Sibling graduation is an exceptional curcumstance

[Oldgalgames]

I recently applied to my DD13's school for 1 days absence to attend her sisters graduation (DD22) in November which has been declined as its not deemed an 'exceptional circumstance'. My DD13 had 98% attendance last year, was off for the flu last November which has been her only absence, is in top sets for all STEM subects. I know we wont get a fine, and we will be attending as a family anyway, its more the principle as I do truely believe this is of course an exceptional circumstance. A sibling's university graduation happens once or twice in a lifetime, it’s an important family milestone and incredibly inspiring for a 13 year-old to witness. I should add this is the first ever request I have submitted to school for an absence!

I am being unreasonable, school are right to decline this request as its not an exceptional circumstance

I am not being unreasonable it is an exceptional circumstance

In most cases you only get a standard issue of two graduation tickets - so I don't think it's expected for siblings to go along as well as 2 parents. Nice if they can, but not a "life event"

Where does it say that in the book of school policies? As you can see many other posters have had this same request authorised by schools.

I don’t think it’s an exceptional circumstance, but I would have just called her out sick and not made such a fuss.

Its not an exceptional circumstance for her like a family wedding or funeral. My brother didn't attend my graduation, i only went to his cos I had nothing better to do that day. At my graduation few brought siblings with them. Its not a good enough excuse for missing school.

lol ok. Tell me, what exactly do you find shitty about the Irish schooling system?

It's rather laughable that you think people that end up living in England (I'm here not by choice BTW), should accept shitty nonsense such as school fines. And I'll tell you what, if I took my children out of school for a week to go back home to a family funeral - I'd be fined. Are you seriously telling me that that is acceptable? Are you telling me that that isn't shitty English school nonsense? Because this nonsense isn't in other parts of the UK such as NI or Scotland.

You may have Irish family, but you're clearly indoctrinated into the English system if you think anyone living here is "audacious" to dare criticise anything about the country, a country that has many flaws at that.

And I'll tell you another thing, your Irish family would roll their eyes to the ceiling if you expressed your displeasure at their criticism of the English system. Have you never read up on Irish history? Have you never immersed yourself in the wonderful Irish culture, full of wit and humour that we have?

There's a reason why us Irish find the English (particularly the southern) uptight 😉

Anyway, not meaning to offend millions of people here, just replying to this specific poster. I have a lovely non-uptight English husband and friends 😁

Just play the game. Phone in sick.

Death is one of the only "occasions" that isn't exceptional as it happens to everyone...

Oh my god. Are you honestly this obtuse?

The school pretty much has to decline but they probably agree with you and will wish your son a great day. They did that with my kids when we asked for a couple of days off for my grandmother's 90th birthday celebration (needed a day or so because my family is abroad). They fully supported our decision to take the kids away but they had to decline due to the LAs guidance. It doesn't matter either way. Just have a great day!

You’re surely not comparing a death in the family to a graduation ceremony OP? I fortunately didn’t actually experience a death in the family until I was in my 20’s, but a much loved family member dying, vs a prize giving ceremony? Surely you can see the difference?

Son?

Which son are people talking about?!

You think it's exceptional. Someone else might think that an older sibling appearing on stage in the West End or playing elite sport is exceptional. I guess they get quite a lot of random requests like this. I wonder if they are blocking all these requests - seems a bit churlish and joy-zapping to me. Some schools can't see the wood for the trees!

The rules have been tightened recently. What might have been authorised a couple if years ago is unlikely to be authorised now.

And it’s government policy which is being implemented by schools. The school gets very little say.

What if the school asks the child what was wrong with them? Do you expect your child to lie? Pretty awful parenting.

How do you know she has a son? She hasn't mentioned one!

On average people graduate in their lifetimes approximately as many times as they die. Both are therefore as exceptional as each other.

It doesn’t really matter what sex the kid is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes I’m perplexed by the ‘academic family’ day out, tickets are so limited

She hasn't mentioned having a son so why do people keep talking about her son?!

I voted YABU because it’s not an exceptional circumstance- as in she doesn’t have to go and most siblings don’t go to graduations. An exceptional circumstance is a funeral or essential medical appointment.

BUT I don’t think you would be unreasonable to just take her anyway, she’s your child you can take her out of school for a day if you want to.

My siblings have never attended any of my graduations and I haven’t attended theirs.

But, it’s important to you so why does it matter if it unauthorised or not? We always tend to do things by the book, but I’m taking my child out of school for a family event and I know it won’t meet the criteria. So what? Who gets to decide what events matter? The parents. It’s only a day, I’m sure these rules aren’t in place to stop people taking a day out of school for a rare special event. It’s for children who are consistently taken out of school.

I’d prefer those children are monitored and we have an unauthorised day out of school. One day will make no difference to my child’s education as they are fortunate to not be in the situation these blanket laws are made for.

Apologies if I misread your original post. I thought your younger child was a son. It matters not a jot to the idea however.

We only ever got 2 tickets for each of my 3 children's graduations so none attended each other's

Watching from Ireland, I just can't believe this. We just tell the school what we are doing. We have amongst the highest rates of progression to third level in the EU so doesn't seem to be doing any harm.