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AIBU?

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For not going on my friends partner’s surprise birthday party on Halloween while im also celebrating my bday on Halloween’s eve

135 replies

melindarra · Yesterday 21:32

Both me and her partner have birthday just 3 days apart from halloween he has on oktober and i have on novemeber. To say it out, i always host my bday parties on halloween or same week halloween is because the pubs and nightclubs always throws fun halloween events and i LOVE halloween most friends know i make my birthday parties every weekend halloween is’ close to as my birthday party. I haven’t made any pre party event at my house yet but all me and my partner’s group friend knows about my upcoming halloween birthday party because they all besides from this friend and her partner came to my boyfriends birthday party this september.

And my friend is throwing him a suprise birthday party and told me in message to keep that day off, i cant totally blame her bcs she didnt know yet by my upcoming birthday party on 31 october aswell.. it seems as she consider me and my boyfriend to be closer friends with him than we really are in reality.. we barely see them after they had their kiddo of 2 years, and im her friend. so i feel like we have fallen out a bit of the friendship, after i told her that i also was making my birthday party on October 31 she got kinda mad because she tought i was just saying it right now as it wasn’t planned in my head 4 months ago.. i did tell her sorry bout it but she didn’t responded, but i wasn’t gonna cancel my own bday party for her partners suprise party either, since i wanna have my people to celebrate with me..

english not my first language so plz be nice :)

OP posts:
MeetMeOnTheCorner · Yesterday 21:51

Can you not just go to the party? You sound very self centred! Why is this date reserved for you? It’s a bit childish. I’d grow up a bit and value other people.

melindarra · Yesterday 21:56

@MeetMeOnTheCorner
Apparently having my own birthday party on my own birthday is now self-centred. Good to know 😆 jesus

OP posts:
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · Yesterday 22:02

October 31st this year is a Saturday so that makes perfect sense if she’s throwing a party for someone who has a birthday a few days later.

Sorry OP but grown adults being childish about their birthday is really weird.

melindarra · Yesterday 22:06

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · Yesterday 22:02

October 31st this year is a Saturday so that makes perfect sense if she’s throwing a party for someone who has a birthday a few days later.

Sorry OP but grown adults being childish about their birthday is really weird.

@Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i agree, she can absolutely throw his party on 31 October. Im just equally allowed to throw mine🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Eatally · Yesterday 22:08

Am I missing something - the parties are on different days? So you can easily go to both?

melindarra · Yesterday 22:09

@Eatally
No its on 31 october both if it was another day it be different😆

OP posts:
BugJuice · Yesterday 22:09

melindarra · Yesterday 21:56

@MeetMeOnTheCorner
Apparently having my own birthday party on my own birthday is now self-centred. Good to know 😆 jesus

I thought you said your birthday is November?
Anyway, you’re not unreasonable to decline the invitation. Your friend wasn’t unreasonable to invite you. No one is being unreasonable.

melindarra · Yesterday 22:13

@BugJuice it is mine is 3 november and his is 27 october so i love halloween n love making my bday on halloween week. Since its close. And this year its the first time it lands on Saturday wich is perfect in my opinion

OP posts:
Melancholyflower · Yesterday 22:14

Do you have a birthday party every year? Is the party she is throwing for him a 'big' birthday? I've never known adults to regularly have actual parties for random birthdays.

melindarra · Yesterday 22:17

@Melancholyflower yea me and my partner love celebrating with our friends bcs we dont see them often either, nah i think its just like my party something with friends of his aswell

OP posts:
Summerbay23 · Yesterday 22:18

This is really very dull. Throw your party when you like, your friends DP can also throw theirs when they like. Not sure who is being unreasonable. Sounds like they planned theirs first though so YABU to be cross that they got in their first though.

Clonakilla · Yesterday 22:21

She got in first, you hold yours another night and enjoy his party.

Birthday plans you’ve made in your mind for a day that’s not your actual birthday aren’t binding on others……next year make your thoughts into words.

JackJarvisEsq · Yesterday 22:21

melindarra · Yesterday 22:13

@BugJuice it is mine is 3 november and his is 27 october so i love halloween n love making my bday on halloween week. Since its close. And this year its the first time it lands on Saturday wich is perfect in my opinion

Halloween has fallen on a Saturday many times, this isn’t the first time

melindarra · Yesterday 22:21

@Summerbay23 it does sound but i planned mine 2 months ago ish with my friends who came to my partnes birthday party, they where also invited btw but couldn’t make it to my partnes birthday party or else they also known by them. So in my i don’t think im being unreasonable just like her.

OP posts:
maybemaybenot17363 · Yesterday 22:22

This reply has been deleted

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melindarra · Yesterday 22:23

@JackJarvisEsq yes ofc not😆 but it IS the first time i get to throw it on saturday after i started to host

OP posts:
melindarra · Yesterday 22:25

@maybemaybenot17363 sure u not 8 or maybe 9? Because why u even commenting something that has nothing to do with my post?😆

OP posts:
LiquoriceAllsorts2 · Yesterday 22:25

of course she can have a party on Halloween, it’s the closest Saturday to his party, they are doing nothing wrong. But if you can’t make it as you will be celebrating your birthday then fair enough just decline the invite.
if you would be inviting the same guest well she got in first but it’s up to the guests to choose whose birthday they go to.

Somewhereovertherainbowwewillmeetagain · Yesterday 22:25

Go to your friends dp party on the Saturday and you have your party the following Saturday nothing to stop you having a Halloween themed party 🎃

Then everyone has a party and with no drama involved.

2chocolateoranges · Yesterday 22:25

Are you having an actual party or just a birthday night out?

I’ve been to weddings and birthday parties on my actual birthday, I’m not that self centred that stops me going to other peoples special days on my birthday.

NancyDrooo · Yesterday 22:26

Is it a milestone birthday for either of you? Because ending in a zero does slightly trump other birthdays.

Are your mutual friends invited to both?

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · Yesterday 22:26

melindarra · Yesterday 22:23

@JackJarvisEsq yes ofc not😆 but it IS the first time i get to throw it on saturday after i started to host

What about when your actual birthday fell on a Saturday? Surely you always could do the closest Saturday to your birthday, like you want to do this year

maybemaybenot17363 · Yesterday 22:27

melindarra · Yesterday 22:25

@maybemaybenot17363 sure u not 8 or maybe 9? Because why u even commenting something that has nothing to do with my post?😆

You are a very immature individual.

melindarra · Yesterday 22:27

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 we dont share the same friend group

OP posts:
LiquoriceAllsorts2 · Yesterday 22:28

melindarra · Yesterday 22:21

@Summerbay23 it does sound but i planned mine 2 months ago ish with my friends who came to my partnes birthday party, they where also invited btw but couldn’t make it to my partnes birthday party or else they also known by them. So in my i don’t think im being unreasonable just like her.

well that’s your fault for not inviting them then

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