To think this is unfair? Holiday.

[Chefpig]

I'm going on holiday with another person. Last time we went, they had the much nicer accommodation and mine was very basic. This time, check in is at different times and they're insisting I have the first accommodation we can check in to earlier as I have pets and they think I should settle the pets in, and they have the second. I mentioned the other day that we should look at them both and this time its my choice to choose which I prefer out of the two. We can always go in the first at check in and move my pets easily to the second. This is something she agreed to and is now going back on her word. AIBU to be pissed off at this? I really don't want to go away now.

Are you actually sure both are saver bronze?

Although they dot them around site the location from the sound of it for the second caravan sounds like a premium location which they can command a higher price for.

They like to keep savers and bronzes close to the pub/club/arcades as people who pay less for their accommodation tend to spend more on site where where as people who pay for the prime locations tend to spend more time at their caravan/off site and spending less money on the site.

Same as the sun holidays they try to stick them as close to the clubhouse as possible so drain as much cash out of them that way.

I understand the set up now regarding the different caravans and the history of who pays and that your mum is paying this time, but what I absolutely cannot understand is why you are skirting round the topic by saying “let’s check in to the first one and then we’ll see etc etc”
You know which one is the nicest one. The one by the sea / sand dunes. So you need to be upfront and spell it out.
“Mum, I know you’ve paid for this year as I was short on cash but I’d really love to have the 2nd caravan. I always let you choose which room / caravan you have and am usually happy to go with whatever, but it would mean a lot to me and be a real treat if I could have first choice this time.”

Why are we pussy footing around? You’ve paid for 10+ years of the previous breaks & always given her the best one!?

Do you even like your mother? She's does sound selfish but what a waste of time and emotions.

Can you call the park and just say you are arriving together so both are available? Or, if you drive together, time it so they are available by the time you get there?

I'd be inclined to cancel my booking and let Mum and partner go themselves tbh. It doesn't sound relaxing for you!

I agree with this actually.

I’m wondering if your mum has actually paid for an upgraded caravan but hasn’t told you, which is why she’s adamant that you check in first.

After reading all of the updates I just don’t see the problem.

You have continuously chosen to pay for the better caravan for her, I don’t get why. Clearly she doesn’t care because she has booked the cheaper one herself this time.

The standard of caravan is the same, so the only difference is in the location, you know the location in advance so why are you even discussing the whole situation of getting settled then checking etc…it’s pointless.

Tell her you would like the other caravan before you go, and explain that the location is better for the dogs. If she declines then there is nothing you can do about it because she has paid this time.

Next time when you pay just stop getting her the better one or get her to pay for herself. Issue is of your own making here

Not really clear why youd book two such vastly different standard of rooms. And if she always gets the better room why suddenly you need the better room this time?

Is it because you thought she couldn't afford it that you paid and gave her the nicer caravan all this time, OP? It feels like there might be more going on in the background.

Either way, take the chance to decide if this is really how you want things to be going forward after this holiday. Just because you've done something for years, doesn't mean you have to keep doing it if it isn't making you happy.

I don’t think I’d go with her tbh!

But I’d be thinking the second caravan is better for someone with dogs because

a.
right next to the path for walking them
b. They won’t disturb neighbours so much.

This is interesting- I’d never have known that!

Interesting that those who are prepared to/ can afford to spend less on the accommodation itself then spend more on site.

She’s your mum. I’m afraid mums always get the better room/caravan/seat or whatever it is. That’s how it works.

Stop going on holiday with your selfish mother, for chrissake.

Just choose the one with the best location as they’re both the spectre of caravan they’ll be the same inside.

even if the other one is nice inside, you’ll still have the nicer location. If the nicer location isn’t available when you arrive, just say no worries and take the dogs for a walk

Just say the agreement was it's my turn to choose this time. So let's stick to that. Don't make arrangements for any more holidays with her.

When you’re going to live on the extra paid activities / live in the club house and eat out most days you don’t care so much what your accommodation is like as your barely in it.

Wheres when I’m paying saying 2k a week for a sea view lodge I’m eating in there and watching the sea of an evening playing games with the children. Enjoying breakfast on the decking. So they get maybe a meal and the arcade out of me but I’ve coughed up to start with.

God I think you're being utterly pathetic. They're both saver caravans, they'll be largely the same. You're being so incredibly petty. Her idea is sensible.

Why don't you arrive second, after her? That way she will get the first one?

I'd imagine most caravan sites have set caravans that dogs aren't allowed in due to others having allergies, so there's a possibility that that could take the decision out of your hands.

Surely you have to have which ever caravan is pet accommodation. They usually have some savers for pets and some that aren’t. I assume you haven’t booked two pet friendly accommodations.

Here we go -

Mum I’m paying for the accommodation. Last year you had a nicer one, this year I’m going to see which one I prefer and you can have to other one. If you don’t want this / you can book your own. I won’t be offended.

Can’t you get the keys to both caravans when you check in as they were booked and are being paid for by the same person?

It's lovely that you and your mom have such a strong relationship that you holiday together, pay for each other etc. Please don't let an argument about quality of accommodation spoil that - it's truly not worth it. Your mom won't be around forever, and she may not be well enough to holiday with you forever - this is honestly not worth falling out over.

We had our first family holiday with mom this year (dad had dementia for ten years - he sadly passed in January, so she is now able to travel). We let her choose the room she felt most comfortable in and I think we would always do that going forwards - being mor elderly, her needs around level of comfort, location etc are more specific.

That said, I can see that the second caravan you describe is much more convenient for dog walking, so I do understand why you would prefer that one.

Could you approach it with her that way? Rather than making it seem like a competition for who gets the "best" accommodation, just say you have looked at the location of both and the second offers great dog walking opportunities so it would be brilliant if you could have that one?

It's not worth an argument and a fall out, honestly. I hope you all have a lovely time away!

Just say you want the caravan with the location near to the beach. Sounds like that would be best for the dogs in any event. Don't settle the dogs in to the other caravan on arrival, take them for a walk on the beach. Or arrive later if possible.

A summary of some salient points for those joining the thread now:

1. This year mom has paid for and booked both.
2. For the last 14 years OP paid for and booked both and let mom have the best one.
3. Both are pet friendly.
4. OP's mom does not mind OP bringing the pets in any way!

In view of the fact that you clearly think the position of the second caravan is better than the first, then just tell your Mum you'll have the second one, and that way she can get in first, have a cup of tea, and get settled, while you take the dogs for a walk after the journey.