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Swear box in the office

147 replies

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 06/10/2026 21:10

I work in a fairly small office (no big corporate chain; HR covered by the Operations Director). One of the women who works alongside me is a bit of a head cook and bottle washer type, who likes to think she has some authority because she has some general office management responsibilities. She can also be a bit prim; she’s older, and isn’t keen on the fact that we no longer have a traditional office dress code, or that people are a bit more informal in general these days. That’s obviously her choice, as long as she doesn’t try to push those views on anyone else.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago she was complaining there was too much swearing in the office and said she was going to bring in a swear box; that we’d all have to put money in for charity if we swore in the office. I thought she was kidding, but she actually made the bloody box and brought it in. I laughed to myself when I saw it. I certainly had no intention of going along with it, but I didn’t say anything, as if other people were happy to put some pennies in for charity, that was their choice.

Anyway, today I was talking in the office and described something as a “shitstorm”, and she actually came over jingling her little box at me. I just laughed and said, “Yeah - I never agreed to that”, not really believing she’d actually chase people for money. But no - she was serious. She said, “I told everyone I was bringing in a swear box. There’s too much swearing goes on in this office.” She then said that, as she knows people don’t carry as much cash these days, I could put an IOU on a post-it!

I sort of snorted and said, “You’re not serious”. But apparently she was. And took great exception. She said again, “I told everyone.” I snapped at this point and said, “Well you don’t get to TELL people. You can ASK if they want to take part - and I don’t.”

Well, she’s clearly gone whinging to our actual manager, as he spoke to me about it later in the day. He basically said that of course I didn’t have to put money in the box, but could I just humour my colleague a bit as “she means well”. Frankly I was getting pretty annoyed now and said I, and all of us, humour her enough already. That she’s not management and needs to stop acting like it. He seems to think it doesn’t matter that much, but I have had enough. I said I’d try to avoid swearing in front of her if she was genuinely offended, but she could forget it if she thought I was going to do just nod and smile.

I appreciate it’s probably gone too far. But honestly, I’m an adult in the workplace, not a character in an office sitcom. It’s not up to me to humour delusional clerical workers.

Should I push to get the box removed?

OP posts:
42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:21

FlowerVases · 06/10/2026 21:30

Just don't swear?

Or this woman could just mind her own business? It’s really not up to this one employee to decide what passes in their office.

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 22:23

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:18

Surely that’s not the point? What if you liked cake but someone unilaterally decided people couldn’t eat cake in the office, presumably you’d feel differently?

I think the point is not so much about personal preference but social acceptability.
Therein lies the rub.

Shoobadadoo · 06/10/2026 22:24

Just stop swearing it’s not nice

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 22:25

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:21

Or this woman could just mind her own business? It’s really not up to this one employee to decide what passes in their office.

Even if it's not socially acceptable?

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:26

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 22:23

I think the point is not so much about personal preference but social acceptability.
Therein lies the rub.

True, but one employee doesn’t decide the cultural expectations of a firm though? Surely these things are either left to employee discretion or centrally mandated.

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:27

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 22:25

Even if it's not socially acceptable?

The company decides what’s culturally acceptable in the form of a code of conduct. One employee doesn’t decide.

NormasArse · 06/10/2026 22:28

ShitFacedShakespeare · 06/10/2026 21:38

Pop in a fiver in advance.

Then call her a cunt 🤣

It would be worth it! 😁

Goldencoast2 · 06/10/2026 22:29

Yeah. I’d do similar to what others have suggested - dump a whole bag of coins in and ask her to keep track and let you know when you owe more.

theblame · 06/10/2026 22:30

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 06/10/2026 21:36

Fuck me, if there was a swear box where I work I'd be fucking bankrupt-very quickly.

I actually said that to my manager today before this thread even appeared!

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:30

Shoobadadoo · 06/10/2026 22:24

Just stop swearing it’s not nice

*You don’t think it’s nice.

Other people may hold different views.

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 22:33

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:26

True, but one employee doesn’t decide the cultural expectations of a firm though? Surely these things are either left to employee discretion or centrally mandated.

Edited

Nope.
We all understand social norms. We really do.
The whole point of swearing is to subvert social norms.
So in any normal work place I think you should be respectful of general social acceptability.

Soontobe60 · 06/10/2026 22:34

It’s wrong of her to bring in a swear box but it’s also wrong for people to be made uncomfortable by other employees swearing.

AngelinaFibres · 06/10/2026 22:34

I love the word CUNT. However fuck off also works

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 06/10/2026 22:35

There would need to be a list of what constitutes a swear word and a scale of prices before I would go along with a swearbox.

For example a 'bugger it' would be cheaper than 'fuck it', whilst 'oh Christ' isn't swearing at all.

If the word is not on the list, then there would be no charge. So I would demand that she creates the list or she else she should just sod off (1p).

Soontobe60 · 06/10/2026 22:35

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:30

*You don’t think it’s nice.

Other people may hold different views.

Yes they may indeed hold other views. That doesn’t mean it’s ok to ignore the opinions of people who cannot abhor swearing.

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 06/10/2026 22:35

Shoobadadoo · 06/10/2026 22:24

Just stop swearing it’s not nice

Neither's imposing fines on people. She's being disruptive and annoying, adults should be able to say shit in passing without being punished.

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:37

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 22:33

Nope.
We all understand social norms. We really do.
The whole point of swearing is to subvert social norms.
So in any normal work place I think you should be respectful of general social acceptability.

Edited

Social norms are not a well defined thing, that’s why companies have policies. They don’t rely on people magically agreeing on what is acceptable; they tell people. If the company policy prohibits swearing, the OP shouldn’t swear. If it doesn’t then she has no reason not to.

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:41

Soontobe60 · 06/10/2026 22:35

Yes they may indeed hold other views. That doesn’t mean it’s ok to ignore the opinions of people who cannot abhor swearing.

But it’s ok to ignore the opinions of people who think swearing is ok and to fine them money for their differing views?

BadLad · 06/10/2026 22:42

Besidemyselfwithworry · 06/10/2026 21:52

Throw 1p on the floor in front of her and say

find a penny pick it up all day long you’ll have good luck 🤣

What a shame she has nothing better to do!

Better still:

Find a penny, pick it up. And leave me be when I say fuck.

SeedsOfReason · 06/10/2026 22:44

I would say, "I won't be participating in the swear-box collection, but I'll try not to swear in front of you in future."

I don't think that can be argued with. She's allowed to find swearing offensive, she's entitled to courtesy from her colleagues, but she's not entitled to impose fines on people.

SeedsOfReason · 06/10/2026 22:45

BadLad · 06/10/2026 22:42

Better still:

Find a penny, pick it up. And leave me be when I say fuck.

😆

tigger1001 · 06/10/2026 22:46

thistimelastweek · 06/10/2026 22:33

Nope.
We all understand social norms. We really do.
The whole point of swearing is to subvert social norms.
So in any normal work place I think you should be respectful of general social acceptability.

Edited

That very much depends on where you are.

swearing where I am is very much the social norm.

swearing is commonplace in my workplace. Obviously not in front of clients. But in the office - yes swearing is heard often.

I had a client the other week call me and her exact words (in a very posh accent) were "hi tigger, how the fuck are you?" In a very light hearted tone. Did I use that language back to her? No. Was I offended? Also no

Beesandhoney123 · 06/10/2026 22:49

I wouldnt have any truck with a swear box but then again i would make an effort not to swear.

I am not very good at not swearing especially when i have told myself not to.
' Ffs put that fucking swearbox away Moira. Its jinxing me'

inerja · 06/10/2026 22:50

I can’t swear at work given the job I do.
I don’t think she should have the swear box but equally you shouldn’t really be swearing at work it’s unprofessional

lottiegarbanzo · 06/10/2026 22:51

Soontobe60 · 06/10/2026 22:35

Yes they may indeed hold other views. That doesn’t mean it’s ok to ignore the opinions of people who cannot abhor swearing.

Cannot abide. Who abhor swearing.

Maybe there should be a box for those who mangle English to pay into?

Sorry, I realise it’s a typo - but different people abhor different things.