Sibling graduation is an exceptional curcumstance

[Oldgalgames]

I recently applied to my DD13's school for 1 days absence to attend her sisters graduation (DD22) in November which has been declined as its not deemed an 'exceptional circumstance'. My DD13 had 98% attendance last year, was off for the flu last November which has been her only absence, is in top sets for all STEM subects. I know we wont get a fine, and we will be attending as a family anyway, its more the principle as I do truely believe this is of course an exceptional circumstance. A sibling's university graduation happens once or twice in a lifetime, it’s an important family milestone and incredibly inspiring for a 13 year-old to witness. I should add this is the first ever request I have submitted to school for an absence!

I am being unreasonable, school are right to decline this request as its not an exceptional circumstance

I am not being unreasonable it is an exceptional circumstance

Yes they can and could approve it. My son had exceptional leave approved so he could do a sports event. It's only one day!

YABU to use the phrase 'academic journey'.

And far better to be honest than lie.

I do understand what you are saying, however we do everything right, my daughter is on time every single day, supports school rules, stays on top of her homework, and has excellent attendance. She works hard, excels in top sets, and never causes a moment of trouble.
So you hope a school would view a request like this in context of a supportive family celebrating a major educational success that actively inspires her own future, instead it just feels like a slap in the face for parents who consistently do the right thing. Its the principle rather than the consequence that has annoyed me

Soon we shall have to ask for written permission to go for a shit. This is ridiculous. What better educational example than to attend this graduation, to show to your child the way forward, the way to university and beyond. Idiotic school, idiots in charge.

Exactly - I imagine the school would much prefer you just called your child in sick rather than explicitly laying out your intention to do something that they most likely agree is an overall positive, but are not permitted to explicitly endorse (or will generate professional risk for themselves by doing so).

'Not wanting to lie' is being unhelpfully black and white - which is not something you want to model for children either in my opinion.

It’s not an exceptional circumstance. Imagine if all the kids had a day off for a siblings graduation.
that said if I wanted my dd to be there and she wanted to go I’d have just said she was sick and taken her.

Why is it an exceptional reason? No i don't think it is

The child is from a super academic family, she doesn't need to go an a graduation ceremony to be inspired to go to university.

It's not the 1970s, about half the population goes to university, in schools nowadays ime it's more unusual not to be funneled to uni

It’s not at all exceptional. Even if it were allowed, I wouldn’t be taking a 13-year-old along.

I think it's unusual to attend a sibling's graduation. DS1 graduated last year and most people only had parents there.
There were some really young children, I don't know if they were students' children or if they were siblings the parents couldn't get childcare for.
Definitely no teenagers though. It's not really worth missing a day of school for.

I agree, We’re in Scotland.
The English system of fines is totally alien to me

OP, I’m sure you’re very proud of your daughter. But 50% of children in the UK graduate, half of the children with older siblings at your younger DC’s school will have one that graduates. Do you think the school should give them all a day off for that?

I think it’s fantastic your DD wants to be there to celebrate her older sister’s achievement and the school should authorise it. Not that it matters - go anyway and have a great day.
It seems there is no consistency between schools, or even within the same school. We’ve had an application approved for one child and refused for another to attend the same event!

And graduations are what you make of them. Yes the ceremony can be a bit dull for some, but there’s more to the day than that if you want there to be.

Yeah this. Honestly, you know what things are like these days, and a day's absence is easy covered (as long as your daughter isn't silly enough to go shouting about it at school!)

But it IS boring. My own graduation was boring as fuck. I come from an academic family as well and graduation wasn't really seen as something to celebrate- just something very natural. For a friend of mine it was different- she was the first in her family to attend university so it was (rightly) a big deal and she had worked hard for it. Your DD, like me, just followed a natural path and so will your dd2. No need to attend a boring ceremony.

I put YABU because just take the unauthorised absence - it has no bearing on anything as long as your child is doing well

Yeah but that's the point really, who died and put ofsted in charge of deciding what exceptional circumstances are. Most people would class one off milestone events as exceptional (by definition). For some reason ofsted think it's just people dying. Mad really.

The parameters around what is considered an exceptional circumstance are very narrow. The head teacher can’t just authorise anything.
There is difference between a child competing in a sporting event and a child attending a siblings graduation.

@Oldgalgames you can dance to their tune all day long and it won’t make the school give a shit.
Thats a good life lesson for your DD, do what you need to, and work hard, but don’t expect anyone else to be that arsed.

Nowhere in the OP have I read 'super academic family' - where did you get that info from?

You only usually get two tickets, so probably none for siblings. I couldn't go to my brother's.

Don’t sweat it, so what if it’s not authorised, presumably you’re still going to take her anyway, as you should. Let them mark it unauthorised, no one died.

This is a lot of angst for what is essentially just a tick in a column.

Taking a child to a sibling’s graduation is not a normal thing to do and doesn’t have any value for the child so I’m not surprised the school won’t authorise it.

Why do you care though? Just take it as an unauthorised absence. You’re not going to get fined for one day!