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Swear box in the office

147 replies

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 06/10/2026 21:10

I work in a fairly small office (no big corporate chain; HR covered by the Operations Director). One of the women who works alongside me is a bit of a head cook and bottle washer type, who likes to think she has some authority because she has some general office management responsibilities. She can also be a bit prim; she’s older, and isn’t keen on the fact that we no longer have a traditional office dress code, or that people are a bit more informal in general these days. That’s obviously her choice, as long as she doesn’t try to push those views on anyone else.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago she was complaining there was too much swearing in the office and said she was going to bring in a swear box; that we’d all have to put money in for charity if we swore in the office. I thought she was kidding, but she actually made the bloody box and brought it in. I laughed to myself when I saw it. I certainly had no intention of going along with it, but I didn’t say anything, as if other people were happy to put some pennies in for charity, that was their choice.

Anyway, today I was talking in the office and described something as a “shitstorm”, and she actually came over jingling her little box at me. I just laughed and said, “Yeah - I never agreed to that”, not really believing she’d actually chase people for money. But no - she was serious. She said, “I told everyone I was bringing in a swear box. There’s too much swearing goes on in this office.” She then said that, as she knows people don’t carry as much cash these days, I could put an IOU on a post-it!

I sort of snorted and said, “You’re not serious”. But apparently she was. And took great exception. She said again, “I told everyone.” I snapped at this point and said, “Well you don’t get to TELL people. You can ASK if they want to take part - and I don’t.”

Well, she’s clearly gone whinging to our actual manager, as he spoke to me about it later in the day. He basically said that of course I didn’t have to put money in the box, but could I just humour my colleague a bit as “she means well”. Frankly I was getting pretty annoyed now and said I, and all of us, humour her enough already. That she’s not management and needs to stop acting like it. He seems to think it doesn’t matter that much, but I have had enough. I said I’d try to avoid swearing in front of her if she was genuinely offended, but she could forget it if she thought I was going to do just nod and smile.

I appreciate it’s probably gone too far. But honestly, I’m an adult in the workplace, not a character in an office sitcom. It’s not up to me to humour delusional clerical workers.

Should I push to get the box removed?

OP posts:
LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 06/10/2026 23:39

Berlinlover · 06/10/2026 23:28

Clean language is just basic manners and respect for those around you. You are choosing to ignore your workmate’s boundaries and comfort level. Surely you can communicate without using bad language or do you lack the professional vocabulary or emotional intelligence needed to express yourself constructively?

That’s not the point though. She can dislike it all she likes. What she cannot do is police it.

OP posts:
DesperateforSunshine · 06/10/2026 23:47

Jesus- we run the IT in dozens of offices - none are public - all private companies - the language between the guys and the girls is ferocious and atrocious and you’d struggle to decide who was wrong if there was was a decision to be made - there is no animosity - everyone takes it as fun- and the girls are better than the guys- a fucking swearbox would pay for a new Rolls Royce any month and nobody would bloody care. Just get on with it

Moomieboo · 06/10/2026 23:54

Tell her..."Fuck right off!!!"

Boreded · 06/10/2026 23:55

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 06/10/2026 23:38

It doesn’t though. She is trying to enforce her beliefs onto me.

Well like I said, I don’t agree with the swear box, but you seem like you’d start an argument in an empty room so I’m going to guess you’ll continue to swear around her rather than compromising and showing some office etiquette when you know you are upsetting someone.

It really isn’t a big deal to stop swearing around her, it makes absolutely no sense to continue to bother someone with something you have complete control over. Again though, from the nature of your responses you don’t really care much about anything other than the insufferable injustice of having a swear box.

Purpleharlow · 07/10/2026 00:00

Oh God, I was on your side, OP, but you sound insufferable.

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 07/10/2026 00:00

but you seem like you’d start an argument in an empty room

Oh, the irony…

OP posts:
Danikm151 · 07/10/2026 00:03

I’d purposefully say “ oh shit, i fucking swore again. Better get some fucking coins for the shitty swear box” then put 4 pennies in.

At my office we joke we should get a swear jar…. We’d have enough to pay for a xmas night out 😂

AlPaccacino · 07/10/2026 00:07

Legomania · 06/10/2026 21:34

I'm not desperate to swear at work but someone trying to police the odd 'shit' would massively grind my gears.

Otoh I'm assuming that calling someone a cunt would land you in front of HR in most workplaces

You should try sitting in an actual police meeting. I thought I was an old sweary pants but some of the filth that comes out of their mouths. And no ‘cunt’ does not land you in front of HR.

2025MUM2025 · 07/10/2026 00:17

ShitFacedShakespeare · 06/10/2026 21:38

Pop in a fiver in advance.

Then call her a cunt 🤣

🤣🤣

QuietlyWonderful · 07/10/2026 00:18

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 06/10/2026 22:35

There would need to be a list of what constitutes a swear word and a scale of prices before I would go along with a swearbox.

For example a 'bugger it' would be cheaper than 'fuck it', whilst 'oh Christ' isn't swearing at all.

If the word is not on the list, then there would be no charge. So I would demand that she creates the list or she else she should just sod off (1p).

... Else she should just sod off (1p).

I would demand a refund
of that 1p. When I was 8, my mum once told me off for saying someone was a sod, then checked "do you know what that means?" I said "yes, it's a lump of earth".

Fortuity · 07/10/2026 00:28

Berlinlover · 06/10/2026 23:28

Clean language is just basic manners and respect for those around you. You are choosing to ignore your workmate’s boundaries and comfort level. Surely you can communicate without using bad language or do you lack the professional vocabulary or emotional intelligence needed to express yourself constructively?

Oh, come off it. Sure, there's no need for conversations when every other word is "fucking" - apart from anything else, it's so tedious and unimaginative.. However, when you're having an informal conversation with a colleague about something that is a horrendous mess, "shitstorm" is a perfectly normal word to use. If you are very busy and your work involves any sort of pressure, it's unreasonable for your colleagues to police the occasional "shit" or "shitstorm". If that makes someone else feel uncomfortable, I would have to question whether they are really suited to working in a busy office environment.

pizzaHeart · 07/10/2026 00:35

I do swear when I bump my toe or realize that forgotten risotto is burning, or mobile is not working (again!) - this sort of situations but swearing when you are with other people especially in professional capacity … No it doesn’t look good. So I would try stop swearing in the office.
I wouldn’t mind having swearing box but I would mind your colleague’s attitude. I think if you don’t want to participate- you don’t. She can complain about you swearing but she can’t force you to use the box.

Nlsa · 07/10/2026 00:46

Shitstorm is a good informative word IMO.

This woman’s behaviour is absolutely pathetic.

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 07/10/2026 03:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 07/10/2026 03:01

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 07/10/2026 00:00

but you seem like you’d start an argument in an empty room

Oh, the irony…

Oh, wait - I hadn’t seen your username before I replied. Now it all makes sense.

OP posts:
Onlythisnamewasavailable · 07/10/2026 06:46

She shouldn't be pushing the swear box without other people's agreement

At the same time though it's incredibly unprofessional to swear in an office environment.

Daffodilsinthespring · 07/10/2026 06:57

I wouldn’t go as far as a swear box but generally people swear too much now. It’s not nice. (And I agree with her about everything being too informal now). Your swearing is causing offence.

Whyherewego · 07/10/2026 07:08

I agree she has no right to police it. But if she finds it offensive then of course you can agree to try to moderate language when speaking to her.
What the manager needs to tell her is that she cannot be listening in or being annoyed when she overhears other people swearing in conversations that don't involve her. And she cant enforce the swear jar of course !

Besidemyselfwithworry · 07/10/2026 07:17

BadLad · 06/10/2026 22:42

Better still:

Find a penny, pick it up. And leave me be when I say fuck.

Love this 😂

Anarchy99 · 07/10/2026 07:24

We had this a few years ago. I asked the instigator for confirmation that every word carried the same fine or whether there was a sliding scale. (I mean, if the fine is the same, why not say fuck rather than bloody 🤣). I said I couldn’t participate until she could clarify. I also asked whether she was going to fine the boss.. She couldn’t answer and the swear box went away.

1AngelicFruitCake · 07/10/2026 07:34

I can’t stand swearing, especially at work but I think she’s out of order having a swear box and policing you all.

Soontobe60 · 07/10/2026 07:34

42goingon14 · 06/10/2026 22:41

But it’s ok to ignore the opinions of people who think swearing is ok and to fine them money for their differing views?

If you read my posts you’ll see I said the swear box thing is unacceptable. Do you honestly think that within a work environment being allowed to swear because you think it’s ok trumps not being allowed to swear because it makes some people uncomfortable? What a strange way to look at things.
By your standard, if a colleague is constantly saying other things that make someone feel uncomfortable that’s ok? What about if it’s a bloke repeatedly calling the women at work ‘babes’, ‘birds’, ‘sweetheart’, ‘bints’? He thinks it’s ok so he should be able to say it?

cartagenagina · 07/10/2026 07:39

I wouldn’t push to have the box removed, I would continue to ignore it.

42goingon14 · 07/10/2026 07:54

Soontobe60 · 07/10/2026 07:34

If you read my posts you’ll see I said the swear box thing is unacceptable. Do you honestly think that within a work environment being allowed to swear because you think it’s ok trumps not being allowed to swear because it makes some people uncomfortable? What a strange way to look at things.
By your standard, if a colleague is constantly saying other things that make someone feel uncomfortable that’s ok? What about if it’s a bloke repeatedly calling the women at work ‘babes’, ‘birds’, ‘sweetheart’, ‘bints’? He thinks it’s ok so he should be able to say it?

The point I’m making is that the company decides what’s ok, not a single employee. You might think the particular line this employee is drawing is reasonable but there is no reason to say the next line would be, which is why the company decides.

What if someone decides it’s upsetting to watch people eating meat lunch time because they are vegetarian? What is they are vegan so they don’t want to see any cheese sandwiches?

You may or may not think those things would be reasonable, but it demonstrates why the company should decide because different (reasonable) people would take different views.

MrsVBS · 07/10/2026 08:23

She sounds old school and probably annoying to work with however I hate swearing in the office, don’t get me wrong I swear and not prim by any means but someone I work with who generally works at home swears like a trooper when she comes in and it sounds really unprofessional.