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AIBU?

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Swear box in the office

147 replies

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 06/10/2026 21:10

I work in a fairly small office (no big corporate chain; HR covered by the Operations Director). One of the women who works alongside me is a bit of a head cook and bottle washer type, who likes to think she has some authority because she has some general office management responsibilities. She can also be a bit prim; she’s older, and isn’t keen on the fact that we no longer have a traditional office dress code, or that people are a bit more informal in general these days. That’s obviously her choice, as long as she doesn’t try to push those views on anyone else.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago she was complaining there was too much swearing in the office and said she was going to bring in a swear box; that we’d all have to put money in for charity if we swore in the office. I thought she was kidding, but she actually made the bloody box and brought it in. I laughed to myself when I saw it. I certainly had no intention of going along with it, but I didn’t say anything, as if other people were happy to put some pennies in for charity, that was their choice.

Anyway, today I was talking in the office and described something as a “shitstorm”, and she actually came over jingling her little box at me. I just laughed and said, “Yeah - I never agreed to that”, not really believing she’d actually chase people for money. But no - she was serious. She said, “I told everyone I was bringing in a swear box. There’s too much swearing goes on in this office.” She then said that, as she knows people don’t carry as much cash these days, I could put an IOU on a post-it!

I sort of snorted and said, “You’re not serious”. But apparently she was. And took great exception. She said again, “I told everyone.” I snapped at this point and said, “Well you don’t get to TELL people. You can ASK if they want to take part - and I don’t.”

Well, she’s clearly gone whinging to our actual manager, as he spoke to me about it later in the day. He basically said that of course I didn’t have to put money in the box, but could I just humour my colleague a bit as “she means well”. Frankly I was getting pretty annoyed now and said I, and all of us, humour her enough already. That she’s not management and needs to stop acting like it. He seems to think it doesn’t matter that much, but I have had enough. I said I’d try to avoid swearing in front of her if she was genuinely offended, but she could forget it if she thought I was going to do just nod and smile.

I appreciate it’s probably gone too far. But honestly, I’m an adult in the workplace, not a character in an office sitcom. It’s not up to me to humour delusional clerical workers.

Should I push to get the box removed?

OP posts:
DesperateforSunshine · 06/10/2026 21:17

Humour the old bird……and roll your eyes every time she rattles the box (make sure you have coins ready!)

Marmaladelover · 06/10/2026 21:26

You could tell her to fuck off . Using those exact words !

Berlinlover · 06/10/2026 21:28

I hate swearing so I’m on her side.

MyballsareSandy2015 · 06/10/2026 21:29

Tell her she’s a cunt and you’ve got absolutely no intention of using her fucking swear box.

FlowerVases · 06/10/2026 21:30

Just don't swear?

JC89 · 06/10/2026 21:31

You could just not swear in the office? It's a bit unprofessional...

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 21:33

Of course she can't enforce the swear box.

But you shouldn't be using language at work that offends people. It's unprofessional.

And I say that as a person who swears like a fucking trooper.

Legomania · 06/10/2026 21:34

I'm not desperate to swear at work but someone trying to police the odd 'shit' would massively grind my gears.

Otoh I'm assuming that calling someone a cunt would land you in front of HR in most workplaces

JaneJaneAnne · 06/10/2026 21:36

I would think ignoring it would be more effective that pushing for removal.

But also, lots of swearing isn’t really appropriate in an office environment.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 06/10/2026 21:36

Fuck me, if there was a swear box where I work I'd be fucking bankrupt-very quickly.

Vaxtable · 06/10/2026 21:36

Shitstorm is not a swear word

personally I would have a quiet word with her tomorrow and explain if she chooses to start a swear box that’s up to her but no one has to advise by it and you won’t be

then just carry on as normal. Hopefully others will follow your example

ShitFacedShakespeare · 06/10/2026 21:38

Pop in a fiver in advance.

Then call her a cunt 🤣

AIiswatchingyou · 06/10/2026 21:40

It's not up to her to police her colleague's language and she needs to know that.

Others might be offended by other language/discussion in the office - politics, religion, news stories etc. They also don't get to dictate to others.

Tolerance goes both ways - she needs to tolerate minor swearing that is not directed at her, you need to tolerate her complaining.

Nookistheplacetobe · 06/10/2026 21:49

I'm not a big swearer and wouldn't in the office environment. I remember one office Xmas lunch a young person telling that they were astonished that they had never heard me swear. I responded "I'd hope not in the office". Just a difference of opinions.
Another time a piece of used kit was on the floor near my desk and the service manager was having to wipe off oil and grease to find the serial number for the engineer on the phone. And having done so she said "and now you've made me swear in front of Nookistheplacetobe."
It was all good humoured.
You are not being unreasonable. Each to their own. Just say no.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 06/10/2026 21:52

Throw 1p on the floor in front of her and say

find a penny pick it up all day long you’ll have good luck 🤣

What a shame she has nothing better to do!

Shloopie · 06/10/2026 21:54

Describing something as a shitstorm is pretty inoffensive. It describes a situation rather than a person, it's not on a level of yelling out 'oi, ya stupid cunt' across the office. I'd be irked at her tin rattling too.

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 21:58

Vaxtable · 06/10/2026 21:36

Shitstorm is not a swear word

personally I would have a quiet word with her tomorrow and explain if she chooses to start a swear box that’s up to her but no one has to advise by it and you won’t be

then just carry on as normal. Hopefully others will follow your example

Thing is shitstorm is a swear word by many people's standards.

And if you're honest you know this perfectly well. Bet you wouldn't use it in an official document. Or say it to the head of the company.

We seem to have lost sight of the difference between swearing and proper everyday in parlance.

Swearing has to serve a purpose. It has to verbally shock. It has breach boundaries.

Otherwise, what's the fucking point?

Isittimeformynapyet · 06/10/2026 22:00

Vaxtable · 06/10/2026 21:36

Shitstorm is not a swear word

personally I would have a quiet word with her tomorrow and explain if she chooses to start a swear box that’s up to her but no one has to advise by it and you won’t be

then just carry on as normal. Hopefully others will follow your example

Abide by it.

Offherrockingchair · 06/10/2026 22:01

So her preference for this ridiculous swear box has been honoured by your manager, above your dislike for it?! Your manager is not very good!

GreenSingingFrog · 06/10/2026 22:01

I’d get a bag of 100 x 1 penny coins from the bank. Next time she asks, put a penny in. And then jangle the bag at her so she knows you’ve got 99 more fucks to give…

HazelHedgehog · 06/10/2026 22:05

Just don't swear

tigger1001 · 06/10/2026 22:08

Not up to her to enforce a swear box

Toetouchingtitties · 06/10/2026 22:10

Bring in some Monopoly money. Put in £500 and say it's for future occurrences, you annoying fuck face.

Kittenwatch · 06/10/2026 22:10

I have a personalised one on my desk for decoration which I got one Secret Santa… I’d be bankrupt if I used it. The giver even wrote me a little poem which I truly cherish.

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:18

Berlinlover · 06/10/2026 21:28

I hate swearing so I’m on her side.

Surely that’s not the point? What if you liked cake but someone unilaterally decided people couldn’t eat cake in the office, presumably you’d feel differently?