For not going on my friends partner’s surprise birthday party on Halloween while im also celebrating my bday on Halloween’s eve

[melindarra]

Both me and her partner have birthday just 3 days apart from halloween he has on oktober and i have on novemeber. To say it out, i always host my bday parties on halloween or same week halloween is because the pubs and nightclubs always throws fun halloween events and i LOVE halloween most friends know i make my birthday parties every weekend halloween is’ close to as my birthday party. I haven’t made any pre party event at my house yet but all me and my partner’s group friend knows about my upcoming halloween birthday party because they all besides from this friend and her partner came to my boyfriends birthday party this september.

And my friend is throwing him a suprise birthday party and told me in message to keep that day off, i cant totally blame her bcs she didnt know yet by my upcoming birthday party on 31 october aswell.. it seems as she consider me and my boyfriend to be closer friends with him than we really are in reality.. we barely see them after they had their kiddo of 2 years, and im her friend. so i feel like we have fallen out a bit of the friendship, after i told her that i also was making my birthday party on October 31 she got kinda mad because she tought i was just saying it right now as it wasn’t planned in my head 4 months ago.. i did tell her sorry bout it but she didn’t responded, but i wasn’t gonna cancel my own bday party for her partners suprise party either, since i wanna have my people to celebrate with me..

english not my first language so plz be nice :)

I couldn't even follow this but my bday is within a day of yours and I'm doing a fireworks party the weekend after. Can't you do similar?

"it's the first time [Halloween's]`s landed on a Saturday"

Amazing, so you're 7 this year? Or older? I forgot about leap years

Anyway, your friend has had a child, so presumably her life has changed, but thought even with having a 2 year old "kiddo" it might be nice to do something nice for her partner? And have people there they care about because I'm guessing they're not going out as much as before because of the "kiddo", so it would be nice to have everyone together

But you're pouting because there's a chance people might prefer to go and spend time with those adults rather than whatever you're planning on doing?

Then what is the issue?
just say you already have plans and can’t make it.

in my opinion, you’re over thinking this.

Why don’t you have a joint party? You can each have a cake if you want an element of individuality.

Ok, I'm not seeing the problem?
You host your party, she hosts hers, and guest go to the one hosted by their friend?

My birthday is also 3 Nov and it's better to celebrate on Bonfire Night anyway.

Exactly!

@2chocolateoranges you do you🤷‍♀️ im not self centred just because i planned this 4 months ago n bought birthday stuff 2 months ago. I dont blame her either

Would a joint party be a possibility?

@Gazelda it would feel a bit weird bcs im not close to her partner as a friend since i meet him trough her. And she also has her own plannings for his and none of us have that big place for each others friends

But you are annoyed that 4 months ago you planned a party which you didn’t invite them to and now they are having a party on the same day but inviting different people apart from you. Would it be ok if they threw the party but just didn’t invite you?

I am really confused about what is actually the issue

Sorry @Gazelda , I didn't see your post (problem with reading backwards!)

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 aqtually i planned on inviting them bcs i was making my event on facebook next week😆

@MissingMeadow
I live in norway so we dont have this srry

Ah ok that's a shame.

Just continue with the separate parties. Presumably you already replied to the friend that you always have your birthday on Halloween and had already made plans 4 months ago. If she has a problem, do you really care? As in, does it actually affect you?

@JWhipple huns we dont share the same friend group

If you have different friends groups then I dont see a problem, As not like people will have to choose which party to attend

Ok and presumably they would have declined.

just tell them that you have already planned a party on that day, most invites are still to go out but some already know about it so unfortunately can’t make his. Then suggest you meet up another weekend instead - if babysitting is an issue then ask if they would prefer a meal out or you come over and get a takeaway at theirs if it easier

@LiquoriceAllsorts2 i did tomd her they could meet us in town if they where heading there after his party in evening

YANBU - you have already planned your party and unfortunately they’re on the same days - why on earth would anyone expect you to cancel your party so you can attend a friends partners birthday?!?!
If you all had the same friends groups I could understand maybe trying to figure something out but my god, you don’t!
Enjoy your party @melindarra ❤️🎊

I think you are really overthinking this

@Brideofclover thank you🥰 yea its is unfortunately bcs they where also invted to mines since i was making event on facebook next week. But ppl here seem to judge me for not wanting to canceling my own birthday party and that is childish. Pluss me and him will have our own set of friends in our own bday parties.

This isn’t an answer to your question but my birthday is the same date, and I’ve never thought I had a Halloween birthday! I think I have a close to Fireworks night birthday - and when I was little I had birthdays centred around that (I know you’re not British so you won’t have done!)

My dd has a birthday the day before Halloween so she has been known to celebrate that day.

But I definitely wouldn’t think someone born in 3 November had dibs on Halloween - it’s too many days away to have a claim on that day.

Celebrating on the 6th or 7th is pretty much the same distance from your birthday.

But you want to do it on 31st it’s not unreasonable as such. Equally her boyfriend isn’t unreasonable to have a party that day. But no, they can’t compel you to go to that or to cancel your own party with friends.