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Swear box in the office

147 replies

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 06/10/2026 21:10

I work in a fairly small office (no big corporate chain; HR covered by the Operations Director). One of the women who works alongside me is a bit of a head cook and bottle washer type, who likes to think she has some authority because she has some general office management responsibilities. She can also be a bit prim; she’s older, and isn’t keen on the fact that we no longer have a traditional office dress code, or that people are a bit more informal in general these days. That’s obviously her choice, as long as she doesn’t try to push those views on anyone else.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago she was complaining there was too much swearing in the office and said she was going to bring in a swear box; that we’d all have to put money in for charity if we swore in the office. I thought she was kidding, but she actually made the bloody box and brought it in. I laughed to myself when I saw it. I certainly had no intention of going along with it, but I didn’t say anything, as if other people were happy to put some pennies in for charity, that was their choice.

Anyway, today I was talking in the office and described something as a “shitstorm”, and she actually came over jingling her little box at me. I just laughed and said, “Yeah - I never agreed to that”, not really believing she’d actually chase people for money. But no - she was serious. She said, “I told everyone I was bringing in a swear box. There’s too much swearing goes on in this office.” She then said that, as she knows people don’t carry as much cash these days, I could put an IOU on a post-it!

I sort of snorted and said, “You’re not serious”. But apparently she was. And took great exception. She said again, “I told everyone.” I snapped at this point and said, “Well you don’t get to TELL people. You can ASK if they want to take part - and I don’t.”

Well, she’s clearly gone whinging to our actual manager, as he spoke to me about it later in the day. He basically said that of course I didn’t have to put money in the box, but could I just humour my colleague a bit as “she means well”. Frankly I was getting pretty annoyed now and said I, and all of us, humour her enough already. That she’s not management and needs to stop acting like it. He seems to think it doesn’t matter that much, but I have had enough. I said I’d try to avoid swearing in front of her if she was genuinely offended, but she could forget it if she thought I was going to do just nod and smile.

I appreciate it’s probably gone too far. But honestly, I’m an adult in the workplace, not a character in an office sitcom. It’s not up to me to humour delusional clerical workers.

Should I push to get the box removed?

OP posts:
Malasana · 08/10/2026 06:26

@LydiaTheTattooedLardarse has she said what she’s going to be doing with the money in the swear box? Is she going to be keeping it?!
Stick to your guns. As long as you aren’t swearing “at” someone or calling them something horrible, I don’t see the problem.

SuperSange · 08/10/2026 06:51

Your manager is crap; he wants you to go along with it so he doesn’t have to manage her. Call him a dickhead and put a quid in. 😂

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 08/10/2026 09:34

Malasana · 08/10/2026 06:26

@LydiaTheTattooedLardarse has she said what she’s going to be doing with the money in the swear box? Is she going to be keeping it?!
Stick to your guns. As long as you aren’t swearing “at” someone or calling them something horrible, I don’t see the problem.

No, she says it’s going to go to charity. Which is another thing she’s using to shut down any complaints about it.

OP posts:
Malasana · 08/10/2026 09:38

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 08/10/2026 09:34

No, she says it’s going to go to charity. Which is another thing she’s using to shut down any complaints about it.

I bet it’s a charity of her choosing as well with no input from anyone else.
Tell her you aren’t participating in her nonsense and she doesn’t get to police the office. If there’s an issue with language it’s for the manager to police and not her. People like this are so annoying.

BalonzMcBalonzface · 08/10/2026 10:39

SuperSange · 08/10/2026 06:51

Your manager is crap; he wants you to go along with it so he doesn’t have to manage her. Call him a dickhead and put a quid in. 😂

Call him a dickhead and DON'T put a quid in, is the point.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 08/10/2026 10:40

MyballsareSandy2015 · 06/10/2026 21:29

Tell her she’s a cunt and you’ve got absolutely no intention of using her fucking swear box.

I did actually laugh out loud at this. Just the grumpiness of it 😁

BalonzMcBalonzface · 08/10/2026 10:44

Just to push her buttons, Tourettes Action would appreciate her donation.

CoffeeAndACroissant · 08/10/2026 11:00

I love the word shit. It has so many uses.

If you are a little shit then you are a cunt but if you are THE shit then you are the bee's knees.

I'm not sure you can even call yourself British if you haven't described something as a "shit show" at least once (I'll await my beating from the prim crowd now).

If you had said something like "this project is fucking terrible and everyone working on it is a cunt" then she might have a point. But shit storm is soooo tame.

Rosepinks · 08/10/2026 12:03

Who is she to demand money from anyone and then decide its going to charity?
CF.

Sometimes with this type you need to out outrage THEM.

Put THEIR behaviour under the spotlight.

YOU feel targeted, harrassed and that she is trying to extract money from YOU.

That type don't like it at all when the spot light and rage is at THEIR behaviour.

Give her a bit of outrage and drama.
Great sport in it.

Your boss is party to the harassment if they are telling you to put up with it.

Grievances are made for less.

Stick an email into your boss about feeling targeted and that should give them pause.😁

Reminds me of many years ago the office queen bee was a total gossip and pain in the arse, but it came out she was having an affair.
It got back to her that on a night out that a few from the office were on, were discussing her. I was there, as was my flatmate who didn't work for the company, and a few others friends of friends.

Anyway she went to her boss, made a complaint about being gossiped about and I received an email, as did my co workers, from the department head, asking that we refrain from gossiping about staff.

The cheek of her.
Couldn't believe it.
I wasn't even in that particular conversation as there were about 12 of us out.

I escalated it to my lovely boss, who told me go for it, so I email the HR director, and the full board of directors.
Copied everyone that had been on the original email.

I spelt out that I was out with a mix friends that didn't even work for the company, and we were being told what we could discuss by a department head for the company?

I wanted clarification as to exactly what right the company had to do such a thing?

Well obviously it was the talk of the place.
Lots of talk about seeking legal advice on our rights to other department heads.
Lots of moral outrage!

The senior management team were WTF.
HR emailed us all directly apologising on behalf of management and completely disassociating themselves completely from the totally batshit solo run.

The boss got her arse absolutely handed to her.
An email of profuse apologies from her, claiming a complete misunderstanding yada yada, of her good intentions etc.,

Queen bee was told clean up her private life if she didn't want to be gossiped about.
Both moved on to pastures new with 6 months.
It provided us with a great diversion for weeks.

tigger1001 · 08/10/2026 13:12

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 08/10/2026 09:34

No, she says it’s going to go to charity. Which is another thing she’s using to shut down any complaints about it.

I'd be asking: which charity? Who chooses the charity? Can it be a different charity per month? Will she show the receipts of the funds to the charity?

then I would say I give already to the charities lose to my heart, I'm not giving any more

BillyBites · 08/10/2026 13:43

LydiaTheTattooedLardarse · 08/10/2026 09:34

No, she says it’s going to go to charity. Which is another thing she’s using to shut down any complaints about it.

OK, well you don’t have to donate to her unilateral choice of charity.

pointythings · 08/10/2026 14:04

I would be going the monopoly money route myself. Mind you, your colleague wouldn't last 5 minutes in our team.

Canyoubelievethesepeople · 08/10/2026 19:46

Erm… do you not have an employee code of conduct that enforces acceptable professional behaviour? If you were one of my employees swearing would be final written warning.
Agree she’s not in a position to manage you, she should put in a formal complaint through the correct policy.

Anarchy99 · 08/10/2026 19:50

Canyoubelievethesepeople · 08/10/2026 19:46

Erm… do you not have an employee code of conduct that enforces acceptable professional behaviour? If you were one of my employees swearing would be final written warning.
Agree she’s not in a position to manage you, she should put in a formal complaint through the correct policy.

Final written warning? What about the verbal and first written warning?

Working with someone like swear jar woman is utterly tedious. I was much better at the job we both did so I could guarantee they weren’t going to try to sack me over her.

Legomania · 08/10/2026 20:31

Canyoubelievethesepeople · 08/10/2026 19:46

Erm… do you not have an employee code of conduct that enforces acceptable professional behaviour? If you were one of my employees swearing would be final written warning.
Agree she’s not in a position to manage you, she should put in a formal complaint through the correct policy.

Let me guess, you don't run an office

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 08/10/2026 20:35

Fuck, I work for the NHS and we couldn't get through the day without swearing, mostly about entitled, rude cunts.

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 08/10/2026 20:37

Canyoubelievethesepeople · 08/10/2026 19:46

Erm… do you not have an employee code of conduct that enforces acceptable professional behaviour? If you were one of my employees swearing would be final written warning.
Agree she’s not in a position to manage you, she should put in a formal complaint through the correct policy.

Seriously? You'd run a very miserable business. I have been an employer and the only rule was not to swear in front of the public.

Branleuse · 08/10/2026 20:41

Could you do a micromanaging box, and if anyone says anything controlling or annoying then they have to put money in the box. For charity of course.

Merida46 · 08/10/2026 22:30

I would write "fuck off" on a post it and stick it in her swear box!

Merida46 · 08/10/2026 22:34

Shoobadadoo · 06/10/2026 22:24

Just stop swearing it’s not nice

Stop being a judgemental cunt, it's not nice!

SALaw · 08/10/2026 22:38

Canyoubelievethesepeople · 08/10/2026 19:46

Erm… do you not have an employee code of conduct that enforces acceptable professional behaviour? If you were one of my employees swearing would be final written warning.
Agree she’s not in a position to manage you, she should put in a formal complaint through the correct policy.

JFC don’t get a job in law, finance, banking, NHS, manufacturing, IT or many many other places. People swear all the time? Final fucking written warning?!?!

Onbdy · 08/10/2026 22:42

MyballsareSandy2015 · 06/10/2026 21:29

Tell her she’s a cunt and you’ve got absolutely no intention of using her fucking swear box.

😂😂😂
Yep! This would be my response to that fucking bollocks!

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