how to get that in a bowl. I think people are being too harsh on the OP.

Swap back into knickers now.

Next time take sick child to toilet more often. And have plenty of undies on hand.
Shower a few times.
Thank goodness children only get a gastro for one or two days.

Yeah you're not meant to go back to nappies once you've moved on - there is a grey area called 'pull ups'.

Yeah she'll be in nappies now til she 19 won't she?!

She might well however be starting school still wearing nappies!
3 years and 7 months and only trained a few weeks ago is not great parenting unless she has additional needs.
At first sight of illness she is straight back into nappies. Sorry OP, your DH is right on this one. He should however be also cleaning pants/ cleaning floors etc too.

When my DD was 5 and very well potty trained (had been for years) I once put her in younger DDs pull ups, with her permission, as she had explosive poo and wasn’t making it to the toilet in time. I personally think it’s fine as long as you explain it’s just for this bug and still expect them to try to make the toilet every time

@OneLilacReader your child was out of nappies so it should have stayed that way. You’ve given mixed messages now and didn’t actually give the child the chance to succeed in using the toilet as normal when Ill.

Lazy parenting. I’m with your H on this.

I experienced the same as you and put her back in nappies. But this was after 4 accidents. She had no control over her bowels and it was so bad I was just throwing clothes in the bin. So I put her back in nappies for 1 day and it had no affect on her potty training. I hope this reassures you as I see most here disagree.

I think my child was older! She was slow to learn. I’ve just found out she has a rare genetic condition causing delays and now she’s 6. Not all children are the same.

My mother-in-law is now 71. Any time over the last 24 years that I’ve known her and she’s had a stomach bug she has acquired a few nappies to squeeze into (she’s absolutely tiny and probably underweight) as she says she would rather that than deal with cleaning up an accident!

He can clean the shit out of the sofa and carpet then.

Mine used to pontificate on parenting decisions while doing none of the work.

It’s not a bad idea and I’ve done similar but it absolutely will set her back; depending on the severity of the bug that could be the lesser of two evils though.

No but she was only just out of nappies so there’s a good chance she’ll regress back.

There is a lot of harsh comments !
I put my dd back in nappies overnight recently when poorly with a flu/ covid type illness as she had a raging fever and during one day as she asked me to as tired and weak (she's 4 and was late to train too)
It made her feel more comfortable and secure, she continued to use toilet and once better back in pants no problem at all.
They are little still and she didn't thankfully have diarrhoea but did wee in nappy overnight despite previously being dry-
common with bouts of illness I think,
i would have done the same as you as long as you reinforce message and take her to toilet regularly i don't see the harm
Sick bugs are grim, it probably lowers your dd distress. Hope she feels better soon x

Obviously it’s different as she wouldn’t have been weeing in her pants in between bouts of diarrhoea. That she did proves your DHs point that using nappies was a step backwards.

Same. Is it a hassle to have to helicopter her while she is ill to get her to the restroom? Yes. Oh well. She is near 4. You made it easier for you now itll be harder for her.

I totally agree with DH here.

You didn’t even wait for her to try during the day before keeping her in a nappy - she had an accident overnight when it sounds like she’s not toilet trained at night anyway.

Or are you saying you’d left her in her night nappy for a while once awake anyway? In which case, you’re also very unreasonable and it’s no wonder it’s taken so long to toilet train her - that should be removed literally as soon as you’re getting her out of bed in the mornings

Truthfully how much of the toilet training did he actually do and how involved in cleaning up the accidents has he been?

We did the same thing for a weekend when we were away and DS had an awful bug. It did no lasting harm at all.

Why do people have to be so nasty?

I don’t think there is a right or wrong here OP. You did what you thought best at the time. Which is all any of can do. I expect your OH will be over it by now. I hope your little one is better soon.

First reply has it!
She was so late to be out of nappies to begin with, and now you put her back in them?

OP I kept my DD in night nappies for about 3 months when she didn't really need them because she unexpectedly toilet trained before a trip to Egypt, and I didn't want to deal with accidents over there.

She's now 16, and it is unsurprisingly a total non-issue, as it was back then. It is fine to take the easy road sometimes, it doesn't make you a bad parent. We all only have so much in the tank, choose where you use your energy... I know I don't choose to use mine cleaning up diarrhoea!

Well it’s done now but next time don’t do it. Get puppy pads for the sofa or old towels you can chuck in the machine in case of accidents. People are being harsh. You made a mistake. We all do.