To share this gem about the menopause with you all!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

Taken from a book I found today in a charity shop. So much to say that its hard to know where to start!

The Radio Doctor's Dictionary of Health by Charles Hill, published in 1952.

There may or many not be seven stages of man. There are certainly three phases in the life of a woman. The first is the phase of childhood which passes with the physical and mental changes occurring at puberty into the second or middle phase of womanhood.
The third phase begins, usually between the ages of forty and forty-five, with the so-called menopause or change of life. Puberty, which may begin at the age of twelve or thirteen, come on with amazing quickness. The menopause on the other hand, develops slowly and deliberately. It marks the end of menstruation which first becomes irregular and later disappears. The change of life completed, there can no longer be childbearing.
The menopause is marked by both mental and physical changes. The warmth of physical feelings gives way to the calmness of serene affection, and quite often to a wider interest in the affairs of the world. The change may take one or two years, varying in length in different people. The reproductive organs, no longer functioning, become smaller. There may be symptoms which for a while unpleasant. For example, there may be sweating and giddiness, heats or flushes. These sensations may come on without warning. For most women, this is all that happens. Occasionally, however, there may be trying headaches and uneasy sensations, particularly in the breasts. At this time some women begin to put on weight. Much more rarely there are nervous troubles, particularly amongst those whose days are too leisured.
What can be done? For the most part, nothing need be done. It is best, though this is not always easy, to ignore what is happening and to carry on a normal life. The sympathy of others is no good. Giving in is a mistake. The less notice is taken of the change of life, the more quickly it seems to pass.
It helps to cut down diet, although nowadays our rations do that for us. Alcohol affords no relief. Indeed, it may make matters worse rather than better. The change of life, it must be remembered, is a normal, natural thing. It is not an illness or the beginning of an illness. It's a milestone, not a millstone.
The change may bring with it a release of energy, a need for activity in many new directions. Occasionally it makes a woman appear a little too managing, because she is filled with a desire to reform the lives of other. But most women suffer little or nothing. Eighty-five out of every hundred women pass through the menopause without being troubled by it. This is the occasion for an important warning. If the periods, having stopped, should appear to start again, a doctor should always be consulted,. There may be something wrong.

The third phase of life is sometimes the richest phase, the one in which to find tranquillity, and a full peaceful happiness.

I did struggle to disagree with a lot of the original message tbf

Sorry, what is wrong with this text? I am a woman, been through it and I agree with every word.

This is from The Modern Woman's Medical Guide, dated 1949.

"Should the wife hear rumours that her husband is seeing too much of some woman, and suspects that he is being unfaithful to her, what should be her course of action? If her marriage has been a happy one and she knows that her husband loves her, perhaps the wisest course to take is to avoid self pity as far as possible and to refrain from making scenes. A man who has been happily married and has children of his own will seldom break up the home unless he is forced into it by a nagging, recriminating wife. Hence many wives decide, at such times, to continue being as attractive and friendly as they can."

The warmth of physical feelings gives way to the calmness of serene affection - he is referring to sex here and it does not contradict that you can feel RAGE about things.

The article says ovaries ‘might’ go on to be part of the immune system. They don’t actually know yet.

Oh dead god!!!! Can you imagine if someone replied like that in a mumsnet post!!

Loving this thread! Wonder what people will think of our self-help books in 50 years time!!

I can see why that was written then, not much a woman in that situation could do, so pragmatism is the way to survive. No money and the stigma of divorce. I know my grandmother (and to a lesser extent my mother) would both judge the woman who's husband left for another woman more than they would judge him. Because if he had been happy at home then he wouldnt have left so it was her fault.

So sad though.

This one won't work today - we, women, earn and sometimes outearn our husbands, I agree. Not applicable today. However, a friend of mine who made a scene and left her cheating partner, is kicking herself now (I posted about her before), because the cheating partner's family stopped paying for her children's school, stopped paying for the house and she is now living in a council flat (partner did not earn, was a rich man of leisure, his family bankrolled him). So, in relationships where there is a huge disparity of wealth and if this wealth is not accessible post separation by a poorer partner, I would (like my friend to) recommend not to nag and recriminate - unless you don't care about the financial consequences.

This is pretty much exactly what I was thinking as I typed it.

There's another bit where it says, and I'm paraphrasing here, if you are single and sexually frustrated, don't become a massive wanker, take up athletics instead. 😆

Agree with you all, am working like a horse and do what I want, but. But - say I was married to a really really really rich guy and I did not have to work as a horse, and he was nice and I had access to his cash and he was sleeping with a mistress - would I cause a row, go through a divorce and make lawyers rich or would I say 'could not give a shit and continue reading my books on a yacht'? Again, here we are against hypothetical massive disparity in money and I am not in my 20s, so I would rather read a book, thank you.

Others decide to take up gardening, with a particular focus on eradicating greenfly from their roses. An activity requiring the purchase of vast quantities of arsenic.

Could the author have a word with my menopause please I am 58 and still only in the latter stages. The rage I tell you, bring forth the tranquillity please.

@Dabralor i think you’re onto something there. Even my GP said the same, so many more women are working in stressful careers, dealing with children and teenagers and elderly parents and everything else that goes with modern day life that it exacerbates symptoms that our mothers and grandmothers possibly barely noticed! (My GP is female with 4 teenagers!)

Well, frankly, I fully intend to blame supernatural forces for any unexpected weight gain. 😆

ooooh damn! Poor you 😢

85 out of 100no symptoms. The other 15 probably suffered enormously with “their nerves” and were dosed up on Valium.

Me too. Some of it I agree with.

I do wonder if that is what is making it so much harder for modern women to cope with.

I know my Grandma said she barely noticed menopause, she did work but 2 hours a day doing school cleaning. My sister and I have both really struggled with it. You cant just stop and have a sit down for ten minutes until the flush passes and you feel better if you have a client meeting (say), and the self consciousness that comes with it makes it all worse. Whereas at home most of the time, you can take a break if you need one, the washing will still be there in half an hour.

The comment about women who have too much leisure time was a doozy.

The message is "work your way through it, dont moan and dont expect any allowances to be made".

I could agree more, but it causes uproar to say so publicly. My own menopause was nothing, really.

My great grandparents had a book like that written c1900.

Books like Dr Hill's were very necessary because 'female maladies' weren't talked about openly. I think I remember reading that the BBC switchboard went into meltdown in 1948 when a doctor mentioned the words 'womb' and 'hysterectomy' on bloody Woman's Hour of all things. And it wasn't uncommon for girls to start periods and not understand what was happening to them.

Whilst it’s a load of paternalistic tosh - I am much calmer. I used to get bad PMT and am now much less volatile and emotional and yes, serene!

I thought only Continental expectations of wives were as extraordinarily awful as this!

It is probably true that the husband won’t actually leave so long as a wife behaves in this recommended way.

But nowadays she wouldn’t want to keep someone like him anyway, and with the benefit of a modern women’s foresight, she will have realised, with her mother’s advice from a young age, that she must be sure she can support herself so she can do without him.

I have read his entry on Menstruation, which is long so I wont type it out.

He kind of glosses over the painful aspects (quelle surprise) but he did make a point of saying that parents (mothers) should explain to their daughters what will happen as so many young girls dont know and are then very scared. I was happy to read that alongside a full explanation of why he believed young girls need to know, and how best to recognise the signs of when to tell them.

My own Grandmother (b 1919) thought she was dying, she told me so. But then my mother said the same thing! So she knew how mum would feel, but still didnt tell her in advance.

Mum didnt really tell me and my sister because we were Gen X and got the bare bones of it from school, but she did walk up to me one day when I was about 10 and gave me a book saying "read this" and that was it! I sent for the free Tampax sample and booklet you could get (anyone else remember those?) and she confiscated it saying that tampons were only for married women!