To think this is unfair? Holiday.

[Chefpig]

I'm going on holiday with another person. Last time we went, they had the much nicer accommodation and mine was very basic. This time, check in is at different times and they're insisting I have the first accommodation we can check in to earlier as I have pets and they think I should settle the pets in, and they have the second. I mentioned the other day that we should look at them both and this time its my choice to choose which I prefer out of the two. We can always go in the first at check in and move my pets easily to the second. This is something she agreed to and is now going back on her word. AIBU to be pissed off at this? I really don't want to go away now.

She will argue and not leave it alone and then there'll be an atmosphere all week.

Just don't go then. Stay at home and have a lovely peaceful time with your dogs!

She doesnt mind that I am bringing the pets. They go everywhere. Very well behaved.

She’s paying so surely it’s her choice?

But if you’re desperate for the other caravan, then just put your foot down and say that one will be better for the dogs etc so you’re having it as that was what was planned - but as she’s paying for it there’s not a lot you can do.

Are you not planning on spending time together?
Surely it doesn’t really matter which one has which as you’ll both be in each others anyway?

Are you planning on walking to the beach without her?

Honestly such a storm in a teacup. So both caravans are the same inside but one is better situated.
If it matters that much to you why not ring up the site and ask which one is going to be available for early check in and take it from there. To be fair to your DM if it does take a lot of time to get the dogs settled and you’re unable to go out whilst you’re doing that, then it makes a lot of sense for you to take the first available caravan.

Sounds like she was happy for you to have the choice of caravan when she thought they were the same (an empty gesture) but as soon as she realised one was much better, she changed her mind. She sounds very selfish. Next time you book and pay, get her a tent and yourself a deluxe caravan

Honestly? So much angst for what should be a nice break away!

Does the caravan position really matter that much?

I'd just take whatever caravan and be glad to be getting away. I'd let mum have the nicer position caravan because she's my mum, and I'd really not care about this

If you are worried the whole break will be made about the caravan nonsense, just say now you don't want to go. Sounds like the whole thing has potential to be miserable if you all make such a big deal about who gets which same grade caravan on the same site

Hopefully this will be the last time you agree to go on holiday with this person.

Frankly, I wouldn’t want someone else’s pets in my accommodation. If they put their pets in it, then that’s what they are taking! Maybe don’t put the dogs in any caravan until sorted out which one is yours, otherwise YABU.

@Chefpig Why are you being awkward with us? If you start a thread on here, it's not unreasonable to expect you to engage with people who comment. In fact, not to do so is actually rude. We can't be of any help if you won't answer questions, which means we don't understand the situation enough to comment.
I'll try again but I'm not hopeful! @Chefpig , what sort of place is the accommodation?
Why are there separate book in times?
Who made the booking?
Why do you not know already which room is "best"?
Why are you holidaying with this friend if your relationship is as shaky as you imply?

For my mother, I'd probably just put up with the less nice accommodation and accept that it is a bit ungenerous (given that it is your turn to have the better accommodation) of her but as she is paying this time, I would just suck it up. Obviously as it is your mother, there will be a whole host of other stuff in the mix here too. Otherwise, you'll just feel hacked off and might as well not go or she will feel hacked off and thinking she might have well have not gone. What do you think would happen if you said you wouldn't go? In future, I'd maybe re-think these trips away - maybe try a day out instead?

Frankly, I wouldn’t want someone else’s pets in my accommodation. If they put their pets in it, then that’s what they are taking! Maybe don’t put the dogs in any caravan until sorted out which one is yours, otherwise YABU.

I think the other person being your mother is quite important information.

I would insist my mum take the nicer accommodation, especially if she's paid for it.

So basically you have 2 caravans and you both want the better situated one. You had previously agreed that it's your turn for first choice this time, but now your mum is going back on that, under the faux-concern that the less nice one is better for your dogs. Honestly, a parent that would do that to their own child isn't someone I would go away with.

I always actually pay for her to have a nicer van with terrace, but this time I actually thought it might be my turn to have the nicer accommodation/location. Even when we've stayed in hotels, of one room is nicer or has the nicer views, I always say she's welcome to it. Always. Just this once I was hopeful.

She does have very selfish tendencies though, so I shouldn't be surprised.

Please put your foot down. When asked about regrets the only one I have is being utter people pleaser aka doormat in my youth.

Op is paying not her mum. If you've paid op you must be the lead name on the booking? Take the one you want she can't stop you.

@Chefpig just because there will be an atmosphere if you don’t let her have her way is not a reason to give in to her. Worst case then is you stay away in your quiet caravan nearer the beach.

So you either say “no, my turn to choose as agreed” or you just give in to her. Either way, make this the last holiday where one of you books both sets of accommodation. Book separately.

She has paid for this one. First holiday shes paid for in around 15 years of us doing this yearly breaks.

Normally with caravans there are specific pet ones, is this not the case this time? I would just double check as you may find the one nearer the open space is the dog friendly caravan. Worth asking?

Why do you do these breaks? It sounds like they breed resentment, and are not ultimately good for your relationship with your mother.

But does it matter enough to potentially have a crap time for the rest of the holiday?

Why not just accept this as it is, and make a deal with yourself that given your mum can be so difficult over things, don't go away with her again next year? Go alone with your dogs in future and have a lovely time instead of having to bother will all of the drama?

The location of the caravan wouldn't bother me at all...in fact, I'd want my mum to have the lovely location, because I clearly have a different relationship and dynamic with my mum than you do yours. But all this stress before you have even gone away, is it really worth it?

Why can’t you look at photos of both the caravans and decide which one you each have before you go?

Caravan accommodation

They allocate different booking times to stagger people turning up all at once

She made the booking

Can't see which caravan is best because it doesnt show insides of the accommodation, but the second caravan is the best based on location. Locations massively vary with the first tightpy packed with other caravans, overlooking the back of another caravan and a car park and the second overlooking sand dunes, not packed right beside another van, quiet location with the coastal path right outside it.

Who said you had the choice? Frankly this sounds like a miserable set up and I wonder why you repeat it.