To not buy her a tail, so she can be like her friend who ‘is a therian’

[Laura9899]

My ten year old has a friend who seems nice and has sane sensible normal parents and yet she wears a tail and tells my daughter she’s a therian. I’m not in any way happy with all the furry rubbish and this feels along the same lines. My daughter has now asked to be a cat for Halloween, then asked for a furry tail as part of her costume, and now I think it’s actually so she can join in with her friend. They are only ten so it’s likely just play but there’s no way I’m letting her go out in a tail 🙄.

Oh right they sound nuts then - sorry I had misread your comment as it being a group of parents all disagreeing with you rather than one idiot (or troll) on Reddit or wherever!

I thought that was your DD’s friend though. Not your DD?

Yes, when we were about 5.

It's amazing how often this same scenario has appeared here over the years. I had no idea it was so common.

Tr33tos · 27/09/2026 06:38
Honestly the MN frothing is hysterical.We all used to pretend we were horses and gallop around the park when we were kids , ditto role playing cats and dogs.
Maybe MN should publish a list of what some posters deem acceptable in the world of make believe. Honestly I pity the way some of the way brains on here work. It must be exhausting and miserable.

But pretending you are a cat or a horse and galloping around the park isn't the issue, in this thread nor the very similar thread which is currently active (which has been pointed out several times).

The issue is ten year old children being exposed to the therian subculture and claiming they are therians.

I thought this thread is about a girl wanting a Halloween costume, and OP assuming that means she wants to be a “therian” like her friend. Of course her friend is weird, but OP has conflated this weirdness with something perfectly normal and reacted as if the thing she’s worried about happening next is what is actually happening now.

im going with subtle ridicule…
ahhh its cute your friend likes to play dress ups still. What a cute little thing she is. I think you’re a bit more grown up aren’t you…

sorry friend

I'm sure that can't possibly backfire so you end up with a dc who doesn't feel safe talking to you about their private thoughts!

Shaming dc for having an interest you don't approve of is only going to hurt her self-esteem and damage your relationship.

Sometimes I think it’s the shit we all did but it now has got labels and attention.

I distinctly remember pretending to be a horse in year 5. I used to gallop everywhere in my Irish dancing taps, I’d eat and drink like a horse (my mammy would give me water in a sandcastle bucket) and I’d neigh. Now did I know I wasn’t a horse - of course but I loved horses and just loved being one.

Not sure when or how I outgrew it but rest assured I no longer do it!

Honestly just get her the costume and leave her to her imagination, if she tells you she’s a therian tell her ‘you’re a little girl who likes dressing up as a cat and that’s wonderful you’re so imaginative’

That’s what I used to think, but some of this stuff is actually quite sinister….kids go online attracted to cute animal stuff, who do you think is hanging around waiting to take advantage of that? It’s grooming.

Young children pretend to be animals,
of course they do, but not by age 10 usually, and therian/furry culture is not just about dressing up and pretend play

Please don't do this. Youre beibg realky mean to her abd her friend l. If you don't want to buy her one then have the adult conversation about
why.

Agreeing with @tripleginandtonic and @Stompythedinosaur .
OP, your daughter would like a fluffy cat’s tail to complete her costume for Halloween and she’s aged ten. There is nothing unusual about this, don’t start worrying her unnecessarily and especially not by insulting her intelligence. Who do you think children might turn to when their parents don’t understand? Always be on her side and open to listening without ridicule or shame. My love of animals has led to me being a wildlife artist. I particularly love cats, foxes, wolves and rabbits and have some pieces of jewellery (silver or copper pendants) which is how I express this as well as with my art.

Are you sure she has ‘sane, sensible, normal’ parents? You can say no to 10 year olds. Presumably they bought her the tail and are going along with it.

A majority of people stop playing pretend at 10 but thousands don’t - even adults do it (it’s called LARP, SCA, re-enactment, and of course, am dram).

Maybe I am terribly naïve. I always just assumed it was imaginative play. They enjoyed it for a time and then on to the next thing. There didn't seem to be any sexual element to it, though I know this is a "thing, and the kids know they're not cats/ foxes.

You are being naive I’m afraid.
Of course the 10 year olds don’t realise there’s a sexual element to this and yes it is tragic that two 10 year olds can’t just run around pretending to be cats.
Unfortunately for some adults who see them dressed up in person, or have access to them in online in “furry” forums, it is sexual.
Allowing children to get involved in this is making them vulnerable.

The anti trans brigade are obsessed with fetishes, they see fetish everywhere even when they look at kids playing.