Sibling graduation is an exceptional curcumstance

[Oldgalgames]

I recently applied to my DD13's school for 1 days absence to attend her sisters graduation (DD22) in November which has been declined as its not deemed an 'exceptional circumstance'. My DD13 had 98% attendance last year, was off for the flu last November which has been her only absence, is in top sets for all STEM subects. I know we wont get a fine, and we will be attending as a family anyway, its more the principle as I do truely believe this is of course an exceptional circumstance. A sibling's university graduation happens once or twice in a lifetime, it’s an important family milestone and incredibly inspiring for a 13 year-old to witness. I should add this is the first ever request I have submitted to school for an absence!

I am being unreasonable, school are right to decline this request as its not an exceptional circumstance

I am not being unreasonable it is an exceptional circumstance

I truly feel that we have to put a lot of the blame for this level of daftness on the government and ofsted. The pressure on schools over attendance is insane.

However you are completely right to take your son. It is a big celebration for your family.

Ofcourse the school has to decline your request, their priority is your child’s education.

However, you shouldn’t have involved them and just called in sick for one day.

It is ridiculous for the school to deny it.

A graduation will be incredibly dull for a child though. It is dull enough for adults.

My siblings did not attend my graduation and I did not attend theirs. My parents attended mine and TBH it was a somewhat dull event.

YABU in my opinion. DD13 has no need to attend.

Why do they have to decline it? They are able to authorise requests in exceptional circumstances. I dont want to teach my children to lie

Can you even get enough tickets for your 13 yr old to come? A lot of of universities limit it to 2 per student

No she shouldn’t lie and tell her son to lie to the school. The one day unauthorised doesn’t matter at all. The school won’t do anything.

It’s not exceptional. I would still take my child though and just report as sick.

Another thread that makes me want to get off the sofa and kiss the Irish soil and thank god that I got my English husband to move from England before we had kids. You go to your lovely family day out, and ignore the nonsense. That family day will be as you say an inspiration to your young child. School are being completely unreasonable.

Graduation isn’t an exceptional circumstance. A death in the family is.

Schools don’t really have much discretion in it any more. Unless it meets the government definition of an exception circumstance it won’t be granted.
I put in requests knowing they’ll be unauthorised and knowing I’m going to do it anyway.

I would have thought the school would encourage this as it’s a celebration of achievement and could be extremely motivating. I think the school were wrong to deny it

Just take them, and don’t worry your head about it. I took my child out for 1 day to accompany me to an international competition representing GBR. They gave it as unauthorised absence and wished me luck in the same email. We went. No consequences. Only 1 day so it didn’t matter. They are just following procedure and as it has no fine or consequences there is nothing to be bothered about. Just move on.

Her son won’t even be asked about his day-off.

This. It’s really out of the schools hands now.
There are strict guidelines now which are set by the government.

Exceptional circumstances aren’t defined by the school. They are set out in legislation. The school is just applying this, as they have to.

If a once in a lifetime family academic achievement isn't 'exceptional,' then what is? by definition, that is an exceptional, non-routine event. It isn't a holiday to Disney it’s an educational milestone that actively models higher education for a 13 year old. When her older sister attended my graduation years ago (which interestingly was authorised) it directly inspired her own academic journey.

Its not exceptional for a family member to graduate though, is it? If they authorised yours they would have to do it for everyone. Even for families with ten children and both parents currently at university

My kids went to private school. Rarely absent. One year we went to the US for Easter to visit family (including my very elderly mother, the next time we went was for her funeral) and as school resumed the Tuesday after Easter Monday to get there (overnight flight, then four hour journey including a ferry) we would have to have left Easter Sunday. School very very reluctant to approve it and I got a lecture about how important the first day of a new term was blah blah blah. Made not a blind bit of difference, but guess they had to stick to school policy!

A death, a parents marriage. It’s exceptional to you maybe, but it really isn’t exceptional - it’s a non issue anyway for your family. Just remove him or her for the day.

I agree. But it’s not defined by the school, it’s defined by the government. They’re just working within the very narrow framework they’re given.

I wish people would stop blaming the school/headteacher. Most teachers and headteachers would have no problem with this and many other reasons to be off for a day. But there's no leeway any more. Blame the government and its lackey, OFSTED. Everything's set in stone, and heads get grilled on absence as a major point of every inspection.

Absence rate alone can drop a school from Good to Needs Improvement. And if it gets that grade or below, parents will be concerned and start looking for another school.

The key word here is guidence. There is no fixed statutory definition in the legislation that explicitly forbids a headteacher from authorising a single day for a major academic milestone like a sibling's university graduation. Choosing to treat a one off higher education graduation the exact same as a standard holiday request isn't a legal requirement it’s a choice to apply blanket rules rather than use the discretion the law actually gives them.

I can understand why you feel that the school is being unfair.
However, they have to follow policy to support optimal attendance.
Like anything, there will always be some who misuse and milk it so the policy applies to all, irrespective of attendance.
There are likely to be other requests from parents for events that they perceive to be exceptional circumstances.
That's why there are policies.
Enjoy the graduation OP.
Fwiw, some close family members missed my graduation due to employment reasons. We celebrated with a meal afterwards.

This seems bonkers! My DDs school were happy to authorise her attending her grandma's (long awaited!) graduation from her PhD. The message from the head said "how inspiring for her. Hope she has a lovely day, please do share some photos with us for assembly".