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Swear box in the office

147 replies

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 06/10/2026 21:10

I work in a fairly small office (no big corporate chain; HR covered by the Operations Director). One of the women who works alongside me is a bit of a head cook and bottle washer type, who likes to think she has some authority because she has some general office management responsibilities. She can also be a bit prim; she’s older, and isn’t keen on the fact that we no longer have a traditional office dress code, or that people are a bit more informal in general these days. That’s obviously her choice, as long as she doesn’t try to push those views on anyone else.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago she was complaining there was too much swearing in the office and said she was going to bring in a swear box; that we’d all have to put money in for charity if we swore in the office. I thought she was kidding, but she actually made the bloody box and brought it in. I laughed to myself when I saw it. I certainly had no intention of going along with it, but I didn’t say anything, as if other people were happy to put some pennies in for charity, that was their choice.

Anyway, today I was talking in the office and described something as a “shitstorm”, and she actually came over jingling her little box at me. I just laughed and said, “Yeah - I never agreed to that”, not really believing she’d actually chase people for money. But no - she was serious. She said, “I told everyone I was bringing in a swear box. There’s too much swearing goes on in this office.” She then said that, as she knows people don’t carry as much cash these days, I could put an IOU on a post-it!

I sort of snorted and said, “You’re not serious”. But apparently she was. And took great exception. She said again, “I told everyone.” I snapped at this point and said, “Well you don’t get to TELL people. You can ASK if they want to take part - and I don’t.”

Well, she’s clearly gone whinging to our actual manager, as he spoke to me about it later in the day. He basically said that of course I didn’t have to put money in the box, but could I just humour my colleague a bit as “she means well”. Frankly I was getting pretty annoyed now and said I, and all of us, humour her enough already. That she’s not management and needs to stop acting like it. He seems to think it doesn’t matter that much, but I have had enough. I said I’d try to avoid swearing in front of her if she was genuinely offended, but she could forget it if she thought I was going to do just nod and smile.

I appreciate it’s probably gone too far. But honestly, I’m an adult in the workplace, not a character in an office sitcom. It’s not up to me to humour delusional clerical workers.

Should I push to get the box removed?

OP posts:
Stressedoutmummyof3 · 07/10/2026 08:38

I don't think it's great to swear at work. Although I've only ever worked in childcare and retail ( where I was often tempted to swear when customers called me a fucking bitch or similar) so can't really swear in those jobs. In an office with no clients? Not really a big deal, but it is a bit unprofessional.
Having said that if I worked somewhere where a swear jar was brought in I'd probably swear on purpose and refuse to pay.

Saltedcarameltiramisucheesecake · 07/10/2026 08:50

Just continue as before, and if you use a swear word just ask her to put it "on my slate, Carol".
Have a bit of fun with it. You know she can't enforce the fines, she knows she can't, so just wind her up.

ClairDeLaLune · 07/10/2026 10:16

“Show me where I signed up to that agreement and I’ll pay you. Now get tae fuck.” I hate sanctimonious people. She really can fuck off.

Awesome username btw OP.

FeelingsAboutTits · 07/10/2026 10:57

Those of you saying swearing is "incredibly unprofessional" must work in far more refined offices than I do! Our CEO is like a docker!

Although I have to say, I'm not so up on what's rude and what's not anymore. I mean, "buggery" used to be quite shocking. But nowadays, you'd take buggery in your stride.

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 07/10/2026 11:19

Soontobe60 · 07/10/2026 07:34

If you read my posts you’ll see I said the swear box thing is unacceptable. Do you honestly think that within a work environment being allowed to swear because you think it’s ok trumps not being allowed to swear because it makes some people uncomfortable? What a strange way to look at things.
By your standard, if a colleague is constantly saying other things that make someone feel uncomfortable that’s ok? What about if it’s a bloke repeatedly calling the women at work ‘babes’, ‘birds’, ‘sweetheart’, ‘bints’? He thinks it’s ok so he should be able to say it?

I think terms that could be offensive based on gender - or race or sexuality and so on - are very different to general swearing. I didn’t call someone a shit; I didn’t aim the comment at someone’s work or actions. She might not like it, but she doesn’t get to dictate it.

I see this in the same way I would for someone fundraising for a religious charity in the workplace. I wouldn’t go out of my way to say “I think you’re stupid; there is no god” - but you’d get short shrift rattling your tin in my face.

OP posts:
LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 07/10/2026 11:21

Anyway, I’ve spoken to my boss this morning and told him I want the swear box removed, or I will be taking things further. He isn’t happy - he wants me to shrug my shoulders and say “Oh, that’s just Betty” to keep the peace - but I’ve had enough.

OP posts:
Friendlygingercat · 07/10/2026 11:41

Some people are amazingly offended by swearing. I told my neighbour to "fuck off or I will kick your fucking head in" and never saw her again.

Boreded · 07/10/2026 12:50

Friendlygingercat · 07/10/2026 11:41

Some people are amazingly offended by swearing. I told my neighbour to "fuck off or I will kick your fucking head in" and never saw her again.

Nice! Wish it would work with people in my life I would like rid of 😂

Rosepinks · 07/10/2026 12:56

I wouldn't be swearing in the office but I too would push back at Betty.
Who on earth does she think she is.
I think she is harassing staff with her behaviour.
She needs telling to back off.

LetMeGoogleThat · 07/10/2026 13:24

Urg! I hate those office types, we had one that would email photos of dirty mugs around the whole company if you dared to forget to wash it! Self promoted and full of herself, whilst fairly useless and spent more time vaping than working.

Anyhoo, petty acts of micro aggression worked for me, smiling sweetly whilst loudly pointing out anything she missed and ensuring the whole office heard. I'd keep pointing out, there ain't a policy, she's not HR and no one signed up to it.

LetMeGoogleThat · 07/10/2026 13:26

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 07/10/2026 11:21

Anyway, I’ve spoken to my boss this morning and told him I want the swear box removed, or I will be taking things further. He isn’t happy - he wants me to shrug my shoulders and say “Oh, that’s just Betty” to keep the peace - but I’ve had enough.

Queen!

AshCullen1894 · 07/10/2026 13:54

I would be tempted to keep plenty of change in my desk and drop in a coin every fucking time without being asked. Walk past the box...drop in fifty pence...say fuck this fucking shitty box. Carry on with day.

TheMimsy · 07/10/2026 14:06

@LydiaTheTattooedLardarse this is obviously a shitstorm in a tea cup and I stand with you.

AbsintheMakesTheHeartGrowFonder · 07/10/2026 14:19

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 23:17

No but I'm just betting the words she doesn't like are words you wouldn't use in a job application or interview.

The last person I employed swore in her interview. That was one of the things I really liked about her. I work in communications and it was very clear that she'd read the room, judged the mood and chosen the word well for deliberate effect in a way that told me she was a natural communicator. She fitted in really well with our team.

I think a lot of people saying 'Just don't swear' or 'You shouldn't swear at work, it's not acceptable' aren't quite appreciating how nuanced this sort of thing is. Language varies a lot from office to office and industry to industry and what's acceptable and appropriate isn't as black and white as people are imagining. The OP mentions that this particular employee also doesn't like the informality or the relaxed dress code, so it sounds as if she simply doesn't fit with the norms of the company she works for and is trying to mould it into something she wants it to be, regardless of what the management or the other employees feel. That isn't considerate behaviour; it's selfish and overbearing.

Westfacing · 07/10/2026 14:30

Excessive swearing is tedious and not appropriate at work but it's silly and twee to try and impose a swear box

Back in the day, she's the sort of person who would bring in a square of carpet and a couple of pot plants from home to personalise her desk area - I have a former colleague in mind!

RedPony1 · 07/10/2026 14:43

GreenSingingFrog · 06/10/2026 22:01

I’d get a bag of 100 x 1 penny coins from the bank. Next time she asks, put a penny in. And then jangle the bag at her so she knows you’ve got 99 more fucks to give…

This is the winning suggestion for me!

Buffs · 07/10/2026 18:57

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 22:33

Nope.
We all understand social norms. We really do.
The whole point of swearing is to subvert social norms.
So in any normal work place I think you should be respectful of general social acceptability.

Edited

I worked in an industry where swearing was very much the social norm.

Buffs · 07/10/2026 19:02

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 07/10/2026 11:21

Anyway, I’ve spoken to my boss this morning and told him I want the swear box removed, or I will be taking things further. He isn’t happy - he wants me to shrug my shoulders and say “Oh, that’s just Betty” to keep the peace - but I’ve had enough.

Good for you.

Ladyfromthehill · 07/10/2026 19:06

JC89 · 06/10/2026 21:31

You could just not swear in the office? It's a bit unprofessional...

If you are a priest or a nun, maybe.

Buffs · 07/10/2026 19:09

Shoobadadoo · 06/10/2026 22:24

Just stop swearing it’s not nice

I find a lot of things ‘not nice’ - sniffing, bad grammar, bad table manners to name but a few. Sadly I don’t get to police other people or indeed fine them.
I’m proud to add though that I’m remarkably tolerant of swearing.

BeddysMum · 07/10/2026 20:32

Your manager actually needs to manage their staff and step in on this one.
Either the swear box is a thing (which contractually they are unlikely to be able to enforce as it involves a financial penalty) or it's not.
It can be a good idea if people want to do it, but this woman needs to be put in her place by the manager because she's overstepping, regardless of how morally right she thinks she is.
Personally I'd go to HR as the manager is failing to do their job. This isn't for you to resolve as there's clearly a difference of opinion that needs a management decision. It could also be construed as her bullying and picking on you.
I would be careful and check your contract though. Some places I worked, swearing in front of a manager was a disciplinary offence so we were very careful with our language. We also worked on the phone so it would have been highly unprofessional for a customer to overhear bad language.
This woman sounds annoying, but be careful you don't end up on the wrong end of this!

ThatGoldScroller · 07/10/2026 23:34

Just don’t swear at work

SALaw · 08/10/2026 00:18

Where do you all work that you think swearing is inappropriate in an office environment? Every large city law firm I’ve worked at is a very very sweary environment and I’ve never heard anyone object (they’d get nowhere if they did). I assumed all offices were like that. To be clear I don’t mean people swearing AT their colleagues, so not “that piece of work you did was shit” or “you’re a fucking cunt” but more “fuck me I can’t believe the deadline that client had given us” or “shit there’s a mouse running about” etc.

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 08/10/2026 00:47

ThatGoldScroller · 07/10/2026 23:34

Just don’t swear at work

You have missed the point by a mile.

OP posts:
FFSItsTooHot · 08/10/2026 01:43

People who get uptight about the odd swear word really piss me off.