For not going on my friends partner’s surprise birthday party on Halloween while im also celebrating my bday on Halloween’s eve

[melindarra]

Both me and her partner have birthday just 3 days apart from halloween he has on oktober and i have on novemeber. To say it out, i always host my bday parties on halloween or same week halloween is because the pubs and nightclubs always throws fun halloween events and i LOVE halloween most friends know i make my birthday parties every weekend halloween is’ close to as my birthday party. I haven’t made any pre party event at my house yet but all me and my partner’s group friend knows about my upcoming halloween birthday party because they all besides from this friend and her partner came to my boyfriends birthday party this september.

And my friend is throwing him a suprise birthday party and told me in message to keep that day off, i cant totally blame her bcs she didnt know yet by my upcoming birthday party on 31 october aswell.. it seems as she consider me and my boyfriend to be closer friends with him than we really are in reality.. we barely see them after they had their kiddo of 2 years, and im her friend. so i feel like we have fallen out a bit of the friendship, after i told her that i also was making my birthday party on October 31 she got kinda mad because she tought i was just saying it right now as it wasn’t planned in my head 4 months ago.. i did tell her sorry bout it but she didn’t responded, but i wasn’t gonna cancel my own bday party for her partners suprise party either, since i wanna have my people to celebrate with me..

english not my first language so plz be nice :)

It is the best date for a birthday, no doubt!

No one is judging you for not wanting to cancel. They are judging you for thinking it is unreasonable for someone else to also plan a party on that day

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 it may have sounded like that bcs i said she got mad at me after i told her i was hosting my own

Why did your partner have their party in September if their birthday is end of October?

I'd do my birthday whenever I wanted. A normal response from your friend would be a mild expression of disappointment, then wishing you a happy birthday and suggesting maybe you can all get together another time soon. If she's not as close of a friend as she thought, maybe this is for the best.

I don't see why people are saying the OP thinks her friend's partner is unreasonable for having his party on Halloween. I don't see that. If anything, it's the friend who is angry with OP for not coming to their party instead of carrying on with her own prior plans. (She seems not to believe that the party was already planned, which is strange.)

So the only person that links both of the birthday people is your friend, as you have separate friendship groups? Surely she throws the party for him and invites his friends and you have yours and invite your friends. I don’t think he’ll mind you not being there, as you’re not actually a friend of his, but she’s invited you as her friend. Just say sorry can’t come as I’m doing something for my own birthday that night, but I’m sure he won’t miss me.

yeah, I was just responding to ‘apparently having my own birthday party on my own birthday is now self-centred’. It’s not on your birthday. I’m not saying you shouldn’t celebrate it on the 31st, that’s entirely your choice, but it’s not your birthday.
As I said, neither of you are unreasonable. You can both have a party whatever day you want.

It’s her friend’s partner’s birthday at the end of October isn’t it? Not the OP’s partner

@puppysleepdeprivation thanks! Feels like some ppl really didn’t read my post at all and started making their own conclusions and assumptions about my post and wording that i won’t cancel my own plan for my friends partners plan sure i was a bit dissapointed it was same as mine but i never said she can’t make his birthday and even said if they go to town we can meet there if they want.

@BugJuice is there a law for when celebrating? Some ppl celebrate 1-2 weeks after even before their birthday day because of busy and stuff. Its not that deep unless u making u birthday that is on june on halloween😆but even so i guess

Halloween Eve? Haven't read the thread, but REALLY?

Unless you are turning 5 OP this is seriously silly.

@BugJuice ok so the mast one n yea agree everyone can make when want

@estrogone whats silly to you dosnt mean it is for others. Some ppl can be very weird bout it i see like ur comment.

No, I didn’t say there was. As I said repeatedly, celebrate whenever you want! I was merely responding to ‘apparently it’s self centred to celebrate my birthday on my birthday’. Factually,
it’s not your birthday.
But again, as I keep saying, you can celebrate whenever you want and you’re not being unreasonable.

But you just admitted 31st isn't your b'day.

Good Lord, it’s like madness on here. The op clearly isn’t cross with the friend, the friend is cross with her!

Its October

So your friends aren’t invited to his party too? So it’s not like he is ‘stealing’ your guests? In which case what’s the problem, just tell your friend you can’t go to her bf’s party cos you’re having your own that evening with different people attending.

You said in your OP that your birthday is in November.

So then the party isn’t on your actual birthday (referring to your self-centred post)

Well then it doesn’t matter. You just can’t make their party, end of.

@Ace56 no because those are mine we dont share same friends. Pluss my friend and her partner has only met me and my partners friend group one time last year. So no no one is stealing each others ppl we already have 6 prob 7 coming already so yea

So you planned your party 2mths ago but only told a few friends to save the date

why didn’t you tell /invite your friend to yours

you move in diff friend groups so surely just tell friend you can’t make her bf party /birthday as out for yours

I think it’s that in some posts the op seems a bit put out and like everyone should know that’s when she does her birthday. Could be wrong here but I can see the op responding to the invite by saying but that’s when my birthday is and then the friends responds based on the ops attitude.

Your friend is being ridiculous. Go ahead with your birthday plans and ignore her. If she was that close a friend she would know that you might be busy that day anyway.
I can only assume that the people saying that you’re unreasonable haven’t read your post properly.